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Monday, October 21, 2002
Paul Krugman has lots of friends...
Great piece of writing over at the Pennsylvania Gazette on Paul Krugman's recent article in Sunday's Times
posted by tbogg at 9:59 PM
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Can we get a table for eight...maybe a corner booth?
All eight Black American conservatives are planning to visit a local Beltway Denny's to have a bitch session about Harry Belafonte. Apparently, he's not acting white enough. Denny's said that they would seat them, but they seemed kind of nervous about the whole thing and were calling in an extra busboy to stand by the door. Just in case.
Clarence Thomas issued a press release stating that he couldn't attend on such short notice since he already paid for the Spice channel for the evening and he had "big plans" wink wink.
posted by tbogg at 9:47 PM
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That's Some Good Shit was already taken by the hemp store...
Family Christian Stores objects to their new neighbor, The Bad Ass Coffee Company.
posted by tbogg at 9:36 PM
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I use drugs to get over the pain of losing my dwarf
They found drugs on the Kid Rock's tour bus. It's hard to believe a guy who looks like this would use drugs.
posted by tbogg at 9:30 PM
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I love the smell of burning jelly dongs in the morning...it smells like...bankruptcy.
Jesus took time out from his busy schedule being Lord and all, to tell a man in Kentucky to get out of the porn business.
When contacted, Jesus said "So I told him it was like bad karma and shit, and he's all, "really?, and I'm all, 'Yeah. Ask my dad' and he's all, 'Um okay' and I said if he did it I would let him talk to Dale Earnhardt, and he was all, 'I'm on it, dude' ".
posted by tbogg at 9:26 PM
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More Sullivan's travails...
I was going to bypass commenting on our pal Andy for a while since he is getting more blog time than he truly deserves. The fact of the matter is that Andrew Sullivan is a third-rate pundit who has become the flavor of the month since he has staked out his territory as the "gay, Catholic, neo-con" who latches onto every utterance from the administration as if were the revealed word, and then proceeds to use it to attack those poor, poor lefties who are only moments away from being swept into the dustbin of history. Meanwhile he gloms onto sodden contrarian Christopher Hitchens, by constantly exclaiming, " Look! It's me, Hitchens, and Orwell. The Abraham, Martin, and John of perspicacity! " In terms of vicarious glamour, that’s a pretty low bar, even by Sullivan standards..(The day that Hitchens turns on Sullivan, I want to be there.)
So, having said all that…I want to note his little outtake from his Sunday Times column, which I'm not even going to link, that is up on his blog, which I'm also not going to link.
THE LEFT'S NEGATIVISM: "Ask the average leftist today what he is for, and you will not get a particularly eloquent response. Ask him what he is against, and the rhetorical floodgates open. That tells you something. Similarly, ask the average anti-war activist what she is for with regard to Iraq, what exactly she thinks we should constructively do, and the stammering and stuttering begins. Do we just leave Saddam alone? Do we send Jimmy Carter to sign the kind of deal he made with North Korea eight years ago? Will pressuring the Israelis remove the nerve gas and potential nukes Saddam has in his possession? Will ceding the West Bank to people who cheered the destruction of the World Trade Center help defang al Qaeda? They don't say and don't know. But what they do know is what they are against: American power, Israeli human rights abuses, British neo-imperialism, the "racist" war on Afghanistan, and on and on. Get them started on their hatreds, and the words pour out. No wonder some have started selling the Protocols of the Elders of Zion in Central Park." - from my latest Sunday Times piece on the anti-Semitism hijacking the anti-war movement
Aside from the fact that he now seems intent to convince us that the Left has become anti-Semitic just because we aren't in lockstep with the Sharon government, Andy posits that the Left can't tell him "what it is for", proving that his ears are closed as his mind. The world and the blogoshere are full of people that can explain to him in simple words, that even George Bush can understand, what it is that they are "for". He just has to choose to listen. But it's so much easier for Andy to play the obtuse game which allows him to be bitchy, hysterical, and self-obsessed, as if the world needed yet another Ann Coulter..
So go ahead, Andy. Play the game to drive up those all-important hits to the Blog Where Logic and Reason Die. Maybe with a few more mentions of the dreaded Trinity of Streisand, Chomsky, and Sontag, you can attract the attention of a Scaife or Scaife-wannabe, which will lead to the Promised Land where all third-tier hacks ply their trade and fulminate for a meager paycheck: FrontPage magazine.
Bye bye Andy…and don’t forget to write.
posted by tbogg at 9:13 PM
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As important as dogma 95
Mona Charen says....oh... who cares... Mona Charen... pffftttt
Nobody reads Mona Charen any more (if they ever did), and they can't remember why they read her in the first place. I mean, jeez, she was Nancy Reagan's speechwriter, so I guess we can give her credit for "Just say no", but other than that, like really, who cares?
Sorry I brought her up.
posted by tbogg at 2:15 PM
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Disgruntled fired employee speaks out about guy who eventually replaced him
George H. W. Bush, the Preppy Cadaver and failed former President who didn't win a Nobel Prize even though Michael Kelly seems to think he deserves one, and who was fired by the American voters in 1992 for poor performance, had a few thing to say in Des Moines:
Former President George Bush said Sunday in Des Moines that his son faces the toughest times in the White House since the Civil War.
"The fact is he is wrestling with problems probably as tough as any president has wrestled with since Lincoln," Bush said in headlining a fund-raising dinner for U.S. Rep. Greg Ganske's bid for the U.S. Senate.
But what was more interesting was what he didn't say:
Bush said nothing in his 15-minute address about his son's effort to oust President Saddam Hussein in Iraq - a nation whose army U.S. and allied forces drove from Kuwait in 1991, when the elder Bush was president.
Bush also said nothing about the nation's wobbly economy, the very issue blamed for his re-election defeat in 1992
snip
Sunday's event in Des Moines was expected to bring in $250,000 for the Ganske campaign. The Republican congressman has raised $4.3 million for his Senate bid, and incumbent Democrat Tom Harkin has raised $8.1 million, according to the most recent campaign-finance reports.
Bush said he wasn't visiting to disparage Harkin, although "I very rarely got a vote out of the guy," he quipped. He referred to Harkin's vote against the Persian Gulf War resolution in 1991. "Tom Harkin was unable to join me in that quest for the Senate to vote for that approval," he said.
He later praised Iowa's Republican Sen. Charles Grassley, but he did not mention that Grassley also opposed the Gulf War resolution
Poppy also made comments on his sons winning governerships and his marriage to this Barbara Bush, not this one, who is his granddaughter :
Bush, now 78, joked about election night 1998 when then-Texas Gov. George W. Bush was re-elected to a second term and his brother, Jeb, was elected governor of Florida.
