Dr. Melissa, Chiropractic Psychologist explains it all to youThe Bad Idea Bears: "Let's get drunk on patriotism and invade Iraq! Yay!"

When we last checked in with Dr. Melissa, she was explaining the dangers that still awaited us because Bill Clinton was once (okay, probably more than once) on the receiving end of a blow job and, given how fastidious Dr. Melissa is about teh hygiene one can only imagine her sense of horror and insatiable desire for Altoids.

Today, she explains that the world is going to hell in a wastebasket because Hollyweirdos are licking doorknobs or something like that:

It might also be a good time to discuss how disease and stupid ideas are spread because they happen the same way. A way to raise brand awareness is called "viral marketing". Good ideas can spread especially on the web where word-of-mouth is everything. Viral marketing assumes that "influencers" will pass along the idea. And they do, in a limited way (we bloggers like to think in a big way). But what causes more extensive spreading? Big groups of people who don't use personal hygiene:

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So people, say the Hollywood elite, never wash their ideological hands. They swarm in like-minded groups and whatever disease that's going around--9/11 was inside job, soldiers are rapists, global warming will kill us all, etc.--gets spread to everyone. That's how three stupid anti-war movies can come out and make nary a penny. A mental-disease spread.

It is also how a big groups of people can cling to ridiculous ideas. The public has been stressed for some time now. They are disillusioned by the press and the government, and their trust in our leaders like the President, is hammered away at non-stop. The press gives the government almost super-natural power and the populace believes it. This fragile ecosystem is ripe for exploitation. All sorts of ideas fall in when rational thought is pushed out.

Thus, a poll revealing the majority of the U.S. believes a 9/11 conspiracy. It's insane. It's unfathomable, but I know far too many people who believe these theories. They look normal yet they carry a pernicious disease and spread it, mostly because they don't have the critical thinking foundation necessary to navigate this post-modern world.

Yes, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world that believes that there are people in our government who might have had some inkling that there was a possibility of an attack in the US, and yet, her theory has a slight flaw in it.

• Hollywood is against the war.

• Hollywood makes disparaging movies about the war.

• But before the movies came out people had already turned against the war.

• Nobody goes to see the aforementioned movies to learn that the war that they don't like is bad.

• Therefore the public is infecting Hollywood and rational thought is pushed out

• Which is where Wild Hogs comes in.

I think you're catching my drift.

Now go wash your hands.