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Sunday, February 29, 2004
Perky Happy Fuzzy Baby Bunnies for Bush: The culmination of your endeavors
Congratulations and thanks to all of those who submitted slogan suggestions for the Bush/Cheney campaign. The tbogg judging panel made up of...me, narrowed it down to the below entries for your enjoyment and arousal (if this kind of thing does that kind of thing for you, it being a strange world and all). To all of those that whose entries were not selected, remember : it's not that you lost...you just didn't win. And keep in mind that, even though you didn't win, you still go home with the same prize that the annointed few receive, which is bupkus. Special congratulations go out to Monica Witt and Bob Clayton who each had two! entries selected.
Our grand prize winner is actually a tie between S. Schultz and the mysteriously named "nowhack" for their submission:
Bush/Cheney: Five out of nine Supreme Court Justices agree!
..which I judged to have the requisite upbeat vibe for a downbeat country. Congratulations you two wacky kids. Now for the also-rans runners-up:
Bush & Cheney: Keeping America Terrorist-Free Since Sept. 12, 2001.
--Curt Marwitz
Bush 04: Let's have a Greater Depression!
--Sean Stone
Bush/Cheney: We Will Never Forget the Lessons of 9/11. Meanwhile, Keep Shopping.
-- John MacDonald
Bush in 2004: For Everyone Who Ever Wanted to One-Up Their Father
-- Nothing Productive
Bush - Strong enough for a man but made for a woman...No WAIT!!!
-- Scott Stansberry
Are You Better Off Now Than You Were Four Y...Uh, I Mean, Than You Were Two...Um, Make That Six Mon...Well, Look, You're Doing OK, Right?
-- Doug G.
Bush/Cheney '04: Or the gays, teachers, and terrorists win!
-- Eric Brewer
Just Like Reagan - Only Dumber and Meaner
-- Eugene Oregon
Bush 2004:Deeply disturbed by what gays are doing, ignorant of what he is doing.
–- Jake Jensen
"George W. Bush: Not his father's wimp."
–- bizutti
Bush/Cheney '04 - Not Completely a Fiasco!
–- Lo Ping Wong
America: because freedom is for Canadians.
–- August Pollack
Rainy Days Mean God is Crying for a Gay Marriage Banning Amendment
–- Monica Witt
A Car in Every Garage, A Chicken in Every Pot; A Manufacturing Job in Every MacDonald's
–- Monica Witt
BUSH: A Man, a plan, a codpiece
–- Mark G
America: Alabama Writ Large.
-- Dr. BDH
The Bush administration: Come for the pasty, rich white guys, stay for the second term queer bashing!
-- Generik Wilson
No Bush-No War … Know Bush-Know War
-- David Currie
Liberty, equality, justice -- yeah, we've heard of those."
-- Bob Clayton
"About our achievements ... Look! Queers!"
– Bob Clayton
Bush/Cheney: Because the truth just isn't as much fun.
–- Laura Lewis
"Bush/Cheney, Keeping Us Safe: Terrorists will not attack us and kill 2800 innocent people on our soil and destroy the WTC and smash the Pentagon more than once on OUR watch!"
–- Rogue Planet
Thanks all. And you can pick up your goody-bags from security....
posted by tbogg at 11:22 PM
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Busy counting his mammon...
According to Drudge (I know...):
A major no-show at tonight's Academy Awards in Hollywood will be Mel Gibson.
The Executive Producer of the program, Joe Roth, asked the filmmaker of PASSION OF THE CHRIST to present an award, knowing it would create unforgettable sparks.
The LA TIMES reports that Gibson let the offer expire because, Roth says, he was afraid of being booed.
His representatives said Gibson was too busy to attend because it was the movie's opening weekend.
Yeah. And he wouldn't want to be in Hollywood where all the entertainment media is covering the Oscars when he could be out promoting his film. Makes sense.
Now Jesus has to endure another ten minutes of getting his ass kicked because Mel sinned by lying.
A saviors job is never done...
posted by tbogg at 11:00 PM
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Then and now
Workman-like direction...check
Special effects driven action....check
Previously well known story......check
Turgid dialogue....check
Average acting in black and white defined roles...check
Yeah. Titanic and LOTR: The Return of the King have more than 11 Oscars in common.
As a director, Peter Jackson will never see another Best Director nomination ever again. Count on it.
posted by tbogg at 9:42 PM
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...the most stupid, vulgar, empty mind
Is it possible that George Orwell foresaw Ann Coulter? From 1984:
Katherine was a tall, fair-haired girl, very straight, with spendid movements. She had a bold aquiline face, a face one might have called noble until one discovered that there was as nearly as possible nothing behind it. Very early in their married life he had decided--though perhaps it was only that he knew her more intimately than he knew most people- that she had the most stupid, vulgar, empty mind that he had ever encountered. She had not a thought in her head that was not a slogan, and there was no imbecility, absolutely none, that she was not capable of swallowing if the Party handed it out to her. "The human sound track" he nicknamed her in his own mind.
Creepy, ain't it?
posted by tbogg at 3:29 PM
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Two cows walk into a bar...
Brad DeLong wants some new "Two cow" explanations. Classic examples:
A Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A Fascist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
From DeLong's blog:
You have two cows.
Your rich neighbor has ten thousand cows. In an election year, he gives two of those cows to his congressman. He gives two each to his senators, and each member of his family gives two cows to the president's re-election campaign.
The following April, the government comes and takes one of your cows, and gives it to your rich neighbor.
In February, your other cow dies because someone dumped industrial waste in the aquifer. You can't sue, though, because a "no lawsuits over dead cows" clause was recently added to an omnibus appropriations bill.
The state comes and asks for your cow, because it's budget is in shambles. You don't have any cows anymore. The state takes your house.
While walking to the homeless shelter, you notice your rich neighbor putting his cows in semi trucks. "Where are these cows going," you ask a driver.
"Can't say," he replies. "It's a matter of national security."
"Seriously?" you ask, incredulous.
"Nah, just joshin' you," he says. "These here are being shipped off to an overseas cow shelter. He's tired of giving his cows to the government." -J. Lydon
****
Richard Perle: You have two cows. One is wary of you because in the past you milked it too hard, and gave the other cow a stick. So you kill both cows. No more problem. -Murph the surf
Roy Edroso from alicublog has one on DeLong's blog that is a work of art. Go read all of them.
...as for me:
Ann Coulter: There are two cows. We should invade their pasture, steal their milk, and convert them to hamburger.
posted by tbogg at 3:08 PM
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Friday, February 27, 2004
Your own personal Jesus
If you're feeling all Jesus-y this weekend but aren't interested in a theological snuff film, may I recommend the terrific Jesus of Montreal or Cool Hand Luke?
posted by tbogg at 6:05 PM
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"We're also thinking about adding a wacky neighbor...maybe a ditzy lingerie model...that would work"
Told you so
DENNIS Miller is taking a two- week hiatus from his new CNBC talk show - which is being remade while he's gone.
"The main thing we're going to do differently is to have a studio audience," consulting producer Steve Friedman told The Post. "We're not doing the 'Tonight Show' - we want it more like a nightclub, and we're looking at an audience of around 100 people a day." Miller has, thus far, worked without a studio audience - relying only on laughs from his crew.
"Dennis' comedy is terrific, and it really helps if somebody is there to respond to it," Friedman said. "I love the crew, but that's not enough."
Those union guys...tough crowd, tough crowd...
posted by tbogg at 11:03 AM
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"Mummy, put on Poppin' Them Thangs. Frenulum and I are going to glare at the hos"
Well it's Friday, which means that NRO has inflicted America's Worst Mother™ on the world yet again and we see that Meghan has now chosen to inflict her children: Maisy, Cuthbert, Frenulum, and Pope Pius XIII on the surrounding downtown area.
When we last left Meghan and the kids, a lovely, if not overly pretentious, birthday party had gone horribly awry with a mob of sugar-crazed children assaulting Mr. Meghan like a slavering mob of starving tiny tot pit bulls, tearing and rending at his flesh with their small but razor-sharp primary teeth. Fortunately Meghan's baby's daddy was packing an aerosol can of Tot-B-Gone™ mace and was able to fight them off with only the loss of two fingers and a nipple. Realizing that he is no longer welcome to spend time in what used to be his home, he now lives in his office and bathes in the executive washroom sink. He doesn't miss the squalor of home.
Now that she has become a single mother with four children, Meghan decides that the best way to protect her family is to go, as she calls it, "gangsta gangsta". Donning their freshest bling bling and hoodies from the Sean John Garanimal collection they go for a ride:
Five minutes later, freshly be-socked, everyone is strapped in the car. Off we go to the pizza joint, I load the pies in beside Paris in the jump seat, and we proceed downtown. The noise inside the car is stupendous. I imagine pedestrians wincing as we drive by, thumping and pulsing, the way people do when a car goes by blasting hip-hop.
As you can see, all of the children are packing heat ("strapped") as they cruise downtown, eating pizza and blasting crunk by hip hop artist, Raffi:
Boom-boom, ain't it great to be.. crazy? Boom-boom, ain't it great to be.. crazy?"