He said he told his wife, Barbara, that "I believe this is the happiest day in my entire life."
Bush said his wife responded sharply: "What about the day we were married?"
"That was a very nice day, too," he said.
Of course he neglected to mention his fling with Jennifer Fitzgerald, which was probably a doomed tragic affair and so it's best not to bring it up because he gets all weepy about it and probably has to go out on his cigarette boat and drive at high speeds while She's Out Of My Life blasts from the speakers....
posted by tbogg at 11:10 AM
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Charity begins at h----oly shit! Check out that rack!
The YWCA in Janesville, Wisconsin didn't Hooter's dirty money.
posted by tbogg at 10:31 AM
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Did I mention how much I love Ann Telnaes?
Her latest.
posted by tbogg at 10:01 AM
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Today's question: Nebraska?- Springsteen album or Bush hiding place?
Apparently Yahoo is confused about German/US relations. Headline:
Springsteen Heals U.S.-German Wounds with Concert
The Germans like the US, they just don't like President Häschen-hosen. Hey. We don't either. That's why more of us voted for Gore.
posted by tbogg at 8:11 AM
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Is Garry Trudeau trying to tell us something?
Ouch.
posted by tbogg at 7:58 AM
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Sunday, October 20, 2002
Death, Taxes, and Republicans
Someday I wanna to be able to write as well as James Capozzola (nice Italian boy that he is) over at Rittenhouse Review.
THE PARTY OF FISCAL IRRESPONSIBILITY
posted by tbogg at 11:26 PM
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...and I'll bring all eight of the people that are going to vote for me to the ticket...
With Mike Taylor, Hairdresser to the Missoulans, dropping out of in the Montana Senate Race, the state of Montana has gotten more press than it really, really deserves. I mean, c'mon, it's Montana, for Christ's sake. When was the last time you stopped during the workday and thought "Man. I sure could use a vacation in Couer d'Alene" which is very sad because Couer d'Alene isn't even in Montana, it's in Idaho. You see, when people in Montana want to have a good time they go to Idaho, and I can't think of can't anything more pathetic than that.
What the hell was I talking about...?
Oh yeah. The Libertarian candidate for the Senate seat announced that he would switch to the Republican side if he won the election.
HELENA - Stan Jones, Libertarian candidate for U.S. Senate, promised Friday to change parties to Republican if he is elected, to give the GOP control of the U.S. Senate.
"I would do it only if (the Republicans) appointed me to the Senate Judiciary Committee so I could pass the final vote on judges," Jones said.
When flamboyant and disturbingly fey Republican nominee Mike Taylor dropped out of the election because he was startled to find out that he was apparently gay back in the seventies, he was holding at about about 33% of the vote. If Stan Jones were to capture all of Taylors support, and combine it with his own, he would end up with about...33% of the vote.
Missoulans were not available for comment as they were all in Couer d'Alene gawking at the bright lights and that big city living....
(By the way...if you're interested in visiting Couer d'Alene here is how far they have gotten on their official website.)
posted by tbogg at 11:03 PM
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Yeah. We told Bush, but he had the blank expression on his face again. Come to think of it, he always has...
Yeah, it's Newsmax, which is to journalism what Candy Crowley is to Jennifer Garner, but we thought it was an important story.
PRAGUE, Czech Republic -- Czech intelligence officials have knocked down one of the few clear links between al-Qaeda terrorists and the Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein, UPI has learned.
Senior Czech intelligence officials have told their American counterparts that they now have "no confidence" in their earlier report of direct meetings in Prague between Mohammed Atta, leader of the Sept. 11 hijackers and an Iraqi diplomat stationed in Prague who has since been expelled for "activities inconsistent with his diplomatic status."
So that story that the CIA has been telling the administration is bullshit, but the administration has been peddling to a gullible populace as a cause for war, turns out to be...bullshit.
We can expect an apology and a correction form the neo-cons...never.
posted by tbogg at 10:38 PM
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But can they play football?
Apparently they have a big mold problem in Alabama schools:
In the basement of Huntsville High School, Col. Bryan Bennett runs seven dehumidifiers. Over the years, he's heard Junior ROTC cadets complain of runny noses, watery eyes and other allergic reactions.
"They don't normally know what's wrong," Bennett said. "I don't know that the students know so much about the mold."
Apparently state school officials are torn about getting rid of the mold as some of the more advanced forms are keeping the average statewide SAT scores 20 points higher than Mississippi's.
posted by tbogg at 10:14 PM
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For when you don't find the Lincoln Log Cabin of Doom stimulating anymore
More proof that the Internet is a vast wasteland...but a funny vast wasteland.
posted by tbogg at 10:05 PM
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Stuck inside of Amherst with those Harvard Blues again...
As you may remember from last week, the state of Massachusetts (which I am really getting tired of typing) is looking for a new state tourism motto along the lines of Virginia is For Lovers or Alabama: Darwin’s Testing Ground. For our pals in Massachusetts, we present our Official State Motto finalists:
Even Ted can get a Lass.....When he comes to Mass
(He just has trouble getting her home)
Massachusetts - Don't Laugh, or We'll Sic the Salem Witches on You
Mass Kicks Ass!
A Great Place to Get Scrod
Without Us, McGovern Wouldn't Have Won Anything.
Don't Bother Us -- We've Got A Haddock
Ass and Class…That’s Mass!
We’re Not New Hampshire
Nobody Loves You, But We’ve Got Beer
For cod and country
Floundering for nearly four centuries now
Home of That Other Clam Chowder (note: I grew up in Manhattan)
Rum, Romanism and Rebellion: It's not just for breakfast anymore
Home of Springfield: for when Cooperstown just won't do
Yankees without Steinbrenner
Massachusetts: Keeping Connecticut away from Vermont for over 300 years
Massachusetts: proud home of free speech for a whole bunch of decades now
No Chowdah for you!
Chappabigdig
Make Massachusetts your second 'home', just like Mitt Romney did!
Massachusetts-where you can find a CVS, Dunkin Donuts, and Starbucks on every corner!
"Massachusetts---Gary's dad pronounces it "Massatusetts"
Visit Massachusetts. It's not Mississippi.
Mass-achhoooo--setts. It's nothing to sneeze at
Massachusetts: When you live here, you learn how to spell at least one really hard word correctly.
Massachusetts: the only state Texans hate worse than California!
