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Saturday, October 30, 2004
I'll be home for Christm--- not so fast there, Sparky.
George Bush had better hope these guys already sent in their absentee ballots:
The Army has extended by two months the Iraq tours of about 6,500 soldiers, citing a need for experienced troops through the Iraqi elections scheduled for late January.
No official statement was released, but the Pentagon’s public affairs office posted an article on its Web site Saturday that said 3,500 soldiers of the 2nd Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, and 3,000 from the 1st Infantry Division headquarters will remain in Iraq at least two months longer than planned.
The Army had scheduled those units for 10-month deployments, rather than the usual 12-month tours, to stagger the rotation of forces in and out of Iraq this winter to avoid overburdening transportation systems. Instead they will remain to provide security through the elections.
The Pentagon article spoke of “the troops’ frustration” over having their tours extended. It said some of the soldiers had been told they would be leaving Iraq as early as November. Instead they will stay through January.
posted by tbogg at 9:40 AM
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Friday, October 29, 2004
Make it a dozen and I'll throw in a kid.
We had thought that this week's America's Worst Mother™ would be about the horrible things that Meghan and her clutch of children (Praline, Uric, Chifarobe, and I Told You I Was Ovulating) were planning for the neighbor children on Halloween. But Meghan has other plans, realizing that she could do much more damage to the neighborhood by having a bakesale.
And what a bakesale it is, full of witty signage slogans supplied by readers of NRO, or at least by the ones with the opposable thumbs (which kind of rules out Clifford May) who were able to figure out this internets thing and send them in.
"The Right Bake Sale in the Right Place at the Right Time!" I read aloud in a voice like a circus barker's.
"Liberally Packed with Goodies, Conservatively Priced!"
"These Cakes Pass the Global Test"
"A Vast Icing Conspiracy!"
I'll pause here while you take a deep breath and wipe the tears of mirth from your eyes...or stop cringing. Whichever...
Okay. Anyway Meghan is having this "Bipartisan Bakesale" to help celebrate a local park that she probably won't let her kids visit because they'll most likely get their asses kicked for talking like Martin Prince and calling her "mummy" and the livingroom: the "sitting room". But with an election around the corner, Meghan feels the need to bake the Macaroons of World Peace because we're all getting so darned polarized:
The nice thing for me, what with buying all the red-white-and-blue bunting, and laying in vast supplies of butter, sugar, dried cherries, chocolate chunks, pumpkin puree, allspice, and walnuts sufficient to pave the National Mall, to make many dozens of Laura Bush's Oatmeal Chocolate-Chunk Cookies and Teresa Heinz Kerry's Pumpkin Spice Cookies, and drawing these posters, is that it redirects my anxieties away the desperate contest that has caused all of Washington — and, I expect, much of the country — to walk around these last few days with one hand cupped protectively over its collective chest, as though we are all in the midst of a long-running, badly-intensifying heart attack, which, unfortunately, we are.
I've been surprised by how much adrenaline shoots through me when I see a "Redefeat Bush" or "Bush/Satan" bumper sticker. It's like getting jabbed in the chest by some angry stranger's forefinger; it's being on the receiving end of the sort of public excitability that used to be the lonely realm of frothing end-timers. Now grandmothers walk around wearing insulting buttons and bird-flipping tee shirts. The other morning I was forced into proximity with an aged dame who was wearing a shirt with a picture of an elephant crossed out and the slogan, "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican." Whatever happened to United We Stand?
I think that went out the window with "You're either with us or against us" but I'll have to check my notes.
And what would a AWM™ column be without a Father Knows Best cameo by Mr. Meghan:
"This one is good," my husband remarks, pausing by the dining-room table where Molly and I have strewn markers, scissors, and construction paper. "Chewy Defeats Truman." What else have you got?"
[...]
"Enough," my husband demurs, warding off the attack of baked goods. He disappears upstairs...
Son Uric capers by doing something manly because, well, you know...:
"Bleah," puts in the equable Paris, as he dribbles a soccer ball through the dining room, under the piano, and into the sitting room. "Hey," I chide automatically, "That is not an indoor toy."
...and youngest daughter and burgeoning criminal I Told You I Was Ovulating shows off her tagging skillz:
I am musing cheerfully in this outraged fashion, when Paris rushes back into the dining room.
"Uh, oh, look what a Naughty Girl di-id!" he cries, waving a large hand-lettered now-besmeared red-white-and-blue poster that reads, "A Nation Bitterly Divided Still Loves Sweet Treats!"
"Phoebe!" I squawk, correctly, capping my marker and seizing the sacred signage. "Oh, argh. Sweetheart, why did you scribble on Mummy's poster?"
"I didn't scribble," she says with dignity, swishing her tail with one hand. "It's a princess picture. For you."
Okay. Whatever you say kid...
Next week: The CDC investigates an outbreak of muffin dysentery...
posted by tbogg at 9:18 PM
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Grab on to this straw. I think it will keep us all afloat...
It looks like our old buddy Roger Simon has moved on to the third stage of My Party Left Me and All I Got Was An Audience of Yokels: bargaining (which was preceded by fear and anger and will be soon be followed by depression and President John Kerry):
Belmont Club is correct in saying that this Bin Laden (the latest tape's iteration) seems to want a cease fire of some kind:
[...]
Well, we all know what side Wretchard and I are on. But what's interesting is how this post dovetails with John Kelly's already cited here. The peculiar moveon.org rhetoric of this new Bin Laden sounds as if it wasn't written by BL at all, but by some group with an eye cocked on Tuesday. That the CIA has vaguely verified the tape means little. They always have. As many have noted, they have a continuing interest in the existence of a live Bin Laden. Both sides do.
But then, I could be wrong... It probably won't be the first time in the last five minutes.
Roger has now turned his back on the Democratic Party, progressives, fellow Jews, the monolithic mainstream media, and now the CIA. With nowhere to turn, he and Wretchard think that bin Laden is negotiating a ceasefire, which would be strange since our war with him is so far on the backburner that you couldn't soften wax with it. So, in the interest of spinning the bin Laden tape, Roger divines some sort of mastermind behind the mastermind. A secretive puppetmaster that can bend bin Laden to his will in order to shape future events and change history with a mere crook of his finger. I think his name is Osama bin Rove.
Fortunately the election is in a few days and, should Kerry win, maybe Roger can take some time off to cool down and lower his blood pressure. And maybe, just maybe, when the world breathes a sigh of relief that the adults are back in charge, Roger can get back to blogging about the stuff he really knows about. Like that time he and Cathy Seipp ran into Army Archerd at the Beverly-Wilshire Coldstone.
That was cool.
posted by tbogg at 8:18 PM
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We don't know what we don't know but we will know when we stop not knowing what we don't know, you know.
Wonkette has the transcript from the most inept press conference EVER.
I can't imagine anyone from the Pentagon walking away from that one going, "Well. That went pretty well, don't you think?".
posted by tbogg at 1:56 PM
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Like a big red, white, and blue sneeze
How can we expect him to run a country if he can't even run a campaign stop. From Drudge:
BUSH EVENT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE: Event workers had been told to fire off confetti pods when Bush said, 'God Bless'... his normal closing line. But 5 minutes before the end of his speech, Bush offered a "God Bless" to Arlene Howard, mother of George Howard a Port Authority of New York/New Jersey Police Officer killed in the World Trade Center... BLAM!!!!! Everyone first ducked -- hard -- then looked up to see confetti falling. Bush looked momentarily stunned, then plain unhappy, then just went on with his speech as the confetti rained to the floor of the Verizon Wireless Arena... Developing...
Bush looking stunned.....hmmm.... that's unusual.
posted by tbogg at 1:36 PM
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Quick wrap-up until AWM™
If, and it's a big if, George W. Bush wins next week, will Dick Cheney metastasize into Spiro Agnew? All signs point to: you betcha. You know, I think it was Kevin Drum who said that he thought that a second Bush term would generally be filled with scandal revelations. Looks like they're getting an early start.
Steve Gilliard shows us that the Bush campaign is trying to sell the president by highlighting the slaughter of 3000 Americans on his watch. I dunno. Let's face it, Bush is to 9/11 what Bill Janklow is auto safety.
Kos points out that the Bushies are using a John Hall song to promote their boy apparently unaware that Hall was one of the organizers behind the No Nukes/MUSE concert in 1979. Bush was probably at the concert but doesn't remember since '79 was the year that he was experimenting with mushrooms dusted with horse tranquilizers. Good times...good times...
...and finally Lucianne Goldberg makes a surprise visit to the Corner embarassing Jonah just like she's been embarassing all of humanity for years.