Although, I believe it's actually spelt: cra-zee.
Anyway Meghan and the kids are out cruising down the street in their 6-4, jockin the freaks clocking the dough when they went to the park to get the scoop, knuckleheads out there cold shooting some hoops. Cuz the Gurdons n tha hood are always hard, you come talking that trash and they'll pull your card. Which is what they start thinking when Cuthbert sees that Howard "Ghostface Gov'ner" Dean from the Eastside Maple Boyz has been tagging in their hood:
"Mummy, when is someone going to rip down all these Howard Dean signs?" Molly asks. "Can we pull them down?"
But Meghan (or Meghan G, as she now likes to known) tells the kids to chill. There is a time and a place for everything:
Oh, no." I am in the midst of delivering a little homily about respecting other people's right to express their political enthusiasms, especially for the frothing governors of small New England states, when she interrupts.
In the back of the Dodge Caravan, strapped into his booster seat, Pope Pius XIII, bored as hell and wanting to get ill, pulls out his Tec-9 and stares at the unsuspecting people on the street, his gold tooth glinting in the winter sun...
Next week--the minivan drive by.
(Thanks for the assist from my boyz in NWA...peace out)
posted by tbogg at 10:42 AM
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Thursday, February 26, 2004
This, that, and the other thing...
My dad used to say that all the time. These are just some random things that don't deserve a post of their own:
•Today I received a American Library edition of de Tocqueville's Democracy In America in the mail. I've seen so many quotes from it over the years that I don't feel compelled to read it. I figure my daughter will get some use out of it someday. Frankly...it looks pretty boring. Don't tell her though...
•Speaking of whom (my daughter, not de Tocqueville), Casey started high school track this week and it looks like she'll be running the 200. I tried to get her to pole vault, which is what I did in school, but that went nowhere fast. When I picked her up at school today she was on the football field throwing a baseball with several boys, one of whom told her that if she had tried out for baseball she would have made the freshman team. It's good to see that eight years of Little League and Pony League paid off...even if it isn't paying off in a way that I would have liked. On top of that, she has been added to a "Select" soccer team made up of 14-year old girls from Southern California that will be playing in a college coaches showcase tournament in Las Vegas in a few weeks. All of these things remind me of the fact that she's ten times the athlete I ever dreamed of being.
•Despite the warnings of some readers, I'm reading 1984 anyway. It's not great, but at least it's an easy read. And it's raining here in San Diego so what else am I going to do?
•In reading so many articles about Mel Gibson's movie (you know which one) I keep coming across the devout types who like to say, "We're all sinners" to which I have to reply: speak for yourself, buddy. At least until after I've made hot monkey love simultaneously (difficult...not impossible) with a couple of leggy supermodels, after which you can call me anything you want.
•I know more about women's bras than most women. Someday I'll explain why, and isn't that like the coolest tease ever?
•I think that Magglio Ordonez, Albert Pujols, and Carlos Beltran are all better ballplayers than A-Rod, which is probably one reason why no one has ever offered me a General Managers job.
•When I was younger, my friend Peter and I went dove hunting in Imperial Valley on Labor day. If you're not familiar with Imperial Valley, it's the desert between San Diego and Yuma, and around that time of year the temperature in El Centro runs about 105 degrees or hotter. After a full day of hunting we headed home and when we arrived back at Peter's parent's house we discovered that his parents were having a formal dinner party. We went in through the kitchen in the back because, for obvious reasons, we were dirty and sweaty and didn't want to interrupt the adults. Upon hearing us in the kitchen Peter's mom called out to ask Peter how it went. After he yelled back that we had a good day, she asked if I was with him. When Peter said yes, she said, "Well, come introduce Tom to our guests."
Walking into the formal dining room we found a long table around which were seated a very distinguished group of older people with the men in tuxedos and the women in formal dresses much like I had only seen in movies. Did I mention that Peter's family was quite wealthy? I should have, because that would explain why I was introduced to, among others, Barry Goldwater and Alan Simpson. Yeah. Those guys. As they say, long story short: we spent the next twenty minutes or so interrupting the party and talking hunting with the gentlemen which included a trip to the kitchen to see the dove that we had shot that day. And all I could think about the entire time, when I talked to Barry Goldwater and took him outside to see my new shotgun was: my dad voted against you...you're supposed to be nuts.
But he wasn't nuts. He was a pretty cool guy.
And that's my Barry Goldwater story.
•Someday I'll tell you about my interviews with both Spiro Agnew and Don Zimmer when I was a senior in high school, but I bet you'd rather hear about the bras.
Now I have to go rest up. Tomorrow is America's Worst Mother™ day.
posted by tbogg at 10:37 PM
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Too good to save
I have over three hundred emails so far for Happy Bushco Slogans but reader Mark sends in one that he attributes to Leonard Earl Johnson that I just love. It's not what I was looking for, it's better:
"A Jobless Recovery is like Waterless Rain"
Isn't that breathtakingly brilliant?
posted by tbogg at 8:52 PM
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When November rolls aound...
Don't forget the smiling white guys.
He-Man Women's-Rights Haters Club.
posted by tbogg at 2:01 PM
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Lying beneath a grunting Orson Scott, Mrs. Card grimaces and fantasizes about Carmen Electra...
Roy at alicublog ponders the other worldly prose of Ender's daddy:
Card: In the first place, no law in any state in the United States now or ever has forbidden homosexuals to marry. The law has never asked that a man prove his heterosexuality in order to marry a woman, or a woman hers in order to marry a man.
Any homosexual man who can persuade a woman to take him as her husband can avail himself of all the rights of husbandhood under the law. And, in fact, many homosexual men have done precisely that, without any legal prejudice at all.
Ditto with lesbian women. Many have married men and borne children. And while a fair number of such marriages in recent years have ended in divorce, there are many that have not.
...and I say, "Good for Karen Santorum for sticking it out and bearing seven children for Rick while enduring a cumulative 19 minutes of bleak loveless missionary sex". Oh that this country should have more of her hearty self-denying breed....
posted by tbogg at 1:58 PM
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I Don't Like The Drugs But The Drugs Like Me: Paranoia Edition
Speaking of overweight radio-blowhards with addictive personalities (see below), here's Rush complaining about what he thinks are drug surveillance vans:
“When a phone company truck shows up and parks in front of our building, we scram. We don't know who's in that truck. We don't know what devices are in that truck, but we say, ‘Uh-oh we're getting outta here because they're going to screw it up.’”
and here's Rush making less sense than usual:
“Where do you go to find moderates? Somebody tell me. Is there one central place where these people hang out? Do they hang out in bowling alleys? Do they hang outlet(sic) in brie cheese and white wine nightclubs?”
" Brie cheese and white wine nightclubs"?
...and people think he's off the hard stuff?
posted by tbogg at 1:38 PM
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I imagine using "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man" as his 'bumper music' is out...
Denied a spot on Celebrity Poker Showdown (which is on that gay network), Bill Bennett has opted to do a radio show instead:
The new radio program entitled Bill Bennett's "Morning in America" will be broadcast live from Washington every weekday from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. (Eastern) via the Dallas-based Salem Radio Network (SRN), which already features such nationally known talk hosts as Mike Gallagher, Dennis Prager, Michael Medved and Hugh Hewitt among others.
If I'm not mistaken, that would give him the coveted 3:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. spot in San Diego, which is probably a good time slot since he's creepier than Art Bell anyway.
posted by tbogg at 1:26 PM
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Gary Bauer supports hot lesbian sex...and you should too.
Josh Mashall has the details.
Christian conservatives line up to see Bound and Mulholland Drive.
posted by tbogg at 10:47 AM
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If it's all the same to you, we'd rather go to Cuba
I don't want to go to Libya. No one wants to go to Libya.
Cuba. That's where we want to go.
Thanks.
posted by tbogg at 10:35 AM
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I think it was clearer in the original english
I've pointed out before that Peggy Noonan was once an "adjunct professor of journalism at New York University". Hopefully she didn't teach her students to write anything like this:
America is now a country--it was not always--in which people feel free to hold whatever private views on all human groups and behaviors while bowing to the moral necessity to show respect and regard for all groups that are different, in whatever ways.
As she says (twice): whatever...
posted by tbogg at 10:24 AM
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"Okay. When she enters stage left you say, 'Yeah yeah. Unh unh.' Then cross your arms, cock your head, and look bad. Okay? Got that? Mr. Diddy?"
Puffy-Diddy does Broadway:
PREVIEWS for "Raisin in the Sun" are only a month away, but our insiders swear that Sean "Puffy" Combs has yet to read the script. "He thinks it will be easy to remember and is too busy right now," our production source says. The producers are so worried about Combs' ability to handle the rigors of Broadway that they're casting his understudy very carefully. "Puffy signed on for a 15-week run," notes our mole, "but it's eight performances a week. Not many professional actors can handle that, much less Puffy." A rep for the show, which starts April 26 at the Royale, said simply, "That is not true."