Massachusetts, Gateway to Moby Dick
Massachusetts - the state George W Bush thinks has a whole lot of chusetts in it
Massachusetts: Wellesley Coeds!
Massachusetts: We're not Puritans anymore.
Massachusetts: It's easy to get to the Indian casinos in Connecticut from here.
…and our winner:
Massachusetts: Don't Blame Us We Voted for Gore
Officials from the state may email me as to where to send the $300,000 check and I will forward it to the lucky winner minus the cost of my foosball table….and maybe that Thunderbirds DVD set that I’ve had my eye on…
posted by tbogg at 9:58 PM
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First things first
If you are having trouble finding Eschaton, try here,
posted by tbogg at 9:14 PM
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Saturday, October 19, 2002
Look! Up in the sky!
As I mentioned in a previous post, I am currently reading Comic Book Nation: The Transformation of Youth Culture in America. As author Bradford Wright points out, it was Superman comics that really began the comic book revolution. What I didn't know, was that Superman was such a ...liberal. The following snippets are about Superman comics written in 1939.
From the book:
The young creators cast their superhero as a "champion of the oppressed...devoted to helping those in need!" In his initial episode, Superman saves a falsely accused prisoner from a lynch mob, produces evidence that frees an innocent woman on death row, and defends a woman about to be beaten by her husband. In the second issue of Action Comics, Superman crushes a conspiracy involving a U.S. senator, a lobbyist, and a munitions manufacturer who wish to embroil the United States in a foreign war. He then ends the fraudulent Latin American war by informing them that they have been manipulated by greedy American industrialists. Echoing the Nye Committee's conclusion that "merchants of death" had conspired to involve the United States in the Great War, Superman warns that moneyed self-interest remained a menace to the national welfare.
snip
Other Superman stories explore the conflict between corporate greed and the public welfare. One finds Superman crushing a plot by wealthy American financiers working for a foreign power to manipulate the stock exchange and plunge the nation into another depression. His mission accomplished, Superman assures readers that "the nation is once again returning to its march toward prosperity!"
snip
In another story, Superman encounters a pair of wealthy and murderous stockbrokers who sell worthless stocks to hundreds of clients, some of whom commit suicide after losing their life savings. Superman, not content to simply turn the crooks over to the police, first devises a complex scheme to swindle them out of all of their cash and investments so that they must endure the humiliating poverty that they inflicted on others. Once the brokers are themselves broke, Superman delights in their misery and advises them to stop selling stock and start selling shoelaces instead.
snip
Superman's America was something of a paradox- a land where the virtue of the poor and the weak towered over that of the wealthy and powerful. Yet the common man could not expect to prevail on his own in this America, and neither could the progressive reformers who tried to fight for justice within the system. Only the righteous violence of Superman, it seemed, could relieve deep social problems--a tacit recognition that in American society it took some might to make right after all.
end
Pretty interesting reading. Sure is a good thing that all of that bad stuff that Superman fought against is all behind us now...
posted by tbogg at 5:10 PM
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Inconsistency is the hobgoblin of a stunted mind
Joe Sabria, who is in his ninth year at Cornell as a student, wants to welcome gays to the Republican party. Because, you know, the Republican party is all accepting and stuff, when it comes to gays.
Except when they're not.
To understand how Joe "College" Sabria can make these amazing leaps, one need only look at who his heroes are, which contains all we need to know about Joe:
Contrary to liberals' assertions, Coulter's book is not an indictment of invective, nor is it a call for a "new tone" in Washington. In fact, Coulter is the antithesis of a "new tone" conservative. She says exactly what she thinks and does not hold back one iota. When she famously wrote of Arabs dancing in the street on 911, "we should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity," she meant each and every word (and she was exactly right on all counts).
With so many years in academia, Joe recently took it upon himself to counsel some up-and-coming college Republicans on the finer points of being a college conservative:
I have some news for you - acting like an uncivilized savage does not mean that you have joined the great battle against political correctness. In order to be able to intelligently argue you must know what you are talking about. You must become well versed in political thought. For some of you, that means reading John Locke, John Stuart Mill, and the Federalist Papers. For others, that means watching Bill O'Reilly, listening to Rush Limbaugh, and reading Ayn Rand's novels. Still others may look to Milton Freidman, Frederick Hayek, and Walter Williams. Whatever you choose, you must have some idea what you are talking about.
Personally, I can't wait to see what he becomes when he grows up...
posted by tbogg at 4:33 PM
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This is probably a bad time for Harvey to ask for that raise again...
Harvey Pitt may be taking a second job real soon. Not only didn't he get his raise, but Bush stiffed him and crawddaded back on the money he promised to the SEC.
Less than three months ago, President Bush signed with great fanfare sweeping corporate antifraud legislation that called for a huge increase in the budget of the Securities and Exchange Commission to police corporate America and clean up Wall Street.
Now the White House is backing off the budget provision and urging Congress to provide the agency with 27 percent less money than the new law authorized.
snip
Under the corporate clean-up legislation, the commission's budget — which for years has barely kept up with inflation, let alone the steep rise in stock ownership — was authorized to increase by 77 percent, to $776 million. But as Congress wrestles with the spending measures that actually appropriate money to federal agencies, the White House is requesting $568 million for the S.E.C., officials said, or an increase of about 30 percent over last year's budget of $438 million.
Now, if we remember our current history, we have been told recently by thge administration that the war in Iraq (wghich Bush hasn't made up his mind on yet...snerk) is going to cost about a $200 billion dollars. So, if we like, you know, invaded Iraq a couple of days later, do you this we could throw some of that money the SEC's way? I didn't think so...
Getting back to Harvey and his request for more money, I can't let pass a couple of great lines from the linked article:
Harvey Pitt, the embattled chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, was acting on his own in asking Congress for a promotion and a raise, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer said Wednesday. ...
Pitt, who chaired an SEC meeting Wednesday, did not mention the request and refused to answer questions from reporters afterward.
SEC spokeswoman Christi Harlan defended Pitt's request to lawmakers.
"It was an informal suggestion to the conference on behalf of the agency, to raise its profile to help investor confidence and to attract the most qualified accountants, lawyers and economists," she said. "It had nothing to do with the chairman."
Pitt's lobbying efforts to elevate the SEC to full Cabinet status and to raise the chairman's salary from the present $138,200 to $166,700 was first reported in Wednesday's editions of The New York Times.
Then there is the always reliable Ari Fleischer:
"The president is focused on the strengthening of the SEC's structure and ability to fight fraud," Fleischer said. "That's where his focus is at. He's not focused on that issue"
Anyone want to take a guess what was on Ari's Word of the Day calendar?