"Dude. That's your mom?"
posted by tbogg at 11:14 AM
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
The Bush Bulge...no, not that one that gets Chris Matthews moist.
Salon has the goods on President Not So Fast On His Feet.
posted by tbogg at 11:16 PM
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Friday-ish Basset Blogging
Well, it's Friday somewhere.
 Basset Clue: Satchmo & Beckham...in the kitchen...with two pans of lasagna above... 
posted by tbogg at 11:08 PM
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Somehow I thought the Rapture would be a little less painful... like watching George Lopez
World O'Crap explains how, when the Rapture comes, God will plunge a knife into the heads of the true believers, cut out a jagged bloody piece, reach in and grab the sweetbreads and rip them out by the roots, and then stick a candle in the hollowed-out core which will then cast a dim light (dimmer than usual) on Heaven.
I bet Hieronymus Bosch is just kicking himself for not thinking of that one.
posted by tbogg at 9:20 AM
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A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to be Free* Who knew Roger Simon's blog was designed as flypaper for loonies? From his comments: “Roger, you don't trust the NYT but THE WASHINGTON TIMES is a credible newspaper? REV MOON anyone?”
The Washington Times is a very careful and thorough journalistic organization. Rev. Moon is indeed a very strange individual, if not even downright weird---but he has nothing to do with running the newspaper. Moon is similar in this respect to the church leaders who apparently still own the Christian Science Monitor. And yes, The Washington Times is far more reliable than The New York Times. It earns our respect. So much so, that one is hard pressed to point out any major blunders by any of its journalists. Are there any? There's not enough bandwidth in all of the internets to begin answering that... *Headline compliments of the late great Elliot Smith.
posted by tbogg at 1:47 AM
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Me likely Scott McClellan
From Wednesday's gaggle:
Q Do you say that the regime, that the Saddam Hussein regime was still capable of moving tons of explosives around the country after the U.S. invaded?
MR. McCLELLAN: I'm not saying that. I'm saying -- military leaders have said that. Our military leaders have said that. I think that's a fact. This was a regime that operated in that fashion. They had munitions -- munition caches all across the country. They moved munitions around.
Q But isn't it more likely that they were looted? There were reports of looters on the scene after --
MR. McCLELLAN: -- based on what?
Q I believe the military said that they found looters at the scene, after the invasion.
MR. McCLELLAN: It's more likely, how can you make that statement?
Q Because the military said there were looters at the site.
MR. McCLELLAN: They didn't say it was more likely.
Q They said that looters were --
MR. McCLELLAN: The words you said were, "more likely." This just shows that -- Senator Kerry's own advisors says he doesn't -- that they don't know the truth, he doesn't know the truth, yet he's willing to say anything for his own political advantage. And you said, "very likely." You don't know that.
Q No, no, no. What you said was that it was likely that the regime moved this around at some point even after the U.S. invaded.
MR. McCLELLAN: That's a likely possibility, that the regime could have removed those explosives before that time period.
Q But what I'm saying is that there are military reports that looters receive at the site, after the invasion. So doesn't that make it more likely that there were looters?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, no, no, who said that?
Q The military reported looters at the --
MR. McCLELLAN: What's your source?
Q The U.S. military.
MR. McCLELLAN: Show me the source. I'll be glad to --
Q Scott, if you don't know, either, how can you say it's likely?
MR. McCLELLAN: That's what I said -- no, that it is a likely possibility.
Q Likely.
MR. McCLELLAN: No, it is a likely possibility, because of the way the regime operated. And I think commanders have talked about that, as well.
Q Maybe it's a possibility, but I don't --
MR. McCLELLAN: I think the military doesn't -- the material -- the military doesn't know -- well, because all during that time period there was the time -- that was the time period when they could have. And that's why I said, the military doesn't know what happened to those explosives, neither does Senator Kerry. Yet Senator -- the issue here, now, is that it just goes to show the pattern by Senator Kerry that he will say anything, even when he doesn't know the truth, for his own political advantage.
A likely story...
posted by tbogg at 1:32 AM
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When they find the big hairy feet, give me a call.
With the release next month of the extended version of The Return of the King (which features an additional 50 minutes of footage, including 27 more closing scenes where you think the frigging thing is finally over...but it's not, goddamit) , I guess it's just our luck that scientists recently found a hobbit-sized skeleton.
The finding on a remote Indonesian island has stunned anthropologists like no other in recent memory. It is a fundamentally new creature that bears more of a resemblance to fictional, barefooted hobbits than modern humans.
Yet biologically speaking, it may have been closely related to us and perhaps even shared its caves with our ancestors.
Forensic specialists were called in and, using one of the discovered skulls, they were able to recreate the appearance of the so-called " Homo floresiensis". Anthropologists speculate that he may have vanished because the female of the species found him "unappealing, unattractive, full of himself and not much of a hunter and gatherer so much as a whiner and a kibbitzer."
posted by tbogg at 1:23 AM
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Life, art... that imitating thing
When I saw this picture of some Bush supporters, I remembered that I promised my daughter to pick up a copy of this sometime this week.
Not that people who would vote for Bush are mindless flesh-eating zombies. It would be wrong to infer that...
So I won't.
You, on the other hand, can infer what you want, and, please, no angry emails from mindless flesh-eating zombies.
posted by tbogg at 1:09 AM
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
The Otter Defense
Political Animal Kevin Drum calls it " beneath contempt":
George Bush is trying to suggest that John Kerry's criticism of the policies that led to the Al-qaqaa explosives debacle is actually a veiled denigration of the American troops in Iraq. Via email from the Kerry campaign, here's what General Merrill McPeak, former chief of staff of the Air Force, has to say about this:
The President seems to think Senator Kerry could not possibly be criticizing him since the President thinks he has never made a mistake. Let’s be perfectly clear: it is the President who dropped the ball. Senator Kerry is being critical of George Bush, not the troops. By embarking on the line of attack, George Bush is deflecting blame from him over to the military. This is beneath contempt.
He's right. It's the Bush campaign pushing the line that criticism of the president's policies is criticism of the troops. It really is beneath contempt.
...but to us aficionados of the lowbrow, it is quite obvious that Bush is actually employing the time-tested Otter Defense:
Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules or took a few liberties with our female party guests -- we did. But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you ... isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!
posted by tbogg at 10:54 PM
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Mildred's Bulldog Edition
More sensible than Misha and with surprisingly less drooling...
(Sorry, I won't link to Misha's blog, at least until he's had his rabies, distemper, and parvo shots.)
posted by tbogg at 10:34 PM
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It's a party in Florida...
..where a game of Pin the Tail On The Father Of The Lesbian goes horribly awry.
Meanwhile a man forgets that life isn't Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and tries to run down a hooker with his car.
By the way, after Kerry wins, can we cut Florida loose? Even the banana republics are starting to smirk...
Added: Julia has more on Florida as well as Nevada and Ohio. Damn, I'm glad I live in a blue state.
posted by tbogg at 10:13 PM
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The view from the curb
As Presidente Barracho Y Loco fires up Operation Manhood just in time for the weekend before the election ("Chamberlain! Make me look Commander in Chief-ish, and be quick about it!") it's only natural that one of the NCO's of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders™ shouts "huzzah!" from the rumpus room, before going upstairs to watch That 70's Show reruns:
TAKING FALLUJAH: The New York Times reports that the U.S. military is preparing a massive assault on Fallujah. It is time.
I’m tempted to say it is long past time. Terrorists have lorded it over that town with impunity for months. It cannot stand. There’s an upshot to this, however. A recent article in the Washington Post suggests we are winning at least some hearts and minds by letting the thugs show the locals what they are made of.
[...]
Fallujah is ripe for the picking. Even if it weren’t, the so-called Iraqi “resistance” there has gone unopposed long enough.
The U.S. cannot be defeated on any battlefield. I can only hope the Bush Administration and the interim Iraqi government don’t pause in the middle to talk. They need to remember who we are fighting. The enemy has no demands we can give in to. As Christopher Hitchens recently put it, terrorism “is the tactic of demanding the impossible, and demanding it at gunpoint.”
Remember Napoleon’s words to the wise: “If you start to take Vienna – take Vienna.” (my emphasis on the we's)
Remember also the wise words of Salvador Dali:
"Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die."
posted by tbogg at 9:25 PM
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Crushing of dissent by Blogger
Sorry for the lack of posting but Blogger has been FuBushed since last night. Too bad...I had some friggin' brilliant stuff too. Pulitzer quality. No. Really.
Back later today...
posted by tbogg at 1:54 PM
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Fight his own war, let him impress daddy that way
Lyrics to Mosh
posted by tbogg at 8:55 PM
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When Libertarians go bad...
