TBogg - "...a somewhat popular blogger"

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  • Friday, July 30, 2004


    Shorter David Brooks

    I'll pretend like I was on the fence if you'll pretend you didn't know better.

    posted by tbogg at 10:45 PM



    To sum up....

    As should be obvious from this weeks postings I didn't watch a minute of the Democratic convention. While some might attribute this to a fit of pique over not being invited, it has more to do with the fact that the Giants were in town for a four game series with the Padres (San Diego took three of four) and I do have my priorities. I mean, it's not like the Democrats aren't going to have another convention in four years...if President Cheney lets them out of the concentration camps early for good behavior.

    What I did do was follow the convention through the bloggers attending the the big whoop-di-doo where I learned that the 15,000 accredited press people were endlessly fascinated with the 35 invited bloggers and nightly plied them with expense-account liquors and sweetmeats in an effort to learn the secret of their success. Fortunately for we few, we happy few, we band of brothers, our secret is safe and the "big media" (or whatever term the Professor is using this week to inflate his ego) were left holding their manhood cheap, which isn't as dirty as it sounds, but should be.

    Anyway, for those who also tuned out the convention and watched Law & Order instead (you know, that one that starts with those people walking and talking until they find a body. That one...) here is what happened at the convention:

    Apparently, instead of a massive balloon drop, hundreds of Hillary Ninjas rappelled down to the stage and systematically slaughtered those who had not rendered unto Hillary what was rightfuly Hers. Then Hillary rose up from behind the podium on a hydraulic lift (in a marvelous bit of stagecraft lifted from Madonna's Blond Ambition Tour) holding the severed head of John Kerry in the air, Her fangs glistening with the blood of aborted Christian babies. A shrieking Joe Lieberman was then immolated on an inverted cross while Chris Lehane, Sid Blumenthal, and Wesley Clark capered about him wearing black capes, thigh-high leather boots, and nothing else. The delegates were then herded into compounds where the women were forced to don black pantsuits and the all of the men were neutered except for those that possessed the "equipment" to saisfy Her unnatural cravings. Later, cake was served.

    You see. The big media never tells you about this kind of stuff.

    (Okay. Some of that stuff wasn't true. Except for the Lieberman part....)

    posted by tbogg at 9:55 AM



    There's something about Audrey....

    World O'Crap has the goods on Moonie scribe Audrey Hudson. Just scroll down past the Family Circle sex scandal.

    posted by tbogg at 9:46 AM



    Mailing it in...

    Vacation beckons and you sit at your desk supposedly finishing up work. But what you're really doing is killing time, pretending to be busy, and keeping one eye on the clock so that you can bail early for the sweet release of time off. Which brings us to America's Worst Mother's™ Column O'Odds & Ends as she and the kids (Cabernet, Chantilly, Discordia, and Zed) get ready to travel up to Maine where they will get poison ivy, mosquito bites, and burn down a cabin.
    This week we get political references for the NRO editors to keep the paychecks flowing:

    Like the delegates at the Democratic Convention, everyone around here is terrifically pent-up. Unlike the delegates, however, there's no strain in being "positive" and "forward-looking."

    Culinary delights:

    So tonight we had fish sticks again, one steak divided five ways, miso soup, and pasta with the fag-ends of parsley.

    Babies need a new pair of shoes which is why the paychecks need to keep flowing:

    "I can't find my shoes," Paris yells from upstairs.
    "Neither can I," Violet says from the hallway.

    Pre-school strippers:

    Phoebe's voice pipes up from behind her. "I'm a little girl from town and I need some stickers," she says, emerging from around the corner. She is naked and has pasted herself stem to stern with bright pink heart-shaped Post-It notes that came with someone's long-ago Valentine's card.  

    The claim that, long after she has taken a dirtnap, Meghan's contribution to eternity will be her nag:

    Molly comes down the stairs. "Phoebe!" she says with a brisk mixture of amusement and censure, and I suddenly realize that in her voice you can already hear my voice, and I realize just as fast that some day she will realize it and hate it, as I did when I first heard my mother's voice coming out of my mouth. Perhaps eventually, like me, she will not mind; will even take a perverse pleasure in the passing-down through generations of certain maternal inflections, the only immortality most women can enjoy on earth

    A weird cop-killer moment from the girls:

    I become aware that Violet and Phoebe are sitting on the stairs outside my office. It is pleasant to hear them chatting, but I do not pay much attention until there's a sudden outpouring of piteous mewings, and Violet says sternly, in a vaguely Continental accent, "Come here or I will give you a smack!"
    "Now, wait a minute — " I protest, getting up from my desk.

    "We're playing a game," Phoebe explains from the landing. "I'm a baby."