15- week run. Yeah. Right.
Good lord. Audra McDonald who is a professional's professional is co-staring with him.
posted by tbogg at 9:36 AM
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$2.19 for regular unleaded in my neighborhood this morning
Remember before the 2000 election when people said it was a good thing that Bush & Cheney were oilmen (well, bobody said successful oilmen) and that would mean more and cheaper oil because of their connections with the oil-producing countries and their knowledge about energy policy and yadda yadda yadda?
Guess those folks were wrong.
Motorists face gasoline shortages as well as record prices the next few weeks because of the skintight U.S. refining and distribution network.
The vulnerability of that network, combined with low inventories of both gasoline and the crude oil from which it's made, have the government and energy experts increasingly nervous that some places in the USA will run out of gas temporarily. An accident that has disrupted shipping on the Mississippi River and in the Gulf of Mexico could trigger shortages this week.
"It looks like the big bulk terminals in Florida are going to run out in the next few days," Tom Kloza, analyst at the Oil Price Information Service, said Wednesday. Big gasoline suppliers were warning their customers of imminent Florida shortages and reduced allocations, he said. The Coast Guard said it had reopened some of the channel Wednesday, but a backlog of ships remained.
posted by tbogg at 9:28 AM
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Two weeks from now we'll be watching Starsky & Hutch and laughing about this...
Well, I'm pretty much done with Mel Gibson's Jesus Christ: The Passion for a $20 Million Opening Day. But here is a clear and lucid post about the whole hoopla from Byzantium's Shores with some lines that I think we can all relate to:
I really would rather not see this film in the company of people who, I suspect, are -- at least in large part -- the kinds of folks who aren't comfortable being Christians unless you know that they're Christians, and better ones than you. I just want to see the thing as a movie, and I doubt that's going to be possible anywhere other than my living room once it shows up at BlockBuster.
Besides, if I want to go get a Butterfinger, I don't want to be tripping over them as they writhe in the aisles ...
posted by tbogg at 9:19 AM
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Wearing the pants in the family....
Apparently one of the other side-effects of Cialis, besides that pesky 4-hour erection (I mean, what are you going to do with that?) is uncontrollable aggression as witnessed in James Lileks' writings today. After showing Jasper (that's his dog...not another lispy child. If it was a child it would have a cute bug name like "Tick" or "Chigger" or "Japanese Dynastid Beetle") that he is the alpha dog, James goes on a rant about coarsening the culture and shows off a remarkable amount of knowledge about female anatomy and sexual practices that I'm sure he doesn't practice with Mrs. Lileks, who is a lawyer and would probably sue him for divorce if he just tried something like that, buddy, so put it back in your pants.
Anyway, we have to ask: Do you kiss your child with that mouth, pal?
posted by tbogg at 9:03 AM
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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
So you won't have to...
For those of you who have the good taste to avoid the kausfiles for the last month, here is your update:
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
Edwards
Kerry
NY Times
Kerry
Kerry
LeHane
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
[ But he was in Vietnam-ed. Well allright then!]
Kerry
Kerry
NY Times
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry's wife
Kerry
I wish I had hair.
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
[ And 'playbook'?-ed. Timeless.]
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
God. I'm lonely.
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
John Ellis
Kerry
Kerry
Edwards
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry's wife
Kerry
Kerry
Kerry
Dean
Dean
Kerry
Kerry
Rinse, repeat...
posted by tbogg at 7:13 PM
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God doesn't like it when you rattle your Goobers® bag...
Flashing light at Drudge:
KAKE TV in Wichita, Kansas set report to a woman, in her 50s, suffered a heart attack during a morning screening of Mel Gibson's controversial film PASSION OF THE CHRIST. "She later died at the hospital," a station source tells the DRUDGE REPORT. The report is scheduled to be lead story on the station's 5 PM news. "She went into seizure during one of the film's most dramatic moments," a station source explains. The woman attended a 9:30am screening at Warren East Theaters in Wichita... Developing...
...and turn off your damn cell phone. I can't hear the Aramaic...
posted by tbogg at 1:35 PM
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Things to do in Denver when you're anti-Semitic
For todays sermon, please turn to the book of Jew Bashing:
A billboard unveiled on Ash Wednesday, the same day that a controversial movie depicting the last hours of Jesus Christ premiered, is sparking criticism from people of all faiths.
The large-size outdoor marquee, which sits on the property of the Lovingway United Pentecostal Church at Colorado and Mississippi, says, "Jews Killed The Lord Jesus" and the word "Settled!"
The Anti-Defamation League asked for the marquee to be changed because it is anti-Semitic, but the church only amended the billboard slightly by removing the word "settled" and attributing the line to biblical Scriptures.
That, however, is still not appeasing critics.
"Immediately, I picked up the phone and called the pastor and had a spirited but good and respectful discussion with him in which I tried to explain to him that that kind of message is divisive and exactly the kind of message which has fueled anti-Semitism for thousands of years," said Bruce DeBoskey, the Mountain States Regional Director for the Anti-Defamation League.
Jewish leaders say that like Mel Gibson's new movie "The Passion of the Christ" -- which opened Wednesday morning -- the passage will stir up anti-Semitic attitudes and will cause some people to lash out at Jews.
The Colorado Council of Churches also tried to get Pastor Maurice Gordon to change the sign but he refused and wouldn't even answer the phone or answer the door, 7NEWS reported.
In related news, the Lovingway United Jewbashers defeated the Our Lady of Perpetual Tithing's Crusaders 34-27 in Christian league basketball action....
posted by tbogg at 12:55 PM
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Bilmon vs. the Shriverhumpernator
Bilmon wins.
posted by tbogg at 12:41 PM
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Hi. I'm Scott. I be lying to you today. Our catch phrase of the day is.....
"sacred institution"
Go here...then type 'sacred institution' into your Google bar and click on your Google highlighter.
Pretty colors!
Here's the best of Scotty (not counting twelve other instances where he used the term "institution"):
MR. McCLELLAN: John, the President has always firmly believed that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. He has always held that view. And I think what you're referring to is that the President has talked about how states have the right to enter into their own legal arrangements. And that's what the President is referring to.
...
MR. McCLELLAN: The President's view was very well-known during the campaign of 2000, that he believes marriage is a sacred institution. And he supported efforts to protect and defend the sanctity of marriage
...
MR. McCLELLAN: The President is going to continue to fight to protect the sanctity of marriage. I think you have to look at this in the context of recent events. We cannot pretend that the events in Massachusetts or San Francisco are not happening. And that's why the President is providing leadership, and making a decision based on principle. And he will continue to talk about the importance of protecting this sacred institution.
...
MR. McCLELLAN: What I'm telling you is that the President has always believed marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman; that it should be an institution that is protected. And that's what the President has always made very clear. John was talking about a change, and I don't see that.
...
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, this debate centers on marriage, and the definition of marriage. And some people have sought to redefine this sacred institution. And that's why the President has come out strongly in support of protecting the sanctity of marriage.
...
MR. McCLELLAN: I think he defined marriage. He believes marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. That's how he would define it.
...
MR. McCLELLAN: I think that you have some 38 states -- this issue is about marriage, Elisabeth. This is about the definition of marriage, and he believes strongly that it is a sacred institution, and that it's important to protect it.
...
MR. McCLELLAN: Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. I don't know how I can make it more clearly that the President has said that repeatedly.
...
MR. McCLELLAN: And again, I said that he's always viewed marriage as a sacred institution between a man and a woman. And I will keep -- I would point back to some of what he said in terms of the -- one, I'm not accepting the premise the way you stated the question -- but point back to what he said in his remarks when it came to the issue of other states having to recognize laws of other states.
...
All this in 36 minutes.
Afterwards, a weary and shaken Scott McClellan was institutionalized...in a sacred one, of course.
(Added): The Demagogue caught McClellan staying on message before.
posted by tbogg at 12:05 PM
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Lemme guess who the two were....
Supreme Court.... goverment subsidizing religion.....
The Supreme Court, in a new rendering on separation of church and state, voted Wednesday to let states withhold scholarships from students studying theology.
The court’s 7-2 ruling held that the state of Washington was within its rights to deny a taxpayer-funded scholarship to a college student who was studying to be a minister. That holding applies even when money is available to students studying anything else.
“Training someone to lead a congregation is an essentially religious endeavor,” Chief Justice William Rehnquist wrote for the court majority. “Indeed, majoring in devotional theology is akin to a religious calling as well as an academic pursuit.”
[...]
Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas dissented.
“Let there be no doubt: This case is about discrimination against a religious minority,” Scalia wrote for the two.
“In an era when the court is so quick to come to the aid of other disfavored groups, its indifference in this case, which involves a form of discrimination to which the Constitution actually speaks, is exceptional.”
When exactly did Christians become a "religious minority" and a "disfavored group" in the United States? I must have missed class that day.
posted by tbogg at 11:28 AM
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Later, they got a room and did some transformative lovin' of their own...