The Chuckie Cheese kids who have taken over at InstaHehIndeed are so cute when they throw out their deeply held beliefs because they've painted themselves into a corner:
STICKER SHOCK The article I linked below contains some cost comparisons:
Yale University economist William D. Nordhaus estimated that in inflation-adjusted terms, World War I cost just under $200 billion for the United States. The Vietnam War cost about $500 billion from 1964 to 1972, Nordhaus said. The cost of the Iraq war could reach nearly half that number by next fall, 2 1/2 years after it began.
How could that be? World War I and Vietnam were both much, much larger efforts than the current conflict, so how come this one costs so much? The answer is that we're substituting capital for labor: we use a lot more equipment, and a lot fewer men. Since destroyed equipment is a lot easier to replace than destroyed people, it's a price I'm very glad to pay.
posted at 11:24 AM by Megan McArdle
A HEARTENING SIGN FOR HAWKS The administration is apparently planning to ask for $70 billion more for the war in Iraq, which will bring the total price tag to about $225 billion. Yes, that's a lot of money, but on the other hand, remember when folks like Eric Alterman were telling us it was going to cost trillions?
The war has cost more than I think I thought it would (I don't remember ever assigning it an exact price tag), but if it succeeds in building a democracy in the middle east, it will be well worth the cost. And the administration's willingness to throw around a big figure like this the week before the election shows me that they're taking it seriously--and compares very favourably to John Kerry's political opportunism on the issue.
posted at 11:21 AM by Megan McArdle
posted by tbogg at 8:58 AM
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Monday, October 25, 2004
Writing about what you know
The Autobiography of David Brooks
...except for the part about women undressing him with their eyes.
Ick.
posted by tbogg at 10:52 PM
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Too stupid to live, much less be allowed to vote
I really do believe that we get the government we deserve, but no one deserves to get the government we end up with because of people like this:
Kimberly Parmer, 33, who works as a human resources manager in western Michigan, said the emphasis on national security issues had distorted the campaign.
"I don't think terrorism is as big a threat as everyone is making it out to be," Ms. Parmer said. "Yes, we have had a couple of incidents, but other countries have hundreds every year. Iraq is important, but so are things like Social Security and Medicare. Neither one has really touched on those subjects because no one is going to be happy, no matter what you do."
Ms. Parmer, who said she is firmly planted in "the very low middle class," also saw the Bush tax cut as poorly timed. She normally votes for Democrats, she said, but is not sure this time.
"One is too polished; the other one, I think to be honest, I don't know how he ever got to be president," Ms. Parmer said. "I am really surprised he has gotten as far as he has in life. I do think he's honest."
Even so, Ms. Parmer said, she thought she might vote for Mr. Bush. "If you actually look at him, and he stands up next to Kerry, you just kind of feel sorry for him," she said. "I feel he's more of an underdog, he's had a hard go of it in the last four years."
(Thanks to David)
posted by tbogg at 10:40 PM
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Seriously
To all of those fence-straddlers and those who voted-for-Gore-before-but-Bush-has-a-better-handle-on-fighting-terrorism-than-Kerry folks...
How are we supposed to take you seriously after this?:
"On October 10, the IAEA received a declaration from the Iraqi Ministry of Science and Technology informing us that approximately 350 [metric] tons of high explosive material had gone missing,” Fleming said. The 350 metric tons is equivalent to 380 U.S. tons.
Whereabouts a mystery
The Iraqis told the nuclear agency the materials had been stolen and looted because of a lack of security at government installations, said Fleming, who said the IAEA feared “that these explosives could have fallen into the wrong hands.”
At the Pentagon, an official who monitors developments in Iraq said U.S.-led coalition troops had searched Al-Qaqaa in the immediate aftermath of the March 2003 invasion and confirmed that the explosives, which had been under IAEA seal since 1991, were intact. The site was not secured by U.S. forces, the official said, speaking on condition of anonymity.
On the other hand, all of the post-it notes at the Iraqi Oil Ministry have been accounted for....
posted by tbogg at 10:42 AM
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Saturday, October 23, 2004
Shorter Michelle Malkin
The unemployed should view their situation as an opportunity to deny their children things while I view it as an opportunity to make fun of them.
posted by tbogg at 9:48 AM
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Doodles
Reader Bruce directs me to these.
You could easily kill an hour reading through them, and it's not like you have anything better to do on a Saturday morning...
posted by tbogg at 8:21 AM
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Friday, October 22, 2004
I dunno. That guy looks African to me....
William Rehnquist must be mighty proud of Ohio Republicans:
Republican Party officials in Ohio took formal steps yesterday to place thousands of recruits inside polling places on Election Day to challenge the qualifications of voters they suspect are not eligible to cast ballots.
[...]
Ohio election officials said they had never seen so large a drive to prepare for Election Day challenges. They said they were scrambling yesterday to be ready for disruptions in the voting process as well as alarm and complaints among voters. Some officials said they worried that the challenges could discourage or even frighten others waiting to vote.
Ohio Democrats were struggling to match the Republicans' move, which had been rumored for weeks. Both parties had until 4 p.m. to register people they had recruited to monitor the election. Republicans said they had enlisted 3,600 by the deadline, many in heavily Democratic urban neighborhoods of Cleveland, Dayton and other cities. Each recruit was to be paid $100.
[...]
Republican officials said they had no intention of disrupting voting but were concerned about the possibility of fraud involving thousands of newly registered Democrats.
"The organized left's efforts to, quote unquote, register voters - I call them ringers - have created these problems," said James P. Trakas, a Republican co-chairman in Cuyahoga County.
Somehow I believe that "ringers" isn't the word that Trakas wanted to use...but all the letters are there, and then some.
Ohio election officials said that by state law, the parties' challengers would have to show "reasonable" justification for doubting the qualifications of a voter before asking a poll worker to question that person. And, the officials said, challenges could be made on four main grounds: whether the voter is a citizen, is at least 18, is a resident of the county and has lived in Ohio for the previous 30 days.
Elections officials in Ohio said they hoped the criteria would minimize the potential for disruption. But Democrats worry that the challenges will inevitably delay the process and frustrate the voters.
"Our concern is Republicans will be challenging in large numbers for the purpose of slowing down voting, because challenging takes a long time,'' said David Sullivan, the voter protection coordinator for the national Democratic Party in Ohio. "And creating long lines causes our people to leave without voting.''
Here are some of the guys who want to run out the clock on election day.
White punks in suits.
posted by tbogg at 10:49 PM
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Following the Commander in Chief's lead
The hell with the draft, we can't even get the soldiers to report:
More than 800 former soldiers have failed to comply with Army orders to get back in uniform and report for duty in Iraq or Afghanistan, the Army said Friday. That is more than one-third of the total who were told to report to a mobilization station by October 17.
Three weeks ago the number stood at 622 amid talk that any who refused to report for duty could be declared Absent Without Leave. Refusing to report for duty normally would lead to AWOL charges, but the Army is going out of its way to resolve these cases as quietly as possible.
In all, 4,166 members of the Individual Ready Reserve have received mobilization orders since July 6, of which 2,288 were to have reported by October 17. The others are to report in coming weeks and months.
Of those due to have reported by now, 1,445 have done so, but 843 have neither reported nor asked for a delay or exemption.
I hear they're all down in Alabama helping out in Richard Shelby's campaign...although no one has seen them yet...
posted by tbogg at 10:23 PM
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Best wishes...
Before I forget, Happy Birthday today to my mom from whom I learned to stick the needle in with an innocent smile.
And Happy 13th Birthday to the best pop album ever recorded.
posted by tbogg at 10:12 PM
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Actually, physical trainers forcing me to do sit-ups would be really really scary...
Olympic Gold Medal Couch Fungus, Jonah Goldberg is unimpressed by the the lil' wolfie ad:
Several readers have commented that the wolves in the ad are too warm and fuzzy. I kind of agree, though I'm sure it's partly my canine-urban biases. Still, sharks circling around would be scarier.
If you really want to put a death grimace on Jonah's face, just grab the last danish in the box while he's reaching for it.
Oh, the humanity...
posted by tbogg at 9:58 PM
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Late to the party
I'll admit it. I got liberal-wood when I saw the video of ManHandAnn almost getting pied in Arizona. And I was all set to go all droll about it...until I saw that the master beat me to it and, as usual was better than I could even dream of. This is so good:
When a pair of hooligans tried to attack her with pies during a speaking appearance, an episode broadcast on cable news today, Coulter didn't freeze like a deer in the headlights. She showed lightning reflexes, ducking away from the lectern and running backstage on high heels, which any woman will tell you is difficult to do. Because of her quick getaway, the flying pies wildly missed their target, sparing her a humiliating cream pie bukkake facial that would have made the papers and been downloaded millions of times on the internet.