    A few minutes later, Violet strides past and takes up a noble pose at the front door. She lifts an invisible bow and arrow, waits, and lets fly at a passing police car.

    "Waaaa!" wails Phoebe from the stairs
    "Thwap!" Violet murmurs, as another arrow finds its victim. "I've killed them," she says softly, "I've killed her."

    "Kill her? Kill you?" asks the infant. "Violet? Violet?"

    "Violet," I say automatically, not looking up from my checkbook, "please answer your sister."
    "But I'm dead."

    ...and just like in Texas, the cop-killer gets the needle:

    I put a hairclip in, so she's dying," Phoebe explains in her normal voice. I peer around the corner to see Violet spread-eagled on the floor, with Phoebe spiking her solicitously in the arm. The body does not flinch. Violet takes justifiable pride in her personal courage.

    amd finally, our Moment O' Manliness:

    "Mummy, can you fix my bandage?" Paris asks, limping down the stairs. Earlier this week while shoeless at a neighbor's, he tore a long, terrifying strip out of the sole of his foot on a nail protruding from the floor. Once again he occasioned floods of blood, once again anxious women washed his wounds, praised his bravery, and asked repeatedly, "Are you okay?" And once again, as soon as the thing was bandaged, he expressed perplexity at all the hand-wringing and brow-mopping: "Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

    Next week: Off to Maine where Zed will kill a moose with his bare hands.... 

    posted by tbogg at 6:57 AM


    Thursday, July 29, 2004



    Jay Brida of Needles on the Beach has a new book out: G.O.P.D.O.A. (which is a lovely sentiment, I might add):

    While the city braces for 20,000 Republicans to descend on New York, a Brooklyn political operative named Flanagan uncovers a bizarre plot that could trigger a Red, White, Black and Blue nightmare. Populated by buffoons, hacks, thugs and the Sons of Joey Ramone, G.O.P. D.O.A. is a fast paced, ripping yarn that gorges on the American buffet of sexual hypocrisy, political ambition and the Republican way of life.

    So you should probably pick up a copy and read about the Republican convention before it happens freeing up time for playing Doom 3 instead.

    posted by tbogg at 12:13 AM


    Wednesday, July 28, 2004


    I'll be giving out Lotto numbers later....

    Can I call it or what?

    Lousy tips, bad haircuts, and nobody gets laid. Nobody. Gets. Laid.

    To the bloggers who will be in Boston covering the Democratic convention:

    If you walk into a bar and see a bunch of pudgy guys in elastic-waist Dockers®, nursing beers and wiping their sweaty hands on their Le Tigre polos while nervously eyeing the one woman in the room...you've found the place.

    It only looks like a premature ejaculation support group.

    It looks like Doyles drew the short straw

    ...and who wouldn't enjoy this picture of Jonah seen here which Stanley Kurtz will later link to as just one more reason why gays shouldn't marry.

    posted by tbogg at 11:50 PM



    Hot Cheney-on-Cheney action

    Corneroid Peter Robinson delves into Cheney sex with HOW CHENEY DID IT:

    I’ve been engaging each evening of this convention in a “diablog” over at the Christian Science Monitor (to see for yourself, click here, then look for “Diablog: Real-time repartee”), and tonight, during John Edwards’ speech, my blogging partner, James Norton, who works with Al Franken, hit me with a new line of attack on Dick Cheney. Cheney avoided the draft, the attack goes, by siring a child in the nick of time.

    As James put it, “You want to talk about a lack of gravitas when it comes to war…? To quote the New York Times: ‘On Oct. 6, 1965, the Selective Service lifted its ban against drafting married men who had no children. Nine months and two days later, Mr. Cheney's first daughter, Elizabeth, was born.’”

    Can anyone fill me in here? Is this an eccentric view? A mere catty observation? Or do Democrats really believe that one morning 40 years ago the Cheneys read a newspaper story about a Selective Serivice decision, and then, that night—there really is no other way to put it—leapt into bed to give Dick Cheney an out?

    Personally, I think it was an in...at least that's how we have sex. But then we're from California.

    We're guessing that the Cheneys knew it was coming (the change in the draft... not the eruption from Dick's, um, dick) for some time before it went into effect and altered their sexual "proclivities" in order to generate an offspring. Dick never was much of a bottom anyway....

    posted by tbogg at 11:21 PM



    Good Time For A Bad Attitude

    You've really got to hand it to Oregon:

    Coolest delegate...ever. Posted by Hello

    posted by tbogg at 11:12 PM



    Red State's Jack Handy*

    Before we get to our Feature of the Day, we need to look back on Red State's "Mission".