Mel meets Bill and theology ensues:
"TOLERANCE" [Rich Lowry]
I thought Mel Gibson was good on the O'Reilly Factor, even if he seemed a little worn down. One thing caught my ear. He said that what he had learned from the whole experience is "tolerance." That was the wrong word. What he really meant is that he has learned love and forgiveness. As he said later in the interview, he loves his critics, even if he doesn't like them. When O'Reilly said that he forgives his own "enemies?"but doesn't love them, Gibson tried to explain that that isn't enough, that if you don't love them, you will be consumed by their hatred. This is a profound point that gets at a phenomenon much deeper than mere "tolerance," especially as that word is thrown around today. Gibson was talking about the transformative power of love.
...which can be acquired with a a good flogging...and maybe a nice box of Godiva.
posted by tbogg at 10:05 AM
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And we should give rich people another tax cut, because this is going to be really hard on them....
Alan Greenspan just put his tongue on the third rail:
Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan urged Congress on Wednesday to deal with the country's escalating budget deficit by cutting benefits for future Social Security retirees. Without action, he warned, long-term interest rates would rise, seriously harming the economy.
In testimony before the House Budget Committee, Greenspan said the current deficit situation, with a projected record red ink of $521 billion this year, will worsen dramatically once the baby boom generation starts becoming eligible for Social Security benefits in just four years.
He said the prospect of the retirement of 77 million baby boomers will radically change the mix of people working and paying into the Social Security retirement fund and those drawing benefits from the fund.
"This dramatic demographic change is certain to place enormous demands on our nation's resources - demands we will almost surely be unable to meet unless action is taken," Greenspan said. "For a variety of reasons, that action is better taken as soon as possible."
Ka-boom!
posted by tbogg at 8:57 AM
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Meanwhile, in Colorado, Marilyn Musgrave discovers the secret of 'fire'. There is much celebration and feces flinging...
Teresa Kerry has more faith in the fundies than I do:
``I think culturally we're going through a huge change,'' Heinz Kerry said. ``I look at it in a human context because I have friends in those situations, and it's terrible. All we owe people is dignity, respect and civil rights. I think the country will evolve.''
posted by tbogg at 8:24 AM
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This would probably explain IKEA...
From the Borowitz Report:
Within ten years of marriage, Dr. Cranborn added, a significant number of married men stop having sex with women altogether.
“There’s only one way to describe someone who does not have sex with women, does not hit on women, and spends his free time shopping for furniture,” Dr. Cranborn added. “That word, to be scientific about it, is gay.”
(Thanks to Issac for the link)
posted by tbogg at 8:12 AM
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Tuesday, February 24, 2004
No dude. We'll look totally cool. Go put on the Creed CD. I'll set up the webcam...
Two dinks who love Jonah Goldberg.
Nothing like wasting a perfectly good CBGB t-shirt on a white-bread & mayonnaise fratboy.
posted by tbogg at 10:45 PM
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Perky Happy Fuzzy Baby Bunnies for Bush
The new and improved Ben Shapiro (see the picture: happy! shiny! unsullied by a woman's hoo-ha!) thinks the President (white guy, Christian, sometimes doesn't show up for work...that guy) needs a good slogan:
This message needs to be honed and emphasized. The new slogan adopted by the Bush administration -- "Steady Leadership in Times of Change" -- needs to go. The slogan aches of uncertainty and fear. It sounds like an investment ad. The Bush administration needs something bold, optimistic and colorful: "A new American sunrise." Or "America rising." Or "America on the ascent."
Let's help, okay?:
"America! It's not just for heterosexuals any more...Okay. Actually it is..."
"If you're reading this, 9/11 wasn't so bad now, was it?"
"America: Where everyman is a Burger Structural Engineer ...now"
"Bush 2004:Less jobs! More free time to surf porn..."
"I lead. You follow. Why think?"
"It's morning in America...and only Jenna Bush is hungover"
"America: It's SuperHalliburtonExxonDOMAdocious!"
"Bush and Dick. The way God intended."
Holy Jonah Goldberg in a Speedo! I smell a contest.
Email me your perkiest Bush/Cheney slogan and I'll post the best of the best on Sunday night. Remember it has to be cheerful like Rush on a Hillbilly Heroin binge and shiny and sparkly like Mickey's Kaus' head. Just put Banalities for Bush in the subject...and, hey, let's keep it clean, okay? Also let me know if you want your name published.
Winner gets a dream-date with Neil Bush...but then, who hasn't had one of those?
posted by tbogg at 10:25 PM
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Catering by George
Tim Noah on George the Fundamentalist's Bitch:
...Bush is doing the courts' work for them, declaring the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional while at the same time portraying himself as judicial activism's victim. He's like Cleavon Little in that scene from Blazing Saddles where he whips out his gun and takes himself hostage. In fact, it's his fundamentalist supporters who've taken Bush hostage, and they couldn't be less interested in helping Bush remain consistent about the proper role of the federal government. The only real belief animating this political discussion is the bigoted one that homosexuality is an abomination. President Bush may not subscribe to that belief, but he's more than happy to cater to it.
posted by tbogg at 9:22 PM
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You get the audience you deserve...
The reviews are in and all the church-going folks whose churches bought out screenings loved it:
"I'd give it 10 stars. It's one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life," said Maritza Castro, 32, who had tears streaming down her face as she left a preview screening for church groups at the Magic Johnson Theater in Harlem.
"I knew from the Bible that he did take a beating. I didn't know how intense," she said.
"The movie just . . . made me feel like I was part of that crowd [at the crucifixion], like I was there . . . So much so that my chest is just caved in. It's awesome."
Tom Schoenherr, 48, an assistant dean at Fordham Law School, attended a screening sponsored by the American Bible Society at the Loews 84th Street Theater on the Upper West Side.
"Having read the story, to see a dramatic portrayal of it was just amazing," Schoenherr said.
He said he wept during scenes showing Mary's devotion to Jesus, but there were also times he had to avert his eyes from the often-bloody depiction of the last hours of Jesus' life.
[...]
Peter Trautmann, 32, a campus minister from Manhattan, said the movie was "excellent, overwhelming."
"I cried through much of it," he said. "It's a very accurate, powerful, visceral experience."
In other news, 100% of the men coming out of a stripper bar in Passaic called Lil' Darlin's House of Headlights agreed that "boobs are pretty cool".
posted by tbogg at 8:13 PM
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I got nailed by Jesus...
Since McDonalds passed on the Happy Meal action figures from Mel Gibsons The Passion: Ow...! Jesus Christ! That Hurts! Gibson had to find another merchandising angle to pick up a little extra mammon.
A particularly popular item is a pendant fashioned from a single nail made of pewter and attached to a leather strap, say officials of Bob Siemon Designs, which is licensed by Gibson’s Icon Productions to produce jewelry tied to the film. The pendants represent the nails used in the film to fasten Christ to the cross.
“This thing has turned into this kind of overnight phenomenon that we can’t believe,” Siemon said. He said his staff is working 10- to 14-hour shifts six days a week to keep Christian bookstores supplied with the pendants, crucifixes and other items.
Ooo-ooo. Pretty goth, eh? These might come in pretty handy for picking up unsuspecting Jesus chicks.
For those keeping score at home, add the above movie name to the following:
Lethal Jesus: The Double Cross.
Lethal Jesus: That's Funny, You Don't Look Savior-ish
Lethal Jesus: 2 Fast 2 Jewish
Jesus Christ, Superhype
Pop 'n' Lock Jesus: Electric Messiah
Passion: A Date with Lethal Jesus
Jesus Christ: Jerusalem Nights
The Passion: God Money I'll Do Anything For You
Crouching Jesus, Hidden Agenda
Jesus Christ--Beat Me, Hurt Me, Make Me Recite the Psalms
Jesus Christ: Aramaic Graffiti
Jesus Christ: We Were Saviors Once...And Hung
Jesus Christ: 8 Simple Rules About Crucifying My Savior
Jesus...I'm exhausted...
posted by tbogg at 7:53 PM
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Totalitarian sodomy-loving cohorts and other interesting demographic groups
Andrew Sullivan has become Gay Marriage Central today, and Andy is posting lots of good letters (scroll up and down).
It will be interesting to see if he wakes up tomorrow and declares that he won't vote for President Gay Go Away.
posted by tbogg at 3:13 PM
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Gonna be a busy day.
I'll be back tonight....
In the meantime... Dare To Slack
posted by tbogg at 9:08 AM
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"Most enduring institution..."
That is, unless you're Neil Bush.
In the annals of embarrassing presidential relatives, Neil Bush is no Billy Carter or Roger Clinton.
But his messy divorce has produced some eye-opening disclosures.
Among them: He had sex with women who showed up uninvited at his hotel rooms in Asia; he had an affair and may have fathered a child out of wedlock; and he stands to make millions from businesses in which he has little expertise - including a computer-chip company managed in part by the son of former Chinese president Jiang Zemin.
It seems certain opportunities tend to present themselves when your name is Neil Bush.