If six of the funniest bloggers on the internets (all of them) put their heads together, they still wouldn't have come up with "humiliating cream pie bukkake facial".
Oh. And if anyone is hosting a site to help pay the aforementioned hooligans fine, let me know. We'll have us a little fundraiser.
posted by tbogg at 8:30 PM
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Friday Night Basset Blogging
 Women and dogs sleeping together. It's just this kind of thing that gets Rick Santorum all squirmy in his tightie-whities....
posted by tbogg at 8:24 PM
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The Bad Seed
Those of you who have been following the antics of America's Worst Mother™ and her posse of poppets (Sand Dab, Tempranillo, Diopter, and Puck) may remember two weeks ago when daughter Diopter started showing signs of incipient juvenile rebellion which Meghan convinced herself was the result of a fever. This week the ugly truth rears it's head:
"Dee-dee?" Molly inquires in her most sugary tones, "Do you have my watch?"
"It's my watch!" Phoebe replies crossly, hugging a large orange satchel closer to her chest and nearly knocking over her juice.
Molly's face darkens. She drops her things and advances on the dining table. "Give it to me."
"It's mine!"
"Give it to — Mummy!"
"Phoebs," I say, "Please give Molly her watch."
"Okay," the tiny thief replies all mildness, as if unaware of any controversy. She rummages in her bag, pulls out a small stuffed rabbit, the sash to a terrycloth bathrobe, a dog-eared ABC book, the permission slip —
"There it is!" Paris shouts.
— and finally the watch, which she hands to her elder sister. Molly receives the object with exasperation. "Mummy, will you please explain to Phoebe that she is not allowed to take things from other people's desks?"
"My darling," I say, drawing succor from my coffee cup, "I have. And I will. Again." Like King Canute in heels, I have been trying to hold back the tide of thievery, the flood of pilfering, that threatens to wash away all our household's most precious and useful items. I speak, of course, of Phoebe, the toddler tsunami.
Now we know that Diopter is the fourth little Gurdon but we can't help being reminded of Doris Lessing's The Fifth Child:
From Publishers Weekly
A smug, conservative couple's fifth child (after four model children) inspires fear and horror. "The implications of this slim, gripping work are ominous," wrote PW. Lessing indicts those in authority who refuse to acknowledge responsibility for the violence inherent in mankind.
Back to the Gurdons:
"My PASSPORT!"
My yells draw the curious looks of well-groomed children and parents unloading their vehicles with the serenity borne of not having a juvenile delinquent in the family.
"Phoebe," I say urgently, crouching before her, "Never, ever take anything from Mummy's desk ever again. Do you understand?"
"Okay, Mummy," she promises gravely, and then flashes a wide smile, and just for an instant I think I perceive — though it's gone so fast I can't be absolutely sure — that this smile is ever so faintly tinged with a cool-eyed awareness that she, in the guise of an adorable platinum-haired three-year-old, has once again succeeded in outsmarting me, a much-less adorable and slow-moving senior figure, by half-persuading me that she didn't know perfectly well what she was doing when she pinched my passport off my desk and slipped it into her pocket (though she cannot of course know precisely what a passport is), when she did.
"That's all right then," I say a little shakily, and zip the precious document into a compartment in my handbag.
"We'd better — " I am starting to urge, with a glance at my watch, when, fatally, Phoebe drops her hand ever so casually over her pocket.
"Aha!" I expostulate like a gray-whiskered detective in a period drama. "What else have you got in there?"
Long-lost business cards. A roll of 37-cent stamps. My Visa card. I exchange horrified looks with Molly and Paris, and address the volatile bandit with a reasonable, now-give-me-the-gun attitude.
Somehow I'm sure that give-me-the-gun attitude may come into play quite soon at what will eventually become known as the Ms. Morrow's Academy for Extraordinary Toddlers Incident.
Then we'll just shake our heads and mutter, "Yeah. It's always the quite ones..."
Next week: " Jeremy Diopter spoke in class today..."
posted by tbogg at 10:47 AM
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Thursday, October 21, 2004
Thursday Night Baseball Blogging
 The last Astro...Casey at bat
Congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals and the Boston Red Sox.
Go Sox.
posted by tbogg at 10:12 PM
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One of these hunters is not like the other...
Dick Cheney ( WHOSE DAUGHTER IS A LESBIAN) attacks John Kerry for being a real hunter:
Vice President Dick Cheney poked fun at Sen. John Kerry's goose hunting Thursday, arguing that the image of the gun-toting, camouflaged Democrat was an "October disguise" that masked his voting record against gun rights.
Just hours after Kerry shot a goose during an early-morning hunt in Boardman, Ohio, near Youngstown, the vice president told supporters in another part of the state that the outing was nothing more than a photo opportunity to hide the four-term Massachusetts senator's record.
[...]
"My fellow sportsmen, this cover-up isn't going to work," Cheney said, speaking to supporters in an upscale Toledo suburb that borders the Ohio-Michigan state line. "The Second Amendment is more than just a photo opportunity."
Fellow sportsmen?
Here how Dick hunts:
For the second time in two years, Vice President Dick Cheney arrived at daybreak at Arnold Palmer Airport in Latrobe. Air traffic was halted briefly at about 7 a.m. as Air Force Two landed and Cheney's security detail loaded him and his favorite shotgun into a Humvee and drove up U.S. Route 30 to the exclusive country club.
"All I'm allowed to say is there's a big military plane on the ramp, and it's not the first time I've seen it there," said airport manager Gabe Monzo.
Cheney shot more than 70 ringneck pheasants and an unknown number of mallard ducks. The birds were plucked and vacuum-packed in time for Cheney's afternoon flight to Washington, D.C.
John Smith, law enforcement supervisor for the Pennsylvania Game Commission, said he was alerted to Cheney's day-trip. Rolling Rock has a game-raising program worthy of a second-in-command, he said, and unlicensed bird hunting is legal this time of year for guests at private clubs.
Scott Wakefield, a dog handler at the club, said about 500 farm-raised pheasants were released from nets for the morning hunt. The 10-man hunting party that included Cheney shot 417 pheasants. The vice president was set to hunt ducks in the afternoon.
That's not the sign of a hunter. That's a flatulent old man getting his blood jollies.
(I wrote about this way back when...)
posted by tbogg at 9:46 PM
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The People's Republic of California says "No way, dude" to George Bush
This is why the candidates never visit or call:
While President Bush (news - web sites) has reestablished a slight lead over Kerry in some recent national polls, Kerry's support in California has grown as the number of undecided voters has dropped.
Those describing themselves as undecided have shrunk to a mere 2% of likely voters, down from 5% in September, and Kerry was the beneficiary: The U.S. senator from Massachusetts was the choice of 58% of likely voters, a slight increase from last month's 55%. Support for Bush remained flat at 40% in the poll, which has a margin of error of three percentage points in either direction.
Both Kerry and Bush scored well among their own party faithful, but Kerry was the clear favorite among the independent voters who dictate the outcome of elections in California. He won 59% of them, while Bush won 35%. Overall, only 4% of likely voters said they might still change their minds, down from 6% in September, indicating that the thin stream of political uncertainty that courses elsewhere in the nation is running dry in California.
[...]
Californians' dislike for Bush's policies on everything from Iraq (news - web sites) to the economy propelled support for Kerry. Even Bush's signature national issue — terrorism — worked against him in California, where nearly three in five likely voters disapproved of his handling of the war on terror. Overall, voters were split over whether Kerry or Bush would best keep the country safe from terrorists.
"Four years ago, Bush lost the state by 12 points, and this year the president has not made any inroads into having voters support him for president," said Susan Pinkus, director of the Times Poll. "In fact, the president is losing by an even larger margin."
About 57% of likely voters disapproved of Bush's general job performance, a slight uptick from 55% a month ago. But the sentiment was more intense, with 50% saying they "strongly disapproved" of Bush, up from 45% a month ago.
posted by tbogg at 2:12 PM
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Sean Hannity: A Punk Who Likes To Slap Around Girls
The man is a sleazebag without any of the redeeming qualities one might find in sleaze.
posted by tbogg at 1:40 PM
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Scratch a Lilek, find a mommy
Looks like someone is retaining water and is just a tiny bit hormonal today:
Vacation now, you wonder? Pshaw. It’s not like taking care of a child is a job. No, I’m just a shambling lump of barely animate flesh who cohabitates with a tot. Granted, I make the meals – I know Gnat’s preferences in detail, including the daily negotiations to get her to eat her carrots and why it is necessary to have Craisens on hand for the days carrot-talks break down with a frank and open exchange of views. I do all the shopping, which means I am the Craisens procurer, as well as the one who stocks all the other things she wants or should have. I know how much TV she’s had down to the minute, how to install and help with the computer games and the internet; I play the games, do the piano lessons, take her to school, make her do chores and clean her room, refuse to help her with her socks because she can do it and I am not her servant, and so forth. Bandaids? There. Vitamins? Top drawer. Lunch for tomorrow? Already made. We’re out of juice! There are six gallons in the basement.