Rittenhouse does a much better job on this than me.
posted by tbogg at 4:10 PM
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Freeper Poltical Science 101
Lesson #3: In order to win people over to your side, you need to present an effective and logical argument. The voter must respect your reasoned point of view and wish to join you in it.
posted by tbogg at 3:19 PM
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Friday, October 18, 2002
...and one last thing...
I would be remiss if I didn't point everyone in the direction of David Ehrensteins's blog and his piece on the new film version of The Quiet American. This is one of my favorite Graham Greene books and I'm really looking forward to seeing it, particularly based on David's recommendation.
Read the book if you haven't, as well as Ward Just's A Dangerous Friend.
posted by tbogg at 9:57 PM
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...as if you didn't already see this over at Eschaton...
Sysiphus Shrugged has this up, and it's very important. It's all well and good to sit around on our blogs bitching and complaining about the state of the USA during these dark (Bush) days, but the time has come to get off your ass and do something about it. MoveOn, which should get consideration for the next Nobel Peace Prize (if it's okay with that dick, Michael Kelly, the potato-headed bastard) is helping to organize volunteers to help in important races throughout the country. You can't complain about what Bush is doing to the country unless you go out and fight back.
If you miss the good old Clinton days of peace, prosperity, environmental protection, and sultry illicit blow jobs, this is a way to reclaim them.
Remember: nothing is over until we say it's over.....
I'll be back posting on Sunday night. Remember to send in your Massachusetts Tourist slogans. The fate of New England rests in your hands...
posted by tbogg at 9:47 PM
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Mama, take this badge off of me. I can't use it anymore.
"For the first time in probably a decade, Congress has
left town before an election without going on a spending spree using
taxpayers' money. ... There's a new sheriff in town, and he's dedicated to
fiscal discipline. And Congress for the first time in a decade has
listened to the new sheriff." -- White House spokesman Ari FLEISCHER.
Sheriff Bunnypants
There was no mention as to whether the assembled press broke out in hysterical laughter.
posted by tbogg at 1:40 PM
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Our legal system in action
I picked this up from Altercation today.
Today is a big day. For the first time since the arrests of the six nearly a month ago, the judge is going to make an important ruling, on the bail question. An unusual amount of drama has surrounded this decision, usually a formality in criminal proceedings; many felony trials in this city would already have been finished in less time than this.
Fascinating and brilliant.
posted by tbogg at 1:17 PM
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Andy does Orwell
Whoa Andy! Let's look at yesterday:
WORDS TO REMEMBER: "North Korea cannot be allowed to develop a nuclear bomb. We have to be very firm about it." - Bill Clinton, "Meet the Press," Nov. 7, 1993. Yet another lie; yet another betrayal. [my underlining]
Now, Andy today:
WORDS TO REMEMBER: "North Korea cannot be allowed to develop a nuclear bomb. We have to be very firm about it." - Bill Clinton, "Meet the Press," Nov. 7, 1993.
We have always been at war with......
posted by tbogg at 9:28 AM
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I want to wear sandals, I want to go shopping...
So...let's go shopping.
On the second thought, let's not...
I hear Jenna already has a set of these and these.
posted by tbogg at 8:52 AM
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More Friday fun
Disclaimer: I don't recommend this one for the office, so save it for the privacy of your own home. It's not really bad, but it is sexist. WARNING: it comes with sound.
Whoose boobs?
If you think you might be offended don't go there. Go here instead.
posted by tbogg at 8:34 AM
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Paul Krugman
... has a few things to say about Charles Grassley, Hitler, and Bush.
You see, some folks must be under the impression that as long as something is repeated often enough, it will become true. That was how George W. Bush got to the top.
How come the two best political writers in the country are an economist and a former drama critic?
posted by tbogg at 8:23 AM
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Thursday, October 17, 2002
Noonan does the Pope..okay..not really...but if he were a fireman, all bets would be off
I'm not quite sure how to handle the lovely Peggy this week, and right now Paul Gigot is probably saying the same thing. I can only imagine the look on his face when the Pegster turned this in.
Now I am what is generally called a "lapsed Catholic", which is a pleasant way of saying, when company is around, that my faith is deader than Bob Dole's dick. I don't harbor any malice towards the Catholic Church, I just tend to ignore it as much as I can, regardless of the headlines and the fact that those lunatics at Opus Dei are infiltrating the government. Because of that, it is hard for me to say much about Peggy's column this week (not that that will stop me...but I'll be brief).
Her column reminds me of what I left behind in the church as well as why I don't miss it. I never was much into the cult of personality that surrounds the Pope du jour, all of whom have struck me a sort of uber-priests no better than the local monsignor. I guess Catholic school failed me in that way, among oh so many others. So when I read something by someone as Pope-smacked as Noonan, I am at as much at a loss to understand it as I am to understand people who want to learn to speak Klingon. It's easy to dismiss the obsessed particularly if it's not your cup of obsession, but you can't deny their existence or their right to be obsessed. If they harm no one, let them be (which is about as close to being Libertarian as I will ever get...and if you're a Libertarian, don't email me...you're the Amway of political parties). For some, like Peggy, religion can be a good thing. But for the Fred Phelps, Osama bin Ladens, Antonin Scalias, and Judge Roy Moores it can become a misused bludgeon of power.
So with that, I think that we should leave Peggy Noonan with what little peace she has in the Pope, the Birth, the Resurrection, the rosary (in whatever form), and God. She's a believer, and that's all right with me. It seems like Ritalin for her soul.
But if she starts up on Elian's god-sent dolphins again, her ass is mine...
posted by tbogg at 10:04 PM
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Digby Does Dubya
The ubiquitous Digby who really should have his own blog because-he's-better-than-all-of-us-put-together manages to cut to the chase on the North Korea issue and how President Fool Me Once put one over on Congress. Compliments of Eschaton.
All I can add to the situation in North Korea is, if they had oil, bombs would already be dropping.
posted by tbogg at 9:02 PM
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In dog years she would have been 98, which is actually pretty old
Richard Gardner of Nevada isn't exactly a Republican dream candidate:
Republican Assembly candidate Richard Gardner is not eligible to vote due to a felony conviction, and thus, cannot win his race for Assembly District 14, Clark County officials said Friday.
Gardner said it is all a mistake and he never had his right to vote removed after he was convicted in California 15 years ago on a felony sex crime for lewd and lascivious behavior with a child under the age of 14.
But he has good news:
"I had a problem," Gardner said. He said he sought counseling at church, but the bishop said it was against the law.