For his part, Bush defended the fees he has received for consulting jobs. But he gave little insight into whether the women who offered him sex in Hong Kong and Taiwan were perhaps paid by mysterious benefactors.
posted by tbogg at 8:32 AM
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Burning down the Log Cabin
Let's see how they tapdance around this one:
President Bush backed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage Tuesday, saying he wants to stop activist judges from changing the definition of the "most enduring human institution."
Marriage cannot be severed from its cultural and moral roots, Bush said, urging Congress to approve such an amendment.
The Log Cabin Republicans don't have anything new up on their site, but they do have this dated 2/11/04:
“Writing discrimination into the Constitution is wrong. It is not conservative, it is not Republican, and it will not strengthen America,” said Log Cabin Executive Director Patrick Guerriero, in response to the President’s possible support of an anti-family Constitutional amendment.
“As conservative Republicans, we are outraged that any Republican—particularly the leader of our party and this nation—would support any effort to use our sacred United States Constitution as a way of scoring political points in an election year,” Guerriero said.
Candidate Bush promised in 2000 to be a “uniter, not a divider.” The effort to write discrimination into our Constitution with an anti-family amendment would divide America.
Candidate Bush ran as a compassionate conservative. There is nothing compassionate about discriminating against part of the American family. And there is nothing conservative about tinkering with our Constitution.
Candidate Bush ran as a governor who supported Federalism and states’ rights. This anti-family amendment runs counter to both those principles. And it runs counter to what Vice-President Cheney said during the 2000 campaign. Instead of allowing each state to decide this issue on its own, the President is pushing a purely political proposal to appease the radical right.
I assume that this may change how they will vote in November. That is, as second-class citizens, if they're still allowed to vote.
posted by tbogg at 8:27 AM
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Monday, February 23, 2004
...and there was great rejoicing throughout the land...
The archives are back.
Down there...on the left...below the mailbox.
yea.
I have also added a new section on baseball blogs down below. As much as I love baseball (which is a lot) I will try and refrain from posting about it here. There is nothing funny or snarky about baseball.
It is the only true faith...
posted by tbogg at 6:23 PM
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The non-apology apology and "I'm the victim here, dammit!" statement of Rod Paige
Wow. Even by the lowered standards of the Bush Administration, this is pretty breathtaking:
U.S. Secretary of Education Rod Paige today issued the following apology for his remarks about the NEA.
"It was an inappropriate choice of words to describe the obstructionist scare tactics the NEA's Washington lobbyists have employed against No Child Left Behind's historic education reforms. I also said, as I have repeatedly, that our nation's teachers, who have dedicated their lives to service in the classroom, are the real soldiers of democracy, whereas the NEA's high-priced Washington lobbyists have made no secret that they will fight against bringing real, rock-solid improvements in the way we educate all our children regardless of skin color, accent or where they live. But, as one who grew up on the receiving end of insensitive remarks, I should have chosen my words better."
I assume that one of those "insensitive remarks" included the word fraud.
posted by tbogg at 5:55 PM
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Gay people making the slope really really slippery
How embarassing for our state. Here's Gov. Shriverschtupper on gay marriage:
"In San Francisco, it is license for marriage of same sex. Maybe the next thing is another city that hands out licenses for assault weapons and someone else hands out licenses for selling drugs, I mean you can't do that," Schwarzenegger said Sunday on NBC.
[...]
Newsom said on CNN's "Late Edition" that there was no basis for comparing laws on gay marriage to gun control.
"It's not about AK-47s," he said. "It's not about these other hypotheticals. It's about human beings. It's about human dignity. ... It's about, I think, holding truth, faith and allegiance to the Constitution."
posted by tbogg at 3:28 PM
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The Scotty Follies: Duck and Cover Edition
The Press having fun, poking Scott McClellan with pointy sticks:
Q On the 9/11 Commission, why -- you've indicated that the President has agreed to a private meeting with the co-chairs of the commission. Why is the President unwilling to meet with the entire commission? And why, at this point, is he unwilling to provide public testimony? What's his position on this?
MR. McCLELLAN: A couple of things. One, let me get to the first part of your question. The chairman and vice-chairman of the 9/11 Commission sent a letter requesting a private session with the President. The President agreed to the request. We believe that all the necessary information could be provided in that private meeting. In terms of the actual details, we are still discussing those details for that private session with the chairman and vice-chairman. That's where it stands at this point.
Q How is that going? (Laughter.)
MR. McCLELLAN: It's ongoing; it's going.
Q It doesn't appear like he is willing to sit down to offer testimony to the entire commission, and I'm wondering why not?
MR. McCLELLAN: I think the President believes that all the necessary information they need can be provided in a private session.
Q Why --
Q Then why is he appearing?
Q Why -- hold on, Helen. What about -- why not a public session?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I think that he feels that everything can be provided in that private meeting, that's why.
Q Right, but they apparently feel differently, so --
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I'm not sure -- speaking for the entire commission, but the chairman and vice chairman requested the private meeting. And that's what we're moving forward on discussing with them right now.
Q Would it be inappropriate, in your view, in the President's view, for him to offer testimony under oath to this commission?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, look, the President will be pleased to talk to them in a private session. And that's where it stands right now.
Q So you're not answering the oath question?
MR. McCLELLAN: I'm sorry?
Q You're not -- does he think it's inappropriate to be under oath for something like this?
MR. McCLELLAN: The President is going to share with them what information he knows, and he's pleased to do it.
Q So he'll do it under oath, if necessary?
MR. McCLELLAN: I don't know if that's necessary. I think he can accomplish it all in private meeting, and provide the commission the necessary information in that format.
Q But he's -- but he's against anything being made public?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I don't know that I said that. They will obviously have a private meeting with him and have an opportunity to discuss with the President information that is relevant to their work.
Q Can they share that testimony then?
MR. McCLELLAN: And we're working all the details. I don't know the specifics, David, of all the details that are involved in this. Obviously, we still are able -- we're still working to discuss those details with them. But, certainly, this is information that they would use in preparing their report to the American people. So I expect that they would share information.
posted by tbogg at 3:18 PM
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I told you so
Tom Toles
posted by tbogg at 1:54 PM
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The speed of lying
Like a cancer it grows.
First, suspect website FrontPage Magazine publishes an anonymous posting from a Marine chat net supposedly by a "retired Marine Master Sergeant who was in S-2, 3rd Bn, 1st Marines, Korea in 1954.".
Although this urban myth has been debunked at snopes, an obscure blogger picks up on it, and adds to the mix by linking to POW/MIA scammer Ted Sampley of whom John McCain once said:
"I strongly caution reporters who may be contacted by or are interested in Mr. Ted Sampley and the various organizations he claims to represent, and his opinions on the subject of Senator Kerry, or any subject for that matter, to investigate thoroughly Mr. Sampley's background and history of spreading outrageous slander and other disreputable behavior before inadvertently lending him or his allegations any credibility.
"I am well familiar with Mr. Sampley, and I know him to be one of the most despicable people I have ever had the misfortune to encounter. I consider him a fraud who preys on the hopes of family members of missing servicemen for his own profit. He is dishonorable, an enemy of the truth, and despite his claims, he does not speak for or represent the views of all but a few veterans. The many veterans I know would think it a disgrace to be considered a comrade or supporter of Ted Sampley."
Then Glenn Reynolds, who checks out sources like Bill Janklow slows down for stop signs, runs with it.
...and that's how lies get spread.
The point being, Reynolds should at least do a minimum of research before posting, as opposed to his standard UPDATE: "Whoops. My bad." if he want to remain credible.
He does want to be credible, doesn't he?
(I see Oliver Willis already did the legwork on this. Damn. I could have been reading Non Sequitur instead)
posted by tbogg at 1:30 PM
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Jihad Day at the Big Brothers and Big Sisters picnic
Joseph Farah, one of Richard Mellon Scaife's flunkeys, has a breathless expose on dangerous, five language-speaking Manchurian-First Lady wannabe, Teresa Heinz Kerry:
If John Kerry becomes president, the first lady will have a track record of support for the causes of radical, anti-American groups - including Islamists, terrorist-defense law firms, abortionists and homosexual activists - that, by comparison, would make much of the country nostalgic for the days of Hillary Clinton, a study of her philanthropy patterns by Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin concludes.
One of heiress Teresa Heinz Kerry's favorite charities is the Tides Foundation, a 28-year-old grant-making institution that funds to the tune of hundreds of millions radical groups that, among other things, protest the U.S. invasion of Iraq, demand open U.S. borders, provide the legal defense of suspected terrorists and promote the spread of Islamist ideology in the U.S.
Heinz Kerry, worth an estimated three-quarters of a billion dollars, working through the Howard Heinz Endowment, oversaw the donation of more than $4 million to the Tides Foundation between 1995 and 2001, reports G2 Bulletin, a premium, online intelligence newsletter published by WorldNetDaily.
Gasp!