A job? Of course not. If this was a job, I would wear better clothes and arrange all the Polly Pockets to have a meeting about maximizing third quarter revenue projections. If this was a job, I’d worry that I hadn’t been promoted to Assistant Managing Dad.
If this was a job, I’d be out of here at five, and forget about the weekends.
Yup, Jimbo whose life is full of playing My Little Pony with daughter Chigger when he's not shopping for Limited Edition Fall-Patterned Bounty paper towels at Target or arguing with the surly foreign help about the merits of cheese, is all honked off because Teresa Kerry dissed stay-at-home mommies like himself. I mean Jim could wear nicer clothes and maybe have time for a bubblebath or, for gosh sakes, even free up just one afternoon to go down to the beauty parlor and get his forehead done, but, noooooo, he's a hunter and a gatherer with barely a moment to watch his TIVO'd episodes of F Troop.
To quote his President: It's hard work.
And don't even get him started on those columns that he is always mentioning and how he is forced to write them so that the Strib can fill that unsightly hole on page C10 next to Marmaduke and just above the notices for senior bus tours to Indian casinos. I mean, we're talking work here, people! Deadlines! You think it's easy writing about the mundane details of a mundane life with verve and wit? Just you try it, Sparky!
After a certain age, I think it’s fine to ship the tots off for the day. Me, I dread the day Gnat goes to school full time. But at least I had our years before first grade snagged her and pulled her into the machinery. My wife had six months when Gnat was born, and that made a great deal of difference; the time she had with Gnat when she was laid off was a boon, and she knew it. (She only went back to work because she knew I’d be home with Gnat; that was the decision we made a long time ago.) There is nothing – nothing in the workplace that matches the challenges and joys of the first five years. If you can’t make it work, well, then you can’t. But if you can, you should. Dare I say you ought to.
You might find yourself making Play-doh spaghetti one afternoon, and realize, to your astonishment, that you are happy. Why, you might even be validated.
Or in Lilek's case: you have just overachieved...
Looks like Michelle Malkin has her grannypanties in a twist too:
Teresa managed to snub not only millions of teachers and librarians and Mrs. Bush's 22 years of work as a mother, but also the hard work and dedication of all stay-at-home parents (moms AND dads).
Here is the end result of Laura the Librarian's 22 years of work as a mother.
In the interest of disclosure, I should point out that Michelle's husband is an ocassional stay-at-home dad, which is probably a good thing since Michelle scares the hell out of the kids.
posted by tbogg at 1:06 AM
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004
John Derbyshire doesn't know shit about baseball...
Wanker:
CH-A-A-ARGE! [John Derbyshire]
Every *true* Yankee fan knows that the lads have 100 percent control of the situation. They're just working up a little excitement for us, that's all.
O ye of little faith!
Posted at 05:11 PM
Oh ye of little knowledge...
posted by tbogg at 11:25 PM
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The kids are alright...
The kids at Nickelodeon voted for President on 10/20... the winner.
They're probably just worried about the draft.
posted by tbogg at 11:11 PM
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...and she gives good speech too.
Democrats are so much more fun. Reader Max sends us this charming story about the lovely Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom, the first lady of San Francisco.
The laughs were a lot more on the adult side in New York when Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom took the stage at Thursday night's big Empire State Pride Agenda fund-raiser.
Guilfoyle Newsom was a last-minute sub for her husband at the gay rights event, which drew 1,100 guests. By all accounts, Guilfoyle Newsom -- who lives in New York and is a regular on Court TV -- gave an inspired speech.
But what really brought the house down was when she started talking about her hubby.
"I know that many of you wanted to see my husband and some of you had questions out there,'' Guilfoyle Newsom said.
"Is he hot? Yeah.
"Is he hung? Yeah.
"Is he (she waved her hand to suggest bisexual)? Not unless you can give a better (she mimicked eating a banana) than me,'' Guilfoyle Newsom said.
The mayoral bride's remarks have become the talk of San Francisco City Hall.
"You know we believe in open government and we support full disclosure,'' said Newsom press aide Peter Ragone, tongue firmly in cheek.
Others within the inner circle, however, were mortified by Mrs. Mayor's remarks and fear this is one cute moment that could come back to haunt the ambitious Newsom down the line.
"It was funny, but it's not something that Jackie would ever have said,'' former Police Commissioner Wayne Friday quipped, referring to the Kennedyesque image the mayor has been cultivating.
Newsom himself did his best to put a positive face on it all.
"She gave a great speech,'' the mayor said.
Somehow I can imagine Lynne Cheney giving the same speech...minus the hot, hung, and blowjob parts.
posted by tbogg at 1:25 PM
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Born in the year of the loon
It's Michelle Malkin's birthday today. Here she is blowing out her candles.
She's crazy, you know.
(Image courtesy of 100 Monkeys)
posted by tbogg at 10:21 AM
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Me? I'm not the lesbian. I'm Liz, not Lez. Got it, buster?
NotMary Cheney comes out of her closet:
Liz Cheney, the daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney (news - web sites), said Tuesday that Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry (news - web sites) had no business dragging her sister's gay lifestyle into the presidential debate.
"I was surprised that Senator Kerry would raise it and I think it is unprecedented for a candidate for the presidency to sort of exploit the child of one of his opponents for political gain," Liz Cheney said in an interview with The Associated Press. "That did surprise me. I thought that was out of bounds, and I think what you have seen as a result of that is a lot of folks across the country really wondering what sort of a person would do that. It was sort of an insight into the character of Senator Kerry."
Liz Cheney said her sister Mary's lifestyle should not be an election issue.
"I don't think Mary should be part of this campaign. I think issues having to do with the war on terror, having to do with the economy, having to do with health care, those are all critically important issues and those are the ones we're spending a lot of our time focused on," she said.
Liz Cheney was visiting the University of Denver with President Bush (news - web sites)'s twin daughters, Jenna and Barbara, for a forum on the need for women to vote.
Oddly enough, Mary Cheney apparently wasn't invited to attempt to encourage women to vote even though she is quite fond of both voting and women.
And did I mention that Liz Cheney landed herself a cushy State Department job while her husband fell into an opening at OMB?
Apparently monster.com does work...
posted by tbogg at 11:03 PM
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Alternate History, Part 2.
SunnyBlog (yeah, I never heard of it before either) posits an Alternate History:
If Bush had not invaded Iraq
10/19/2004 The Election
Democrat Presidential nominee John Kerry delivered a speech today condemning President Bush for failing to invade Iraq in the follow-up of military action against the Talaban and Al Qaeda in Afghanastan. "Leaving this tyrant in power in contravention of numerous United Nations resolutions is unconscionable," Kerry told the Veterans of Foreign Wars. "He has left available a base of operations and a source of supply and money."
Yup. That's what he would have done, as if Bush hasn't been a miserable failure at so many other things. Then again, if Bush hadn't invaded Iraq, all of these people would still be alive and Ronald J. Watkins would just be another lonely private in the 101st Fighting Keyboarders™ all cammied up and no one to blow.
posted by tbogg at 10:40 PM
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Just call me Droopy
Thanks for everyone's get well wishes.
To make a long story short, but kind of interesting, I went in with the flu expecting to come out with antibiotics, but instead came out with a surprising prognosis. I seem to be over the sinusitis that I knew I had, but I've completely lost my hearing in my left ear which I thought came about from the sinus infection. Oddly enough the ear looks fine, but coupled with some slight swelling of the left side of my face and a bit of numbness, I have some indications of Bell's Palsy. So we're keeping a watch on it.
Of course the only person I know that has suffered Bells Palsy is...
In 1986, Nader developed a condition called Bell's Palsy. It affects the nerves in a person's face. Common symptoms include various ticks and twitches, and even partial paralysis of facial muscles. The condition is often unilateral, affecting only one side of a person's face. The cause is still unknown, although it is suspected to be a virus. Nader was sure he contracted the condition from recirculated air while traveling on a plane.
In Nader's case, Bell's Palsy initially froze the left side of his face, although that gradually abated. But he had continued difficulty controlling the muscles on that side. His left eyelid also began to droop. For some, Bell's Palsy lasts only a few weeks, but in Nader's case it would linger. He took to wearing dark sunglasses and began to joke with audiences that he could no longer be accused of talking out of both sides of his mouth.