"And on my own, without being caught or anything else, I turned myself in," Gardner said. "I called them and told them what the difficulty was and everything went downhill from there. I was never arrested."
Now, Richard, or should we call him Dick, thinks he should still be able to vote and hold office. Call me old-fashioned, but having sex with a minor qualifies you to be the King of Pop, not to be an Assemblyman. Even from Vegas.
posted by tbogg at 8:30 PM
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Well, you see, we got all caught up in American Idol, then there was that Jackass marathon on MTV...
Looks like someone hasn't been doing their homework...:
WASHINGTON –– Government attorneys admitted Thursday they haven't completely reviewed documents from Vice President Dick Cheney's energy task force, despite claiming that they "all involve sensitive communications between and among the president and his closest advisers" that should be kept secret.
U.S. District Court Judge Emmet Sullivan ordered task force documents to be made public by Nov. 5 and said he was shocked the Justice Department attorneys had not examined all the documents after asserting for more than a year that each of them involved confidential information.
"That is a startling revelation," Sullivan said, after rejecting the Bush administration's claim that he lacks authority to order the release of the task force papers.
For clarity's sake:
~They said that the papers had "sensitive communications" between President Harken, Vice President Halliburton and their "advisors".
BUT
~They actually hadn't read them
MEANING
~They lied.
Aren't there laws against that?
Never mind. They're Crisco John's boys, They make law, they don't follow it.
posted by tbogg at 8:04 PM
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Oh! That's where the expression "numb-nuts' comes from...
A condom that contains an anaesthetic to prolong lovemaking has smashed all sales records, its manufacturers say.
Sales will not be allowed in Italy because, you know, the women will have to cook sometime...
posted by tbogg at 7:01 PM
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Shot in the ass and you're to blame, you give guns a bad name...
NRA Dad of the Year candidate, Robert Schlabach, 44, of Fort Lupton,CO. taught his son an important lesson, the hard way.
Robert Schlabach, 44, of Fort Lupton was hunting with his son and a half-dozen other people in Big Red Park on Monday evening. He had placed the high-powered rifle on a cot at their campsite when Schlabach's son sat down on it.
Schlabach attempted to remove the rifle from beneath the boy when he accidentally pulled the trigger. The boy suffered a gunshot wound to the buttocks
And remember:
Warner cautioned hunters to always handle firearms as though the weapons were loaded
posted by tbogg at 6:58 PM
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Another contest.....wheeeee!!!!
Jeepers, the Name that War contest was such a hit, I thought I'd try another one.
The state of Massachusetts is trying to come up with a new advertising slogan. Now I don't live in Massachusetts but I like any state that gave us Barney Frank and Legal Seafood, so I thought we could all help out. Anything has got to be better than ``Massachusetts . . . Make it Yours''. The following slogans have already been passed over:
Get Your Ass To Mass. (apparently the Boston Diocese owns that one...but it's on hiatus)
Catch a Falling Kennedy!
The Big Dig...It's Really.... Big
The Other Thing That's Between Buckner's Legs
Home of the Wappah
and
Baked Beans...and Senators, too!
Anyway, email your suggestions and I'll put up the good ones Sunday night, if I'm not too sleepy.
posted by tbogg at 12:36 PM
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I can't (cough) come in to work today, I'm (cough) not feeling (cough) too good. BANG! Got'em!
Good work from Andy X:
Always enjoy your blog. Always hated jocks who are in politics, so I enjoyed reading about your take on the Oklahoma race and the usual GOP hypocrisy of Steve Largent. Something struck me though, he was hunting in Idaho on September 11??? Wasn't the House in session then? I thought it was, so I when to the legislative calendar on Thomas and sure enough, Congress took it's summer break from Aug 3 to Sept 5, 2001, returning to session on Thursday Sept 6 (gotta give those late starters a few extra days after Labor Day!) and was definitely in session the following week, during which Largent was off hunting in Idaho, rather than doing the "people's bidness"in Washington.Geeze, the guy had just had over a month off - shades of GW Bush - and here he is playing hookey going off hunting once things start up again. I wonder if anybody in Oklahoma noticed or cares.
posted by tbogg at 11:53 AM
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"You like kids? Me too! Can I buy you a Jagermeister?"
Former father, and current Christian-singles sleaze-bag, Rusty Yates is getting on with his life. Some choice tidbits:
Attorneys for Andrea Yates, the Houston woman who drowned her five children, can now proceed with her appeal. An anonymous donor last week agreed to pay the roughly $50,000 cost of preparing a transcript of her trial—the first step in launching her appeal.
ATTORNEY GEORGE PARNHAM wouldn’t identify the donor. But Debbie Holmes, a close friend of Yates’s, questioned why Rusty Yates couldn’t come up with the cash himself to help free his wife. She noted that he recently moved out of the family home into a nearby luxury-apartment complex that boasts a stocked fishing pond, white-sand beach, resort-style pool with cabana and gym. One-bedroom units in the pink Mediterranean-style complex rent for nearly $1,000 a month.
Rusty made his wife and 5 children live in a converted Greyhound bus during his old "ball and chain" days. Which leads to this:
For his part, the NASA shuttle engineer told NEWSWEEK that he moved out of the house where his children died because he wanted to simplify his life. “I don’t want to spend my time cutting tree limbs,” he says. As for the appeal, which he gives only a 30 percent chance of success, Rusty says he’s paid all he’s going to pay. “What I spend on food and lodging is nothing compared to what I’ve paid in legal expenses,” he says. “I’ve lost money in this, not made it. I’ve given all that I want to give.” His pastor, the Rev. Byron Fike, says he remains involved in the church: playing basketball, attending men’s prayer sessions and becoming involved in the singles group.
“Being apart from Andrea has been an extreme struggle,” he says, adding that he is allowed to hug her only once a month. “Andrea and I need to sit down and work out where we’re going from here.”
Andrea Yates sits in a cell while Rusty Yates ponders which is better 'seduction' music: Enya or Jars of Clay.
(Side-note: What kind of singles complex has a "stocked fishing pond"? Oh wait...we're talkin' Texas here, aren't we?)
posted by tbogg at 11:17 AM
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From the Dian Fossey Logbook...
Noelle Bush, who has been caught twice with drugs, including crack, while in rehab received ten days in jail.
Ten days.
So what do the law & order types over at freerepublic think?:
For whatever it is worth - the judge was black
Probably was waiting for years to "Stick it to Whitey"
32 posted on 10/17/02 8:21 AM Pacific by TexanAmerican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies ]
posted by tbogg at 10:00 AM
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Because they don't have C-SPAN in Norway...