Let's look at who the Tides Foundation has been supporting (.pdf records from 2002):
Big Brother Big Sisters of America $1,000,000
Central Valley Health Network $275,000
Council of Community Clinics $200,000
Educational Fund to Stop Gun Violence $694,554
Emory University $1,000,000
Forest Stewardship Council- Canada $127,857
Global Fund for Women $236,898
Harm Reduction Coalition $560,000
NAACP $584,897
National Tropical Botanical Garden $125,000
Ojai Valley Community Nursery School $3,000
PEN/Faulkner Foundation $1,500
Rainforest Action Network $119,138
Sacramento Living Wage Campaign $30,000
Seattle Rotary Service Foundation $1,500
St. Francis Xavier Action Youth Center $1,000
Swinomish Canoe Club $3,000
The Algebra Project $136,001
Womens Sports Foundation $100,000
There are 43 pages listing recipients of grants like these from the Tides Foundation. Over $58 million in grants awarded.
Why do these people and Teresa Heinz Kerry hate America?
posted by tbogg at 12:12 PM
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For his service to his country, Lt. Bush received the coveted Croix de Barcalounger....
What did you do in the war, Daddy?
John Kerry: Lieutenant (junior grade) Kerry was serving as an Officer-in-Charge of Inshore Patrol Craft 94, one of five boats conducting a Sealords operation in the Bay Hap River. While exiting the river, a mine detonated under another Inshore Patrol Craft and almost simultaneously, another mine detonated wounding Lieutenant (junior grade) Kerry in the right arm. In addition, all units began receiving small arms and automatic weapons fire from the river banks. When Lieutenant (junior grade) Kerry discovered he had a man overboard, he returned upriver to assist. The man in the water was receiving sniper fire from both banks. Lieutenant (junior grade) Kerry directed his gunners to provide suppressing fire, while from an exposed position on the bow, his arm bleeding and in pain and with disregard for his personal safety, he pulled the man aboard. Lieutenant (junior grade) Kerry then directed his boat to return to and assist the other damaged boat to safety. Lieutenant (junior grade) Kerry's calmness, professionalism and great personal courage under fire were in keeping with the highest traditions of the United States Naval Service.
George Bush: The 69-year-old president of an Atlanta insulation company said Bush showed up for work at Dannelly Air National Guard Base for drills on at least six occasions. Bush and Calhoun had both been trained as fighter pilots, and Calhoun said the two would swap "war stories" and even eat lunch together on base.
Calhoun is named in 187th unit rosters obtained by the AP as serving under the deputy commander of operations plans. Bush was in Alabama on non-flying status.
"He sat in my office most of the time — he would read," Calhoun said. "He had your training manuals from your aircraft he was flying. He'd study those some. He'd read safety magazines, which is a common thing for pilots."
Unfortunately for Lt. Bush, no Purple Heart was forthcoming for that hemorrhoid.
Now there's a "war story".
posted by tbogg at 11:20 AM
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First they came for the technical support people....
It's nice to see that some of the readers of the Corner are so farsighted:
From a reader:
I happen to work at a company that layed off a dozen technical support workers and replaced them with an Indian service.
It was most unfortunate that these people lost their jobs, and my heart went out to them. At the same time, however, aggressive cost-cutting helped stabilize our business during a shaky period. Stockholders saw we were serious about increasing profit margins, and bought accordingly. Our stock has risen 60% in the past eight months.
The remaining three thousand employees of the company have benefited greatly. We still have jobs, the company has a very viable future, and most of us are going to have more discretionary income from raises and rising stock prices. Occasionally sacrifices need to be made for the good of the team. As Spock would say, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. And as to the people out of work, they have been provided with employment services and job training. It’s not a great situation, but their prospects are better here in the U.S. than anywhere else in the world. In the big picture ‘outsourcing’ isn’t necessarily a dirty word. Any CEO that ignores it is in peril of losing their business, period, which would mean a helluva lot more people out of work.
And what happens when the shareholders want to see even larger increases in profit margins next year?
The economic Darwinists are so cute while they still have their jobs...
posted by tbogg at 10:50 AM
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The Quayle standard
National treasure Calvin Trillin compares former National Guardsman Dan Quayle to someone else who hid out from Vietnam.
Mr. Quayle denied receiving preferential treatment, but he didn't quibble about what making it into the guard meant at that time. "Obviously, if you join the National Guard, you have less of a chance of going to Vietnam," he said on "Meet the Press" some time later. "I mean, it goes without saying." That's presumably what Colin Powell had in mind in "My American Journey" when he wrote, "I am angry that so many of the sons of the powerful and well placed . . . managed to wrangle spots in Reserve and National Guard units."
But in the current furor about George W. Bush's military record it seems to be taken for granted that Mr. Bush got into the so-called Champagne unit of the Texas Air National Guard through influence. The stories begin by saying he was jumped over a 500-man waiting list. Then they quickly go on to investigate the details of his sojourn in Alabama. Using influence to get into the guard and therefore out of Vietnam is no longer disqualifying for "sons of the powerful"; it's assumed. Or could it be that Dan Quayle is judged by stricter standards than other politicians?
posted by tbogg at 10:22 AM
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Ignoreland
In light of this:
Democratic officials issued a statement Sunday saying Nader has promised McAuliffe he will not criticize the Democratic nominee, but rather focus his candidacy against the Bush administration.
Nader acknowledged the pledge but said it does not mean he will refrain from criticizing Democrats if they attack him. “I’m not going to avoid responding,” he said.
I'm taking a tip from a few other blogs and I'm just going to ignore Nader for the time being.
I just hope I can do it.
posted by tbogg at 8:32 AM
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Sunday, February 22, 2004
Attack of the chickenhawks
If the Bush administration wants to attack John Kerry over his commitment to the military couldn't they have found someone with a bit more courage and credibility than Saxby Chambliss?
Sen. Saxby Chambliss said during a conference call arranged by the Bush campaign that Kerry has a "32-year history of voting to cut defense programs and cut defense systems."
When Kerry responded later, at his side was Max Cleland, a triple-amputee Vietnam veteran who lost his Senate seat to Chambliss in 2002 after being portrayed as soft on homeland security.
He said the president "decided once again to take the low road of American politics."
"Saxby Chambliss, on the part of the president and his henchmen, decided today to question my commitment to the defense of our nation," Kerry said in Georgia, one of 10 states choosing electoral delegates on March 2.
[...]
Kerry also defended his military record during an interview taped Saturday for broadcast Sunday morning on ABC's "This Week."
"I don't know what it is that all these Republicans who didn't serve in Vietnam are fighting a war against those of us who did," the Massachusetts senator said.
Kerry has campaigned on his Vietnam combat record, which includes three Purple Hearts, a Bronze Star and a Silver Star.
[...]
Cleland, a Democrat, had some criticism for Chambliss.
"For Saxby Chambliss, who got out of going to Vietnam because of a trick knee, to attack John Kerry as weak on the defense of our nation is like a mackerel in the moonlight that both shines and stinks," he said.
Read more about Chambliss here.
And here's some more on Chambliss:
Poor Saxby Chambliss. He has a bad knee.
In fact, his knee is so bad he told his draft board on two occasions in the 1960s that he was unable to serve in the military during the Vietnam War. This was after he'd already sought a student deferment so he could attend law school.
But fortunately, time is a healer, and these days, the Republican Senate candidate's knee seems to be a-OK. In his campaign appearances -- including several with George W. Bush -- Saxby looked vigorous and strong, striding to the podium without the slightest indication of a limp.
On the other hand, Chambliss' Democratic opponent, Sen. Max Cleland, doesn't have any knees. They were blown off, along with his right arm, in a grenade explosion during the siege of Khe Sanh after he volunteered to serve his country as an Army officer. Max received the Bronze and Silver stars for his service in Vietnam.
But these facts haven't stopped Chambliss from viciously attacking Cleland's patriotism.
In a recent press release, Chambliss accused his opponent of "breaking his oath to protect and defend the Constitution" because Cleland had voted "yes" on a routine Chemical Weapons Treaty amendment allowing inspectors from neighboring nations like Syria and Iran to serve on U.N. inspection teams in Iraq. What makes Chambliss' bizarre attack all the more frustrating is that the bipartisan ratification of the amendment was unremarkable in its impact on national security, a mere footnote in the grand scheme of the war on terrorism.
Former U.S. Sen. Bob Kerrey, who himself lost a leg in Vietnam, called Chambliss' remarks "a shocking slap in the face not just to Max, but to all veterans." And he was right. I feel compelled to defend Cleland, not because of any shared ideology, but because we share a common bond. I may never have faced the horrors of combat, but I am a veteran of the United States Army, one who gladly volunteered to serve his country. Chambliss would do well to learn that if you attack one of us -- especially one of our wounded -- you have attacked us all.
Then again, based upon his qualifications as a coward, Chambliss is the ideal spokesman for AWOL George and Dick "I had other priorities" Cheney.
posted by tbogg at 11:55 AM
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Me and my Arrow
And speaking of movies (see below)...if you've got kids or you are a kid or you want to be a kid....
The Point
..finally available on DVD on 3/23.