Oh great. Now I'll probably become a arrogant prick who will have a hand in giving George Bush for more years....
Swell.
posted by tbogg at 10:15 PM
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I gotcher film-clips right here
Now that everyone is getting all giggly about John Edwards actually combing his hair before an appearance, let's take a look back at some of George Bush's greatest hits.
Here's George using a woman
Here's George arranging... some other hairs.
I'm not much of one for picking winners, but I'd say George Bush wins by a nose.
posted by tbogg at 10:03 PM
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TBogg
...has the flu. If he survives it he will begin posting again real soon.
Somehow this must be President Bush's fault.
posted by tbogg at 9:51 AM
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Sunday, October 17, 2004
With this much porn he must be a serial killer
Another American Idiot:
A sheriff’s department in northern Utah is requiring deputies to begin documenting pornography found at crime scenes and during arrests.
Lt. Matt Bilodeau, spokesman for the Cache County Sheriff’s Department, said that although no connection between legal porn viewing and criminal behavior has ever been proven, police have seen a steady increase in porn associated with crimes.
He likened the new tracking system to the approach police use with gang members.
“(Gangs) have certain clothes they wear, markings on their houses, tattoos,” Bilodeau said. “Like gangs, people who use pornography have associated traits, and we’ll define them so we can link them to crimes and pornography.”
Two of the porn traits involve going out in public in nothing but a robe and being one of those really quiet creepy guys who never say anything at work.
Really. If he lives in your neighborhood you should keep an eye on him....
posted by tbogg at 11:14 PM
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The Dead
San Diego is well known as a military town, both Navy and Marines. As such, the San Diego Union-Tribune newspaper (the only major newspaper we have) has been running a collection of articles on soldiers and their families and how the war has affected their lives. As of last Friday 153 Marines from Camp Pendleton in Oceanside have died in George Bush's phony war and today the UT published a two-page spread with pictures of Marines who have died and comments from their families. Agree with them or not, it deserves to be read. While I have a tremendous amount of sympathy for these people who have lost their sons, I find the following quote appalling:
Cpl. Dustin Sides
22, Yakima, Wash.
Sides' father has watched the news with a growing sense of frustration, especially in the months since his son was killed May 31 near Fallujah.
"They've got 'em over there with their hands tied," John Sides said about the Marines. "Everybody's so concerned with: 'You might hurt the women. You might hurt the children.' The women and children will kill you just as fast."
Sides, 48, a contractor, is convinced that Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and that invading Iraq was an important step in the war against terrorists.
But he's fed up with talk of a "sensitive war" and thinks the only way to fight in Iraq is to "crush these people and bring them to their knees." He said he will vote for Bush.
Additionally, read this article on two families, their feelings about the war, and who they will be voting for.
And it should come as no surprise that the UT endorsed... George Bush. Their rationale: war, terra, and more war. Orwell would be proud.
posted by tbogg at 10:42 PM
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Saturday, October 16, 2004
How the Bible Belt keeps blood from getting to the brain.
Fundamentally dumb:
Across the Bible Belt this Halloween, some little ghosts and goblins might get shooed away by the neighbors - and some youngsters will not be allowed to go trick-or-treating at all - because the holiday falls on a Sunday this year.
"It's a day for the good Lord, not for the devil," said Barbara Braswell, who plans to send her 4-year-old granddaughter Maliyah out trick-or-treating in a princess costume on Saturday instead.
Some towns around the country are decreeing that Halloween be celebrated on Saturday to avoid complaints from those who might be offended by the sight of demons and witches ringing their doorbell on the Sabbath. Others insist the holiday should be celebrated on Oct. 31 no matter what.
[...]
"You just don't do it on Sunday," said Sandra Hulsey of Greenville, Ga. "That's Christ's day. You go to church on Sunday, you don't go out and celebrate the devil. That'll confuse a child."
[...]
The patchwork of trick-or-treat zones could work to children's advantage: Some might go out on both nights to get all the treats they can.
With so many towns split over when Halloween should be celebrated, many are going with a porch-light compromise: If people do not want trick-or-treaters, they simply turn off their lights, and parents are asked not to have kids knock there.
...and we wonder why the Europeans laugh at us.
posted by tbogg at 10:47 AM
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How the Bible Belt keeps blood from getting to the brain.
Fundamentally dumb:
Across the Bible Belt this Halloween, some little ghosts and goblins might get shooed away by the neighbors - and some youngsters will not be allowed to go trick-or-treating at all - because the holiday falls on a Sunday this year.
"It's a day for the good Lord, not for the devil," said Barbara Braswell, who plans to send her 4-year-old granddaughter Maliyah out trick-or-treating in a princess costume on Saturday instead.
Some towns around the country are decreeing that Halloween be celebrated on Saturday to avoid complaints from those who might be offended by the sight of demons and witches ringing their doorbell on the Sabbath. Others insist the holiday should be celebrated on Oct. 31 no matter what.
[...]
"You just don't do it on Sunday," said Sandra Hulsey of Greenville, Ga. "That's Christ's day. You go to church on Sunday, you don't go out and celebrate the devil. That'll confuse a child."
[...]
The patchwork of trick-or-treat zones could work to children's advantage: Some might go out on both nights to get all the treats they can.
With so many towns split over when Halloween should be celebrated, many are going with a porch-light compromise: If people do not want trick-or-treaters, they simply turn off their lights, and parents are asked not to have kids knock there.
...and we wonder why the Europeans laugh at us.
posted by tbogg at 10:47 AM
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Friday, October 15, 2004
AWM™: MIA
America's Worst Mother™ is missing this week due to a breakdown on the freeway, a little towing, and an evening shot.
She and her kids: Hansel, Bivalve, Trisket, and Arachnia Jean will return next week.
posted by tbogg at 11:02 PM
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Turning on, turning off
Gary Bauer is worried about upsetting some of the stupider members of his party:
Conservative Christians and gay rights groups also weighed in on the way Mr. Kerry brought up Mr. Cheney's daughter Mary in response to a question about whether homosexuality is a matter of choice.
"I think it is part of a strategy to suppress traditional-values voters, to knock 1 or 2 percent off in some rural areas by causing people to turn on the president," said Gary Bauer, a conservative Christian who ran for president four years ago.
Is being a lesbian a choice? ( Rush thinks so.)
Now, who knows? The answer to this question is what the president said, "Who knows?" Science cannot answer this question definitively, and we do know... I mean look, I'm going to step in it, but I can't help it. I step in it every day here. We do know, we do know that there are middle-age and older women who choose to live with and love other women after having been married, that they have chosen. We do know that there are women who have chosen this lifestyle. It's not a matter of dispute. Now, that's not to say that they weren't born that way or were living a lie, but there are women who have chosen it later on. The point is the science doesn't know. There's no evidence whatsoever. The best evidence that you can get is anecdotal and that's from people who are gay who say, "No, I didn't chose it." Some say, "I didn't. Why would I?" But they still say they didn't choose it. So you can rely on that, but in terms of there being a scientific answer to the question. There is not.
So here is a simple test you can do at home.
Let's say you're a woman (Ann Coulter is now nodding her head thinking, "Okay. I can pretend.") and you have a choice between:
Gary Bauer
and a woman
Gary Bauer
and a woman
Gary Bauer
and a woman.
For once it looks like Rush is right.
posted by tbogg at 2:10 PM
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...and starring Paul Bremer as Fagin.
CPA's vs. CPA:
U.S. and Iraqi officials doled out hundreds of millions of dollars in oil proceeds and other moneys for Iraqi projects earlier this year, but there was little effort to monitor or justify the expenditures, according to an audit released Thursday.
Files that could explain many of the payments are missing or nonexistent, and contracting rules were ignored, according to auditors working for an agency created by the United Nations (news - web sites).
"We found one case where a payment ($2.6 million) was authorized by the CPA (Coalition Provisional Authority) senior adviser to the Ministry of Oil," the report said. "We were unable to obtain an underlying contract" or even "evidence of services being rendered."
In a program to allow U.S. military commanders to pay for small reconstruction projects, auditors questioned 128 projects totaling $31.6 million. They could find no evidence of bidding for the projects or, alternatively, explanations of why they were awarded without competition.
Hmmmm. Let's go to the Way Back Machine
Item one:
Occupied Iraq was just as Simone Ledeen had imagined -- ornate mosques, soldiers in formation, sand blowing everywhere, "just like on TV." The 28-year-old daughter of neoconservative pundit Michael Ledeen and a recently minted MBA, she had arrived on a military transport plane with the others and was eager to get to work.