Lecturer Trond Andresen of the Norwegian Institute of Technology in Trondheim accuses the media of discriminating against the ugly and emphasizing beautiful people whenever possible. Andresen wants higher ugly quotas on television.
"Ugly people should be spotlighted in the media in the same way that the media wishes to emphasize persons from ethnic minorities," Andresen, a lecture at the Department of Engineering Cybernetics, said to newspaper Bergens Tidende
posted by tbogg at 8:14 AM
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Step one: Admit you have a problem...Step two: Score some crack
Down in Florida, Judge Whitehead thinks Noelle is doing just dandy:
Whitehead told Bush he was sending her to jail because he was aware allegations that she was found with crack cocaine in her shoe while at the treatment center.
Bush's attorney had asked for leniency.
"I would ask on Noelle's behalf that the sanctions imposed be in the mildest form," Peter Antonacci said. "Although these are serious allegations, we know that she has passed all of her tests."
Whitehead told Bush that he was disappointed in her but he added he believed she could complete drug treatment successfully and was allowing her to stay in the program.
posted by tbogg at 7:57 AM
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Wednesday, October 16, 2002
He only comes out at night
Every night, just when I'm ready to go to bed, I end up checking on Sullivan, which is my equivalent of checking for monsters under the bed. He never fails to disappoint:
SONTAG AWARD NOMINEE: "When asked by worried friends and acquaintances whether the President was borrowing his geopolitical theory from the diaries of Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler, I assured them that the President didn’t have the patience to read more than two or three pages of a Tom Clancy novel." - Lewis Lapham, editor of Harper's, in the print edition of the October issue (discovered by the More Than Zero blog.)
Now, as I understand the "Sontag Award" it is in reference to putative "anti-Americanism" such as blaming the US for for provoking 9/11, ad nauseum. As I read Lapham's comments, he appears to be criticizing President Coloring Book for his lack of intellectual depth as well as his abbreviated attention span. So it would now seem that Andy has taken the great leap forward and equates criticism of Bush with criticism of America. After all, what's good for President Chimpy is good for the USA...
Next:
HE LINKED! It turns out Jim Romenesko actually linked to a piece criticizing the newly leftward spin of the New York Times. I under-estimated him. Let me know the next time he does, will you?
Here's a better idea, Andrew. How about doing a little work and actually checking Romenesko out yourself instead of sitting on your ass whilst talking out of it, you lazy Tory slacker...
posted by tbogg at 10:04 PM
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If he were here (which he's not) he would say (which he didn't)...
Uber-Christian and former football player Steve Largent, Republican nominee for governor in Oklahoma got a bit testy the other night on TV and uttered a "vulgaritry".
OKLAHOMA CITY - Steve Largent, Republican nominee for governor, used a vulgarism during a television interview and one of his opponents quickly aired a commercial criticizing him for it.
Largent called a question about his whereabouts during the Sept. 11 attacks "bull...." during a taped interview broadcast Sunday night at KOKH, the local Fox affiliate. The word was bleeped. He later issued an apology.
Largent, a football star turned politician who resigned from Congress to run for governor this year, was hunting in Idaho on Sept. 11, 2001. He didn't learn of the attacks until he emerged from the woods Sept. 13, but in his absence, his staff issued a statement indicating his reaction even though staffers were not in contact with him.
Largent did not like a question about that and other inquiries from KOKH anchor Andrew Speno, and said the discussion should center on the issues.
"That's not policy, that's bull..., all this stuff about where were you on 9-11," he said.
Now, far be it for me to go all Michael-Medved on him about using bad language ("You talk to God with that mouth, boy?"), but I was intrigued by another part from above:
...but in his absence, his staff issued a statement indicating his reaction even though staffers were not in contact with him
"Congressman Largent is deeply saddened by this horrific event"
"If Congressman Largent were here, we bet he would be horrified and saddened by this event"
"We can't reach Congressman Largent but we have put in a call to God who speaks to him daily, so we should hear from him soon"
"Congressman Largent checked in with us and we tried to tell him about this heinous attack on America, but he was so excited about an eight-point buck that he dropped with a lung shot, that he didn't hear a word we said. But we're sure he was saddened by it. The attack. Not the deer. He was pretty excited about that."
posted by tbogg at 9:31 PM
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Just call him Dick Ch-ch-ch-cheneybomb
It takes a Runaways reference to get to this story.
posted by tbogg at 8:37 PM
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Can I leave a deposit and give you the balance later?
Call me an old fashioned romantic, but you count me among about 15 million men in America who would like to date this woman in San Francisco.
posted by tbogg at 8:30 PM
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Is anyone suprised this happened in Texas?
Man hit while chasing half-full beer can across freeway
Tomorrow at the White House, George Bush will see this and be relieved that it was a man and not a certain coed.
posted by tbogg at 8:26 PM
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Spinsanity takes us for a spin
As pointed out over at Ruminate This:
I'm very often on the Spinsanity "side" when they argue against the regular flow of media distortion and lie, but not today. In his piece entitled Congressman says opponents want to protect murderers, Ben Fritz takes issue with Rep. Jim Moran (D-VA) who recently suggested on CNN's Inside Politics, that those who oppose ballistic fingerprinting seek to protect murderers. Sure, Moran's comment is inflammatory to anyone who labors, Come Hell or High Water to protect the interests of the gun lobby. This doesn't surprise me - it's an expected reaction. But, the end result of their irrational insistence on gun anonymity, is a police force unable to effectively investigate crime. What we end up with is a simple truth: criminals are shielded by irresponsible NRA policies.
I found this very intriguing so I popped on over to Spinsanity to find this:
In his statement above, Moran is clearly suggesting that opponents of ballistic fingerprinting, which can match a bullet to the gun that fired it, want to protect the sniper or other murderers. This is, of course, absurd and untrue. As White House spokesman Ari Fleischer pointed out today during a press briefing, a variety of concerns have been raised about the accuracy and reliability of such a system, as well as concerns for gun owners’ privacy.
Which is, of course, a load of crap straight from the NRA's fax machine (still no mention of that sniper, though). The White House's concern about "accuracy and reliability" is in the same vein of their "concern" about global warming, which is, "it's not our agenda or the agenda of those who put us in office, but we're really really really concerned and we'll look into it...never".
While Spinsanity continues to niggle the fine points of debate, the fact remains that people are dying.