Music by the late great Harry Nilsson.
Cool.
posted by tbogg at 11:27 AM
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Angels with dirty faces ...or "What's that on your head?"
Instead of celebrating Ash Wednesday this week with a smudge on your forehead and a trip to see Mel Gibson's Jesus Christ: 8 Simple Rules About Crucifying My Savior why not buy a copy of Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ?
posted by tbogg at 11:21 AM
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Win $10,000!!!
Via Jo at Democratic Veteran we see that $10,000 is just a remembrance away.
Okay, so the USO actually gets the money, but you'll get the pleasure of knowing that you've put an end to "gutter politics" and "cheap smear tactics"...at least until Rove reveals his Kerry commercials or Ann Coulter next opens her mouth, whichever comes first.
posted by tbogg at 10:43 AM
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But then, I prefer dogs to people anyway...
Wouldn't this have been a better day if we had awakened to find that Spot was running for President and Nader had been put down?
posted by tbogg at 10:32 AM
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Oddly enough his old Internet address was hotfinchonfinchaction.com
Hey. I believe the guy:
Upstate New York Republican Gary Finch wants to know what happened to his Web site.
Somehow it became a link to porno on the Internet. The state Assemblyman says earlier this month, someone took over his old Internet address.
Instead of linking constituents to news releases and information about the state Assembly, Web surfers were offered hardcore pornography.
Finch says the state police are investigating. The lawmaker now has a new Internet address -- www.garyfinch.net. He says the new site has tamer fare, like a reading contest for kids.
Here's a picture of Assemblyman Finch reading a story to the kids at Emily Howland Elementary School. The story that particular day was the old Dr. Seuss favorite: Green Eggs and Butt Plugs.
posted by tbogg at 12:36 AM
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Friday, February 20, 2004
Don't know why I find this funny...
.. but I do. (warning sound)
(Link via The Gamers Nook)
posted by tbogg at 10:17 PM
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President Adjective
This ought to cheer up your weekend:
And here's the most stunning line from Pew's report on the new poll :
The most frequently used negative word to describe Bush is "liar," which did not come up in the May 2003 survey.
Back in May, when asked for one word descriptions of Bush, 52 percent of those surveyed used positive words like "honest," "leader," and "good." That number has fallen to 36 percent, which is the same percentage of registered voters whose most frequent words to describe Bush--in addition to "liar"--are now "arrogant," "stupid," "incompetent," "dishonest," "idiot," and "ass." ("Cowboy" has fallen off the list since the May survey.)
Those are the printable ones.
posted by tbogg at 6:20 PM
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For those keeping score at home
537: Votes that George W. Bush won Florida by according to Kathleen Harris.
548: American deaths in Iraq since the war began.
Just in case any Nader followers still think that Gore = Bush.
posted by tbogg at 2:16 PM
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Splitting hairs with the queen of split-ends
Le skank doesn't like being called a liar:
Liberals are hopping mad about last week's column. Amid angry insinuations that I "lied" about Sen. Max Cleland, I was attacked on the Senate floor by Sen. Jack Reed, Molly Ivins called my column "error-ridden," and Al Hunt called it a "lie." Joe Klein said I was the reason liberals were being hysterical about George Bush's National Guard service.
I would have left it at one column, but apparently Democrats want to go another round. With their Clintonesque formulations, my detractors make it a little difficult to know what "lie" I'm supposed to be contesting, but they are clearly implying – without stating – that Cleland lost his limbs in combat.
Let's go to the tape:
Bush's National Guard service is the most thoroughly investigated event since the Kennedy assassination.
Besides Watergate, Iran-Contra, the Tower Commission, and a little 60 million dollar investigation into a blowjob (when Ann knows perfectly well that they can be had for $5 and a Happy Meal). Verdict: Lie.
Thirty years ago, Bush was granted an honorable discharge from the National Guard, which would seem to put the matter to rest.
Well, not really:
Perhaps more striking is how often serious questions of misconduct have been flat-out ignored. John Allen Muhammad, convicted last November for his participation in the D.C. sniper shootings, served in the Louisiana National Guard from 1978-1985, where he faced two summary courts-martial. In 1983, he was charged with striking an officer, stealing a tape measure, and going AWOL. Sentenced to seven days in the brig, he received an honorable discharge in 1985.
We'll chalk that one up to stupidity instead of lying.
Ann: To put this in perspective, by 1973, John Kerry had already accused American soldiers of committing war crimes in Vietnam,
Reality: I would like to talk, representing all those veterans, and say that several months ago in Detroit, we had an investigation at which over 150 honorably discharged and many very highly decorated veterans testified to war crimes committed in Southeast Asia, not isolated incidents but crimes committed on a day-to-day basis with the full awareness of officers at all levels of command....
They told the stories at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.
We call this investigation the "Winter Soldier Investigation." The term "Winter Soldier" is a play on words of Thomas Paine in 1776 when he spoke of the Sunshine Patriot and summertime soldiers who deserted at Valley Forge because the going was rough. Kerry was relating other's testimony making Coulter's claim... a lie.
Ann: Cleland wore the uniform, he was in Vietnam, and he has shown courage by going on to lead a productive life. But he didn't "give his limbs for his country," or leave them "on the battlefield." There was no bravery involved in dropping a grenade on himself with no enemy troops in sight.
We'll leave aside the statement about Cleland "dropping a grenade on himself" which we know is a lie that Ann could have cleared up by doing more than her usual five minutes of research. But there was bravery in what Cleland did in Vietnam;
During his service in uniform, Max received the Silver Star Medal, one of the highest awards that can be given for gallantry in action. Listen to this citation:
“Captain Cleland distinguished himself by exceptionally valorous action on 4 April 1968 … during an enemy attack near Khe Sanh.
“When the battalion command post came under a heavy enemy rocket and mortar attack, Captain Cleland, disregarding his own safety, exposed himself to the rocket barrage as he left his covered position to administer first aid to his wounded comrades. He then assisted in moving the injured personnel to covered positions.
“Continuing to expose himself, Captain Cleland organized his men into a work party to repair the battalion communications equipment, which had been damaged by enemy fire.
“His gallant action is in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service, and reflects great credit upon himself, his unit and the United States Army.”
Those are not my words. That’s Uncle Sam talking.
And four days after that incident that earned him the Silver Star came the grenade explosion that so grievously wounded him. --Zell Miller
You see Cleland earned his Silver Star for bravery in the field, and not for losing his limbs picking up someone else's grenade. He was already a hero years before Bush jumped to the top of the TANG list and hid out in the National Guard prior to going AWOL.
Equating Max Cleland's service with George Bush's lack of the same isn't a lie. It's idiocy.
posted by tbogg at 1:56 PM
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If it's Friday...
It must be Atrocity Day:
Bypassing Senate Democrats who have stalled his judicial nominations, President Bush will use a recess appointment to put Alabama Attorney General William Pryor on the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals at least temporarily, government sources said Friday.
The White House began informing senators Friday afternoon of Bush's intention, said one Senate source, speaking on condition of anonymity.
Two White House officials, also speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed Bush's plan to install Pryor, and said a paper announcement was likely Friday afternoon.
After senators were informed by the White House, Pryor went to the federal courthouse in Montgomery, where he was expected to be sworn in by U.S. Circuit Judge Ed Carnes in a private ceremony.
[...]
Pryor, 41, is a founder of the Republican Attorneys General Association, which raises money for GOP attorneys general. At his confirmation hearing, he said he had not lobbied tobacco companies or companies under investigation by his office, but Democrats said they had documents showing Pryor may have been involved in some fund-raising activities.
Here's more on Kill Bill:
While Pryor argues that child convicts should be put to death with dispatch, he fervently draws the line at fetuses. "I will never forget January 22, 1973, the day seven members of our highest court ripped the Constitution up and ripped out the life of millions of unborn children," Pryor said in 1997. Indeed, he opposes abortion in almost every instance, including rape and incest. Pryor even backed a ludicrous bill in the Alabama legislature that would have appointed a lawyer to act as a guardian ad litem for the fetus of any woman considering an abortion.
His views haven't mellowed over time. "Abortion is murder and Roe v. Wade is an abominable decision," Pryor said last year. "I support the right to life of every unborn child."
Once those fetuses reach term, though, Pryor washes his hands of them, especially if they are poor or black. As attorney general he tried to undermine a consent decree aimed at improving Alabama's notorious state child welfare system, which stored troubled kids in abusive foster homes and wretched psychiatric wards. When asked about his maneuvers to shirk the requirements of the consent decree, Pryor cloaked it in the addled rhetoric of states rights. "It matters not to me whether the actions would leave children unprotected," Pryor said. "My job is to make sure that the state of Alabama isn't run by federal courts. My job isn't to come here and help children."
posted by tbogg at 12:09 PM
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I Don't Like The Drugs But The Drugs Like Me: Equivalency Edition
I think Rush is finally coming to grips with his where he ranks in the criminal hierarchy:
“The reason my medical records were seized is because there's a sense of desperation at the state attorney's office to get me on something, since this whole thing blew up and it's now known that immunity was given to known cocaine traffickers.”