They had been hired to perform a low-level task: collecting and organizing statistics, surveys and wish lists from the Iraqi ministries for a report that would be presented to potential donors at the end of the month. But as suicide bombs and rocket attacks became almost daily occurrences, more and more senior staffers defected. In short order, six of the new young hires found themselves managing the country's $13 billion budget, making decisions affecting millions of Iraqis.
Viewed from the outside, their experience illustrates many of the problems that have beset the U.S.-led Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA), a paucity of experienced applicants, a high turnover rate, bureaucracy, partisanship and turf wars. But within their group, inside the "Green Zone," the four-mile strip surrounded by cement blast walls where Iraq's temporary rulers are based, their seven months at the CPA was the experience of a lifetime. It was defined by long hours, patriotism, friendship, sacrifice and loss.
[...]
For Ledeen, the offer seemed like fate. One of her family friends had been killed in the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, and it had affected her family deeply. Without hesitation, she responded "Sure" to the e-mail and waited -- for an interview, a background check or some other follow-up. Apparently none was necessary. A week later, she got a second e-mail telling her to look for a packet in the mail regarding her move to Baghdad.
Others from across the District responded affirmatively to the same e-mail, for different reasons. Andrew Burns, 23, a Red Cross volunteer who had taught English in rural China, felt going to Iraq would help him pursue a career in humanitarian aid. Todd Baldwin, 28, a legislative aide for Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.), thought the opportunity was too good to pass up. John Hanley, 24, a Web site editor, wanted to break into the world of international relations. Anita Greco, 25, a former teacher, and Casey Wasson, 23, a recent college graduate in government, just needed jobs.
For months they wondered what they had in common, how their names had come to the attention of the Pentagon, until one day they figured it out: They had all posted their resumes at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative-leaning think tank.
Item two:
Once one of America’s leading economic essayists, Paul Krugman has in recent years lost first his judgment, then his wit, latterly his reason, and now finally his decency. Yesterday in the course of yet another of his tiresomely repetitive anti-Bush rant, Krugman side-swiped a young friend, Simone Ledeen. Here’s the quote:
“If the occupiers often seemed oblivious to reality, one reason was that many jobs at the C.P.A. went to people whose qualifications seemed to lie mainly in their personal and political connections — people like Simone Ledeen, whose father, Michael Ledeen, a prominent neoconservative, told a forum that ‘the level of casualties is secondary’ because ‘we are a warlike people’ and ‘we love war.’”
I have to say that I am stunned by the implication that working in Iraq is some kind of sinecure that one obtains by wire-pulling. I wonder how many of Krugman’s dinner party pals are badgering their political connections to get their children internships in Baghdad? Simone Ledeen risked her life in Iraq for her country. One of her best friends was killed by a car bomb. She herself was frequently fired upon. I can attest first hand that her insights into the situation in Iraq were both shrewd and sensitive. Her intelligence and courage and idealism are the virtues that wartime America most desperately needs.
Item three:
Now if you will permit me one last personal note. Krugman engages in egregious character assassination in the article of Simone Ledeen, Michael’s daughter. This is the kind of personal attack I believe to be endemic to Krugman’s form of partisanship and should not have been allowed by The New York Times. Krugman implied that Ms. Ledeen benefited from nepotism and was not qualified to serve in Iraq. This could not be further from the truth. Simone Ledeen, who did accounting for the CPA, was a fully qualified MBA and exactly the kind of young person you would want to see serving in Iraq (not a simple thing to find, obviously, for a dangerous war zone). I met her for the first time last week, having dinner with her twice. I listened to her detailed analyses of what was going on over there that were in many ways as critical as Krugman’s, but far more subtle and educated because she had spent over half a year in Iraq, visiting many parts of the country, working with and training Iraqis with whom she became friends. I know nothing of the quotes that Krugman cherry-picked for his article or of their context, but can assure you and him that this young woman is no warmonger. The kind of reactionary (word chosen very specifically) character assassination he has engaged in is despicable.
I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to all of the little Heritage Foundation's Artful Dodger's appearances before a grand jury.
posted by tbogg at 1:56 PM
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Liars, thugs, bullies, fanatics and thieves
Dave from Texas emailed me this link:
Where does it go from here? The nightmare misadventure in Iraq is over, beyond the reach of any reasonable argument, though many more body bags will be filled. In Washington, chicken hawks will still be squawking about "digging in" and winning, but Vietnam proved conclusively that no modern war of occupation will ever be won. (Vietnam clip) Every occupation is doomed. The only way you "win" a war of occupation is the old-fashioned way, the way Rome finally defeated the Carthaginians: kill all the fighters, enslave everyone else, raze the cities and sow the fields with salt.
Otherwise the occupied people will fight you to the last peasant, and why shouldn't they? If our presidential election fails to dislodge the crazy bastards who annexed Baghdad, many of us in this country would welcome regime change by any intervention, human or divine. But if, say, the Chinese came in to rescue us -- Operation American Freedom -- how long would any of us, left-wing or right, put up with an occupying army teaching us Chinese-style democracy? A guerrilla who opposes an invading army on his own soil is not a terrorist, he's a resistance fighter. In Iraq we're not fighting enemies but making enemies. As Richard Clarke and others have observed, every dollar, bullet and American life that we spend in Iraq is one that's not being spent in the war on terrorism. Every Iraqi, every Muslim we kill or torture or humiliate is a precious shot of adrenaline for Osama and al Qaeda.
The irreducible truth is that the invasion of Iraq was the worst blunder, the most staggering miscarriage of judgment, the most fateful, egregious, deceitful abuse of power in the history of American foreign policy. If you don't believe it yet, just keep watching. Apologists strain to dismiss parallels with Vietnam, but the similarities are stunning. In every action our soldiers kill innocent civilians, and in every other action apparent innocents kill our soldiers -- and there's never any way to sort them out. And now these acts of subhuman sadism, these little My Lais.
After you read the whole thing, email it to every person you know.
posted by tbogg at 1:37 PM
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Is that a falafel in your pocket or are you just glad to work for me?
You really should be reading the O'Reilly excerpts over at World O'Crap.
Afterwards you may need to take a shower and let the pulsing jets of hot steaming water stream down your tawny body...
posted by tbogg at 9:20 AM
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Friday Basset Blogging...because you know you want it.
(Sorry. That was Bill O'Reilly talking)
 Beckham
posted by tbogg at 8:14 AM
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
Looking Presidentable
John Kerry
George Bush
Kinda says it all.
posted by tbogg at 10:58 PM
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Deficit. What? Deficit. What? Deficit. WHAT?
A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest:
Q What's your comment on the trade deficit?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, what's your question on the trade deficit?
Q Well, it's the second biggest in history, and it shows record imports from China. And it also indicates that the cost of oil is affecting --
MR. McCLELLAN: The way to create jobs here at home in America is to continue to open markets abroad for American products and producers. And as we do that, we need to make sure that there is a level playing field for American -- for Americans to compete on, because we can compete with anyone across the globe when the playing field is level. Also, you have oil prices that have gone up. Obviously, that has an impact. That's why the President has put forward a comprehensive plan, that's one of the very first things he did in office, to make America energy self-sufficient. We are dependent on foreign sources of energy right now. We need to reduce our dependency on foreign sources of energy. And the President's opponent has stood in the way of a comprehensive energy plan.
About that deficit?
(crickets chirping...a dog barks in the distance...)
posted by tbogg at 10:34 PM
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She ain't a lesbian. She's my daughter...
There seems to be quite a bit of manufactured outrage over John Kerry mentioning that Mary Cheney is a (shhhh!) l-e-s-b-i-a-n. In fact, based on comments like this, it appears that the only three people in America who aren't upset are these three guys.
You see, it seems that although Mary Cheney is gay, she is not a lesbian.
Kerry's defenders said he was well within bounds, particularly given that Cheney has also talked about his daughter when discussing gay issues.
But both the vice president and his wife went after Kerry with strong words.
"You saw a man who will do and say anything to get elected," Cheney told a rally in Fort Myers, Fla. "And I am not just speaking as a father here, although I am a pretty angry father."
He told a local TV station: "I thought it was totally inappropriate."
[...]
The vice president spoke this summer about his daughter's sexuality and his view of gay relationships. He also publicly disagreed with Bush about the need for a constitutional amendment prohibiting same-sex marriages, saying he preferred that the states settle the issue.
"Lynne and I have a gay daughter, so it's an issue our family is very familiar with," Cheney told a Davenport, Iowa, audience that included his daughter. "With respect to the question of relationships, my general view is freedom means freedom for everyone."