Spin that.
posted by tbogg at 12:47 PM
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A humble "thank you" for speaking with one voice
Breaking White House tradition, President George W. Bush presented all 373 lawmakers, who approved his War Resolution, with commemorative t-shirts this morning to mark the historic occasion of their abdication of Congressional responsibility.
posted by tbogg at 11:12 AM
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Who's telling the truth, Bush or the CIA, and can I have a third choice?
David Corn over at the Nation has some interesting things to say:
Can George W. Bush be trusted as he further heats up the rhetoric on Iraq?
Two days after a horrific bomb blast in Bali, Indonesia, killed over 180 people--including at least two Americans--Bush, appearing at a Republican campaign rally in Michigan, cited the assault as yet another reason for vigorous prosecution of the war on terrorism. But as he rallied the GOP loyalists, he focused less on al Qaeda (which, naturally, is suspected of being associated with the Bali attack) and more on Saddam Hussein. Bush maintained that the Iraqi dictator hopes to deploy al Qaeda as his own "forward army" against the West, that "we need to think about Saddam Hussein using al Qaeda to do his dirty work, to not leave fingerprints behind," and that "this is a man who we know has had connections with al Qaeda."
Bush and his administration have offered no proof of any of this. In fact, less than a week before the Michigan event, the CIA had released a letter noting that it had no evidence that Saddam intends to commit terrorism against the United States, absent a US strike against him. (Did the President miss the newspapers that day?) The Agency's conclusion is hardly consistent with Bush's claim that Saddam is actively engaged in turning Osama bin Laden's terrorist network into his own private force. And while the CIA, in that same letter, noted--vaguely--that it possesses "solid reporting of senior level contacts between Iraq and al Qaeda going back a decade," that, too, is a far cry from Bush's assertion that Saddam has had direct ties with al Qaeda. [For more on the CIA letter, click on the link for the previous column at the end of this posting.]
Why doesn't Bush make it easy for himself?
snip
So why doesn't Bush? The obvious answer is, he can't. And the public should not fall for any attempt on the administration's part to play the if-you-only-knew-what-we-know card. The CIA has already presented the best case it can make (or manufacture) out of the classified evidence available to it. Moreover, as The Los Angeles Times, reported a few days ago, those CIA conclusions where produced in an environment in which "senior Bush administration officials are pressuring CIA analysts to tailor their assessments of the Iraqi threat to help build a case against Saddam Hussein.
snip
It's like Scrabble. If no one challenges Bush's words--false they may be--they still count as if they were real
Read the article...then email it to your friends.
posted by tbogg at 10:56 AM
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Bush to cut ribbon on Operation Inigo Montoya, Lieberman hands him the scissors
WASHINGTON –– President Bush is looking to prod the United Nations to declare resolve on Iraq as he formally accepts Congress' go-ahead for military action against Saddam Hussein.
Bush summoned about 100 supportive lawmakers to the White House to join him Wednesday as he signed into law the newly passed resolution authorizing the use of force. A senior administration official said Bush would use a speech at the East Room ceremony to press the U.N. to adopt a new resolution compelling Iraq to submit to unconditional weapons inspections.
The president's message came on a day when the U.N. Security Council is holding its first day of open debate on Iraq at the behest of the dozens of non-Security Council nations who oppose an attack on Baghdad. The debate is mostly designed to take the administration to task on its Iraq policies, and White House officials expected sharp criticism throughout the day.
That resolution is like a dollar in Bush's pocket that he can't wait to spend. Not that President Bunnypants is anxious to go to war or anything. He's still mulling it over , because he doesn't want to do anything rash. So we'll just have to wait and see what he decides.
posted by tbogg at 8:42 AM
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Okay. Next Wednesday looks good. Now excuse me while I claw my eyes out...
Charities find nude calenders help pay the bills.
The groups range from female wool spinners who seek to confront "the ageism and size ism in our culture" to the Rotary Club in Brattleboro, Vt.
The Rotarians persuaded 53 men -- bankers, lawyers, real estate agents and physicians -- to appear mostly nude in its 2003 "Men of Brattleboro" calendar
Ew.
posted by tbogg at 7:56 AM
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I see Andy has been shopping at Duh? Depot
A blinding glimpse of the obvious:
I've been reluctant to say this till now, but it's my belief that what the D.C. sniper is now doing is terrorism. I don't mean he's a member of any specific group necessarily or even a person who might call himself a terrorist. I mean someone - a criminal - whose goal, whose purpose, is purely terror.
posted by tbogg at 7:50 AM
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Maybe it's because Bush can't pronounce "ballistic"
Before the selection, the NRA said they would have an office in the White House. Self Made Pundit shows us they weren't kidding.
posted by tbogg at 7:43 AM
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Tuesday, October 15, 2002
Like Dahmer giving tips on vegetarianism
War lover Michael Kelly thinks George and George W. both should get the Nobel Peace Prize. No. Really.
Of course, it's impossible to lift up the Bush boys without knocking someone else down.
And in these terms, what, exactly, has Carter done? His great achievement as president, in this regard, was to broker a peace agreement in 1979 between Egypt and Israel. This was a good thing, but it did not -- 617 Israelis dead these past two years, 1,909 Palestinians -- actually result in peace.
As an ex-president perpetually and self-proclaimedly in the pursuit of peace, Carter has put in more amiable sofa time with more despots than anyone except perhaps Kofi Annan (who, come to think of it, was last year's peace prize winner). But what has he actually achieved -- as measured in concrete terms, such as the downfall of tyrannies, the liberation of peoples, actual victories over war and war's fruit, subjugation? Very little. (See wretched, oppressed, dictator-ruled Haiti before Carter's 1994 peace mission; see wretched, oppressed, dictator-ruled Haiti today.)
The fact that Carter got Egypt and Israel together was unheard of at the time, an enormous step. And that Habitat for Humanity thing? Not "Pax-Americana-big-picture" enough for Mikey. You see, Kelly prefers his peace to come from war:
The first President Bush marshaled an army that reversed the gains of an illegal war and liberated 2 million people from a spectacularly vicious foreign occupation. This was not a small or ambivalent or symbolic accomplishment. One day, occupied Kuwait was a place of grand-scale, state-sanctioned murder, rape, torture and theft. The next day it was not; it was, again, a country at peace. The sole reason for this peace was the war brought by the American president.
The fact that we are about to go to war with Iraq again, seems lost on Kelly. Turmoil in the Middle East for Carter (thirty years later) = failure. Turmoil in Iraq for both Bush (eleven years later) = success! Where's my trophy?
Kelly then finishes by throwing in a healthy dollop of hairy-chest-beating, ugly-americanism about all of the wars that American has won to free people the world over.