Well, just so we know where you stand...
posted by tbogg at 11:38 AM
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It's not the spotlight, it's not the candlelight...
Bush twin Not-Jenna is coming out of her shell:
On Friday, Feb. 13, photographs of First Daughter Barbara Bush flopping like a wet noodle over the arm of Ecuadorian socialite Fabian Basabe at Sette on Seventh Avenue appeared on the front pages of the Daily News.
And into our usual Manhattan morning cup of steamed Schadenfreude fell a few drops of dismay, followed by a stiff chaser of nostalgia: for Amy Carter reading quietly in the Oval Office; for Susan Ford writing a column for Seventeen; even the quaint courtship of Julie Nixon and David Dwight Eisenhower II.
"Barbara is hot," Sette owner Bobby Malta excitedly told The Observer. "She’s a great dancer, she loves to party—she’s the perfect guest. I wish she’d come every night!"
"Barbara Bush was the sparkler on the soufflé," said publicist and society editor R. Couri Hay, who helped organize the party. "It added a lot of pizzazz; it was a special moment. The young social set got a close-up look at Barbara—they all loved her. She’s not boring. She’s not Chelsea Clinton. Although Chelsea is coming into her own right now …. "
Immersing yourself in the club scene at age twenty-one isn't an easy thing to do and can only be mastered by years of practice drinking and advanced partying techniques. Fortunately for Not-Jenna, it's in her blood...
(Thanks to tbogg gossip-hawk Anna)
posted by tbogg at 11:29 AM
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I also have twelve good buddies, I'm a virgin, and I like wood. Did I mention my stigmata?
Jim Caviezel, star of Mel Gibson's buddy-pic, Jesus Christ: We Were Saviors Once...And Hung, says that, well, really, it was typecasting:
James Caviezel, who plays Christ, said he got an equally eerie sign six months before he auditioned when a stranger came up to him and said, "You'll be playing Jesus."
Caviezel noted his initials are J.C. and was 33 - the same age as Jesus when he was killed. He said he's had fans bow down before him, and shrugged off the hardships of playing the physically demanding part.
"We're not called to the easy life," he said. "You either carry your cross, or you're crushed under the weight of it."
Other actors with J.C. initials include James Caan, James Coco, Jackie Chan, and Jim Carrey but he already made Bruce Almighty and didn't want to get stuck in the whole "playing God" thing over and over again.
(Added) Greg at The Talent Show has a little problem with Jesus verisimilitude.
posted by tbogg at 11:07 AM
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The mirror has two Mummies...
Is it Friday already?
Okay. If you're like me (and I'm sure you are, only a little bit taller) you've been waiting breathlessly all week to see if America's Worst Mother™ has finally snapped. Last week, you remember, Meghan was attempting to lure her children Peltandra, Sharona, Assiago, and Nit into The Bath of Swirly Pretty Waters of No Return when she was suddenly struck by the fact that what was pushing her over the edge wasn't her children (not that they're helping matters much) or her estranged husband, but the neighbors. Particularly that bitch, Capable Mother with her fancy-schmancy hamburger & noodle casseroles and her working toilets. At that point Meghan began cleaning her 223-caliber semiautomatic John Muhammad Signature Model™ Bushmaster rifle with big plans for making the neighborhood into a quieter more Meghan-friendly environment.
Well, sometime between last Friday and today Meghan's personality split into two very distinct halves represented by a hectoring devil on one shoulder and a slatternly but overachieving mother on the other:
"You implied it. Let me refresh your memory: 'The tyranny of birthday parties, like Soviet totalitarianism, has its origins in utopian happy-think. The road to Chuck E. Cheese is paved with good intentions.'"
"Well, it is. Dreadful place."
"So you admit it! Given your assertion that birthday parties are akin to Stalinism, or to hell, or both, I hope you will agree that logic dictates that such an enlightened person as yourself obviously would never throw a large, lavish birthday party for your ? what's that sound?"
"Nothing."
"Is that -- is someone singing?"
"I don't think so."
[There is a pause, in which small background voices can be clearly heard belting out "Happy Birthday to You."]
"Oh, that singing."
"Just as I thought. You're just as soppy and spineless as the next mother. You complain about other people throwing extravagant parties for their birthday boys and girls, but when it comes to precious little -- which precious is it this time?"
(With competing personalities arguing in her head and with a very specific mention of "the precious" I suppose I should make an obligatory mention of Gollum from Lord of the Rings...but I'm not going to because I never read the books, okay? So let's just try and stay on topic please....)
Anyway, Meghan has gone all Sybil on us and now the children of the neighborhood are at risk:
"You said eighteen children before."
"Four of them are mine."
" -- Fourteen families, then. And they bought presents, and wrapped them, and they drove through heavy traffic, and circled the block looking for a place to park, and handed their treasured three- and four-year-old cargo to you and what do you do? You whip their children into a frenzy with all this freeze-dancing, pass-the-parcel birthday nonsense, you fill them with sugar ? "
"I haven't!"
" -- practically sending them into diabetic shock ? "
So this is her plan. In a fit of life imitating art Meghan will deny the neighbors their children leaving them like the families of Sam Dent in The Sweet Hereafter only she won't kill the kids in a bus crash. Oh no, that would be too quick. Meghan wants it to be slow. Unfortunately Meghan underestimates the modern American child's capacity to consume massive amounts of sugar with no ill effect other than vibrating at speeds that would make a hummingbird woozy, and her plan goes awry and the children go berserk:
"The thing is, Molly wants to start her own business making cakes. She's done up a little stack of hand-lettered business cards, and everything, and I thought that for the greater entrepreneurial good of Molly and Shelly, for the greater convenience of me, and for the greater birthday fun of Violet, who is after all a social person, that we could have a one-time blowout, invite her whole class, and -- "
[There is another pause. In the background, children can be heard shrieking in a rhythmic fashion reminiscent of the fatal scenes in Lord of the Flies.]
At this point the long absent Mr. Gurdon makes, what turns out to be, an ultimately tragic appearance, stumbling in from another night of cheap booze and even cheaper women. Led by Assiago, the embittered Gurdon children and their diminutive guests assault the philandering boozehound:
"Uh-oh, I think they've got my husband! Yes, there's his face -- hello darling -- oops, now it's gone. He's -- he's submerged under a seething wave of nursery-school children, like Gulliver -- "
Oh, the humanity! Meghan Gurdon in her desire to inflict pain on the neighborhood has instead set in motion what can only be described as a Tiny Tots Theater production of Suddeny, Last Summer in her living room, with her husband in the role of Sebastian Venable.
Next week: Morphine for Daddy and Antipsychotics for Mummy.
posted by tbogg at 9:59 AM
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Thursday, February 19, 2004
A little help here? Thanks.
I'm not a writer and I don't pretend to play one on my blog, but I do have an abiding respect for anyone who can not only write well but make a living at it. So when I hear about someone like Evan Morris who could use a little help, well, I think it's neighborly to pitch in. Here's Evan's story:
A funny thing happened last week. Actually, it wasn't funny at all. A few months ago I started getting strange stomach upsets when I ate, sort of a weird bloating effect that hurt a lot and kept me up all night when it happened. Then it started to happen more and more frequently, eventually nearly every day, so I did what any rational person would do: I pretty much stopped eating. Bad idea. I lost 15 pounds over the course of two months or so and the pain just got much worse, until finally Mrs. Word Detective, who had been trying to get me to go to a doctor for quite a while, convinced me to go to the hospital.
This seems a good time to mention that The Great State of Ohio is one of those states that allows health insurance companies to refuse to offer you coverage, which they did to us several years ago. We had good coverage through the Authors Guild when we lived in NYC (where insurance companies can charge you out the wazoo but can't refuse coverage entirely), but since we moved out here we have had no insurance.
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, it developed that I had a severely inflamed gall bladder and needed immediate surgery. So they yanked the little sucker out in the nick of time (it was three times normal size and the surgeon said he didn't understand why I was still walking around and not, like, dead), leaving me with four incisions that look like bullet wounds, and sent me home six hours later. Total time in hospital = 22 hours. I wasn't in intensive care, and I didn't even get a real room, just a glorified closet with the bathroom 50 feet down the hall to which I would stagger trailing my IV pole behind me. But I seem to be all right now, although it still hurts when I cough or sneeze.
And then the other shoe dropped. Bills have begun to arrive. So far, they amount to (is everyone sitting down?) a little over $22,000. That's twenty-two thousand dollars. For 22 hours in the hospital. And we haven't received the surgeon's bill yet.
This strikes me as absolutely insane. Twenty-two thousand dollars? That's close to the advance on my last book, which took me most of a year to write. We don't have anywhere near that amount of money. But something tells me the hospital plans to get its money one way or another. As in take away our house.
Go stop by Evan's website and give what you can. You don't really need that sixpack of Old Milwaukee this weekend. In fact, you look like you've put on a few....
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