As Dick demonstrated, it's only those urbane and worldly people of Davenport, Iowa who can handle the fact that Mary Cheney indulges in the love that dare not speak its name in front of Lynne Cheney. The rest of us in the hinterlands must get by disregarding Ms. Cheney entirely (even though she is publicly working for her father's campaign) or I guess we can refer to her as "the girl on the low-dick diet".
I mean, whatever makes you most comfortable...
By the way, there is some concern about this bringing out the bigot vote:
For example, we agree that it is not a "low blow" to mention that Mary Cheney is a lesbian. The issue here is motive; that the Kerry/Edwards campaign is using her sexuality in an effort to turn out the bigot vote. Interpreting their name dropping as a kind gesture is wrong, and totally naive.
I think the Republicans have owned that vote since way back...
posted by tbogg at 9:10 PM
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Let's see...we have 100 Senators....hmmmmm
Study: One in 100 adults asexual
About one percent of adults have absolutely no interest in sex, according to a new study, and that distinction is becoming one of pride among many asexuals.
The new study was conducted by Anthony Bogaert, a psychologist and human sexuality expert at Brock University in St. Catherines, Ontario.
It was published in the latest issue of The Journal of Sex Research and is the focus of a report in this Saturday's issue of New Scientist.
Bogaert's analysis looked at responses to another study in Britain, published in 1994. That study was based on interviews of 18,000 people about their sexual practices.
It offered respondent a list of options. One read: "I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all." One percent said they agreed with the statement.
Okay. I got dibbs on him for the office pool.
posted by tbogg at 1:46 PM
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A mind fogged by alcohol.
Oh, jeebus:
If Drudge has it right, then the Kerry-Edwards campaign is going to do its damnedest to turn our fine nation into a banana republic.
To these guys, winning office is more important than the sanctity of elections. Holding power is more important than the Constitution. Much as I despise at least half of what most Republicans stand for, they don't seem nearly as willing to trash the system they're trying to run. Too many Democrats, especially at the national level, just don't care that our system, our nation is far more important than any single election.
Where the hell was Green during the 2000 election?
In the December 12 ruling by the US Supreme Court handing the election to George Bush, the Court committed the unpardonable sin of being a knowing surrogate for the Republican Party instead of being an impartial arbiter of the law. If you doubt this, try to imagine Al Gore's and George Bush's roles being reversed and ask yourself if you can conceive of Justice Antonin Scalia and his four conservative brethren issuing an emergency order on December 9 stopping the counting of ballots (at a time when Gore's lead had shrunk to 154 votes) on the grounds that if it continued, Gore could suffer "irreparable harm," and then subsequently, on December 12, bequeathing the election to Gore on equal protection grounds. If you can, then I suppose you can also imagine seeing a man jumping away from his own shadow, Frenchmen no longer drinking wine.
From the beginning, Bush desperately sought, as it were, to prevent the opening of the door, the looking into the box--unmistakable signs that he feared the truth. In a nation that prides itself on openness, instead of the Supreme Court doing everything within its power to find a legal way to open the door and box, they did the precise opposite in grasping, stretching and searching mightily for a way, any way at all, to aid their choice for President, Bush, in the suppression of the truth, finally settling, in their judicial coup d'état, on the untenable argument that there was a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment's equal protection clause--the Court asserting that because of the various standards of determining the voter's intent in the Florida counties, voters were treated unequally, since a vote disqualified in one county (the so-called undervotes, which the voting machines did not pick up) may have been counted in another county, and vice versa. Accordingly, the Court reversed the Florida Supreme Court's order that the undervotes be counted, effectively delivering the presidency to Bush
and
On December 8th, the Florida Supreme Court ordered that "undervoted" punch card ballots — which had registered no vote for President — would be counted by hand. The next day, the Supreme Court, by a vote of 5-4, stayed the Florida Supreme Court's directive, ordering that the recounts be stopped immediately.
For a stay of a lower court's opinion to be granted, the stay must be necessary to avoid "irreparable harm." But no such harm ever threatened to occur here. What would have happened if the recount had gone on, and the Court later held (as it in fact did hold) that the criterion for recounting violated the Equal Protection Clause? The recount simply would have had no legal effect, and Bush would still have become President.
Nevertheless, Justice Scalia concurred in the stay. Where was the "irreparable harm," according to Justice Scalia? It lay in his worry that the results of the recount might "cast[] a cloud upon what [Bush] claims to be the legitimacy of his election." Conversely, suppressing the recounts, he claimed, would help produce "election results that have the public acceptance democratic stability requires."
Thus, viewing the ballots not as legally binding votes, but simply as an expression of voters' intentions, Justice Scalia accepted the notion that such an expression would harm the perception of a Bush presidency, and that this harm was sufficient to order the recount stopped.
Yet it is a classic free speech principle that speech generally cannot be suppressed due to "expressive" harm alone — that is, due to the harm that occurs when people hear and believe its message. With narrow exceptions, including the familiar "incitement to imminent lawlessness" test, that is the law. Only, again, in this instance, Justice Scalia discarded traditional free speech tenets when the message of the speech at issue (as in the pro-abortion or pro-gay rights cases) was one with which he vociferously disagreed. This time, the message was: "Gore should be President."
The Supreme Court's actions, of course, have not only failed to remove any clouds over the legitimacy of the coming Bush administration, but they have succeeded in marring the legitimacy of the Supreme Court itself. The principle of free expression should not admit of government censorship — even in the name of heterosexuality, opposition to the right of abortion, or a presidency for the man who intends to appoint more people like Justice Antonin Scalia.
and
While Gore said the outcome of the election is still unclear, the vice president repeated a request for a meeting with the Texas governor, his Republican opponent, before the final returns are tabulated, so the two men could "testify to the truth that our country is more important than victory."
Bush made no mention of Gore's offer on Wednesday; he spurned a similar request made by the vice president last week. The Texas governor also would not comment on questions about any plans he might have to appeal the state ruling, referring them to his legal team in Florida led by James Baker.
Green concludes:
Now, I know this is an angry essay. However, I don't mean to imply that all Democrats are evil and all Republicans are sweetness and light. Far from it. But for the first time in 16 years, I'm going to vote Republican straight down the line. If I have to punish a couple of local Democrats I'm fond of, then so be it, but I have to try to get a point across: The national Democratic Party is bad for this country.
I don't say that because of their policies, which I probably agree with more than I do the Republicans. But because their tactics would cause more harm to this country than the Federal Marriage Amendment, the Republican budget deficit, and Congress's corporate tax giveaways, combined.
I'm just one guy; I don't expect my vote to mean much. But the Democrats are willing to treat – in advance - my vote, and all it represents, with feigned contempt. So I can't, in return, treat the Democrats with anything less than genuine contempt.
With an argument as flawed as that, Green deserves nothing less than contempt.
Drunken yuppie twerp.
posted by tbogg at 11:46 AM
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Go downtown and wrestle a live nude producer
According to my hit-counter I'm getting about 500 hits an hour from people using Google or some other search engine looking for Andrea + Mackris + naked all because of this post from 2003.
I don't have any pictures of a naked Makris but I do have one of a naked Kate O'Beirne
I can't believe that you actually clicked on that.
Sicko.
posted by tbogg at 11:16 AM
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You-mentum
According to this poll tracker, you (yes, you!) are on track to get almost as many votes as Ralph Nader in the Presidential race. As of this posting, you're only 1% behind Nader with three weeks to go. Taking into account the margin of error, you may actually be ahead of him (unless you're Alan Keyes, in which case you probably way behind). That's pretty good for someone who hasn't made it onto any ballots.
Better start working on that speech...
posted by tbogg at 11:04 AM
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Biting the hand that feeds him and wipes up those messy spills
Minnesotans in search of more national humiliation (Jesse Ventura, Vikings Super Bowl failures) are looking for a new poster boy to remind us of their overwhelming desire to be the Alabama of the tundra. This might explain the desire to draft a certain potty-mouthed cuckhold for Senator.
I think these people are serious. No. Really.
Oddly enough, they want him to run against a man that Lileks has supported in so many ways, Sen. Mark Dayton, heir to Dayton-Hudson of Target stores fame.
Personally I don't think that Lileks would sacrifice his ability to shop for cheap Snapple and The Jefferson's Season 3 DVD set for something as paltry as being a senator. But if Jimbo does make the run it would give Gnat the opportunity to use all those new words she's learned like fail, fake, and feign...
posted by tbogg at 10:33 AM
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Envision whirled daiquiris. Envision whirled daiquiris.
Jenna takes a little Jenna-time while NotJenna and the Amazing Animatronic First Lady look on.
Meanwhile, Karl Rove, sensing the Bush Gravy Train about to derail, starts stealing blankets and bags of Presidential peanuts off of Air Force One.
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