Wars, by the way, that Kelly had no part in.
Go team.
posted by tbogg at 10:37 PM
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All the news that doesn't embarass us
Thought I would check in with my good buddies over at the NRA to see what they make of this guy exercising his second amendment rights in their neck of the woods.
As a public service the NRA has a Top Headlines section that currently lists:
• Attacks prove urgency of war
• Al Qaeda active in Indonesia
• U.S. 'in the dark' on bin Laden note
• Pakistan coalition wants U.S. out
• 'Alive' Crash Survivors Win Reunion Rugby Match
Hmmm. Iraq, Indonesia, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and cannibalism. Nope. Nothing about the sniper. You would think they would be, at least, mildly interested, but I guess not. Maybe someone should call Wayne LaPierre...
posted by tbogg at 9:35 PM
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Dude. I wish we still had some of those berries...I've got, like, the major munchies...
Alaskan youth trade berries for pot.
It was unlike anything the village of Emmonak had ever experienced: All over town salmon berries, blackberries and blueberries were disappearing from freezers.
"We knew something fishy was happening," said resident Darlene Andrews.
It's good to know that you can't slip anything by the very alert Darlene Andrews.
posted by tbogg at 8:10 PM
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More news from Pravda, comrade
This is what happens when you don't have the right to arm bears.
Bears push rocks down from mountains to kill people
The road between the two Russian resort cities Adler and Krasnaya Polyana is becoming more and more dangerous for drivers and passengers. Piles of rocks tumble down upon people’s heads. Dozens of people have already suffered, and several of them died. Law-enforcement bodies blame road services for this.
posted by tbogg at 8:01 PM
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Who I did on my summer vacation...
Apparently there are some really old laws still on the books in Georgia:
The Georgia Supreme Court this afternoon hears a challenge to the state fornication law, which makes it a crime for a person to have sexual intercourse outside of wedlock.
The appeal is being filed by lawyers of a 16-year-old boy who was found having sex with his girlfriend. The girl's mother found the two in her Fayette County home. The boy, identified in court papers as J.M., was sentenced in Juvenile Court to pay a fine and write an essay.
Essay begins:
I am a junior at a small high school in Fayette County and I never thought this would happen to me.....
posted by tbogg at 7:57 PM
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Dennis Miller joins Chachi in the unemployment line
Remember Dennis Miller? The frighteningly awkward Monday Night Football commentator whose best days were back when SNL was still vaguely funny? With a routine that has gotten as stale as last year's watermelon-sledging stand-up, he's still getting a bit of work.
Mr. Rant is really on the warpath this time.
No warm-up, no coaxing, no setups. And no whining about losing both of his TV jobs — with HBO and "Monday Night Football" — in the same year. Dennis Miller comes out swinging.
He's coming to Seattle to rip U.S. Rep. Jim McDermott a new one, he promises on the phone from his Los Angeles home one recent morning.
"What do you think? Do you think going to the capital city of your enemy and calling your president a liar is a good move? Is that how liberal it's gotten up there?"
snip
None of that means that his viewpoints are mellowing. Ask him about Iraq. He's got this one in the chamber:
"I think we should invade tomorrow. I think we should put it on Pay Per View and sell bobble-head dolls. And you know something? I would make our demands on Hussein really incredibly specific. I'd say, 'Listen, pal, I want you to shave the left side of your mustache and I want you to go on Al Jazeera TV next week and dance like Kevin Bacon at the end of 'Footloose,' or we're coming in."
Not that the situation would be any better if Al Gore were president. Although he's no conservative, Miller detests Gore.
"If he was in there right now, this would be more hysterical than a drag queen returning a pair of shoes without a receipt."
Um. yeah.
If you can't make it as a ranter doing schtick with Bush, Ashcroft, and Rummy in office, it's retirement time, Chachi. Make room on Hollywood Squares 2003. Bottom corner. On the right.
(thanks to Steve for this catch)
posted by tbogg at 1:42 PM
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One more link worth reading
Rittenhouse Review does a terrific job on a recent David Brooks article in The Weekly Standard. Can just one neo-con get through just one article on the coming war and it's detractors without mentioning Noam Chomsky?
I didn't think so.
posted by tbogg at 10:39 AM
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Ruminate This
...has a nice take on Instapundit's intsa-jumping to to insta-conclusions. Well written, as usual.
posted by tbogg at 10:05 AM
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Visit No More Mr Nice Blog
Take the David Duke/Ann Coulter challenge.
posted by tbogg at 9:44 AM
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Another reason why it's worth it to suscribe to to Top Five
If you don't already have a subscription to Top Five...well, you should. It is consistently funny and a showcase for some of the really bright minds floating around out there.
Yesterday's list is a keeper:
The Top 12 Least Convincing Reasons to Start a War
12> We've got a buttload o' missiles about to go past their "use by" date.
11> Iraqis getting just a little too smug about having uninterrupted electricity for three months straight now.
10> There's nothing *else* worth watching on TV this season.
9> Their leader employed a weapon of mass destruction last time he visited, completely laying waste to a Camp David bathroom.
8> They're a bunch of dangerous, narrow-minded religious fanatics who totally refuse to embrace Jesus as their personal savior.
7> Peanut butter in our chocolate, chocolate in their peanut butter.
6> Our boys are gonna get blue balls if they don't set off some ordnance soon!
5> Midterm elections are approaching and I desperately need to distract the traumatized populace from a collapsing economy ravaged by my gross incompetence. Er, I mean, wooooooooo1! Look at the bogeyman!
4> Jenna's new boyfriend? Private First Class.
3> My god put too little oil under my country, and your god put too much under yours.
2> They're just not sophisticated enough to entrust with nucular weapons.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Least Convincing Reason to Start a War...
1> Just noticed: Them guys is Araby-lookin'!
Some extra's:
According to our intelligence offices in Guam, American Samoa and the US Virgin Islands, this aggressor plans to take over several small neighboring countries.
"Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You tried to kill my father. Prepare to die!"
Stabilizing the economy doesn't seem to be working out so well.
"He was all, 'Oh, yeah?' and I was all, 'Shut up!' and he was all, 'Make me.'"
Amway is in desperate need of new territories.
Dad had one.
Forgot to get secretary of defense anything for Columbus Day.
Rumsfeld keeps double-dog daring you to do it.
posted by tbogg at 9:37 AM
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Showing up for Dick
Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham made a rare public appearance in Michigan yesterday with President Bush at political fundraiser for Republican candidate Dick Posthumous, whose name is oh-so-ironic and almost as funny as Dick Armey.
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