    Redstate.org will be a gathering place of responsible voices, stimulating debate, and constructive action, fully mobilizing conservative intellectual and organizational resources to create a strong and vibrant presence in the blog medium. Through Redstate, the political blogging of the Right can gain the critical mass it needs for the battle ahead.


    We aim to provide an arena for serious thought and a force for influence in Republican politics and policy - and we intend to lead.

    Here is some of that Red State "serious thought" from our new favorite blogger:

    Why I Like Dick Cheney

    Not a lot of people know much about Dick Cheney. The media doesn't show many pictures of him smiling., but Cheney does smile. He smiles a lot. The media just seems to consistently miss those moments. They must be unlucky, I guess -- cause Cheney has a pretty good smile.


    But lot's of folks fish and that's not reason enough to like a man. I don't even know if he's a good fisher of if he casts like an amateur. I bet he tries hard though. That's one of the things I like best about him, he's always trying his best. He's been around the DC block. He worked as Chief of Staff for President Gerald Ford. He was younger then and had more hair, but he still visits with Ford and talks about the good ol' days, and I like that.


    Dick Cheney has done a lot during our trying times. He has visited Europe, Asia and the Middle East to talk with our allies and keep the lines of communication open with those who are not so allied with us. He's bended the ear of many for the benefit of the US. He's even been talking to that man in the Vatican, the Pope.

    This guy is beyond parody.

    ...and I like that.

    *Your Jack Handy reference.

    posted by tbogg at 10:41 AM


    Tuesday, July 27, 2004


    Hotter than a naked Jesus astride a dolphin....

    Porno for Peggy:

    He pants hard, emitting low "hrrr, hrrr, hrrr" grunts with each stroke of the pedals, his shoulders bobbing up and down.

    Somewhere in New York City an Irish divorcee lies beneath her damp sheets, lights up a cigarette, and wonders if the late great Ronnie knows that she has just been unfaithful to him....

    (Thanks to Matt)

    posted by tbogg at 11:48 PM



    One of these four is not like the others....

    From left to right: serving, serving, had "other priorities", serving. Posted by Hello

    No wonder he's laughing.....

    posted by tbogg at 11:30 PM



    Maybe it's because there's no Syrian "Ruby (Don't Take Your Love To Town)"

    Heather Wilhelm (you may know her from Hamptons Country Magazine...then again, maybe not) has an incipient case of the Lil Annie Panic jitters:

    Nour Mehana, the "Syrian Wayne Newton," has finally hit the big time. After days of fevered speculation, Mehana has been outed as the mysterious Syrian music-maker who, along with his band, set Northwest Airlines Flight 327 into a tizzy over a feared terrorist "dry run."

    For many, this discovery was a massive relief. In fact, one look at Mehana's publicity photos set many minds at ease. This man, a terrorist? A man who sings with a goofy Syrian band, plays in shady casinos, and has a cheesy porn-style mustache? That silly woman Annie Jacobsen! Aren't we all so silly and paranoid?

    Mr. Mehana has a nice little song on his recent CD, by the way. It's
    called "Um El Shaheed."

    In English, that's "Mother of a Martyr."

    Gasp! Tell me more....

    Since martyrdom seemed an odd topic for a casino crooner, I called the Middle East Media Research Institute. I spoke with Aluma Dankowtiz, who is fluent in Arabic, to find out exactly what Mr. Mehana has to say.

    "Mother of a Martyr" glorifies the death of a young Palestinian. Mehana sings to a grieving mother that she should not be sad, because her son, who died as a martyr, is a hero. She should be happy that her son is gone, Mehana croons, because freeing Palestine and the Golan Heights are heroic goals. The song, which starts slow and solemn, ends with a triumphant chorus, celebrating the martyr's gloriousdeath: "Allahu Akbar...Allahu Akbar...Allahu Akbar!"

    Feel better? Somehow, after "Mother of a Martyr," that Wayne Newton porn- style mustache becomes slightly less comforting. Hey, is anyone ready to jump onto a plane with Mr. Mehana and his wacky band?

    Because everyone knows that singing a song about a martyr will eventually make Mr. Mehana become a martyr himself in much the same way that Bob Dylan became a elderly black woman after he sang about The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll. It's that slippery slope thing they're always talking about.

    But let's get back to Heather:

    Nour Mehana is, apparently, a religious man; according to one website biography, he spent his pre-singing years reciting the Holy Koran. And if "Mother of a Martyr" is any indication, Mehana also supports the Palestinian intifada--and, along with it, martyrdom doctrines.

    "Mother of a Martyr" does not, in any sense, prove that Mr. Mehana is involved with terrorists. It does not mean that he was making a dry run on Flight 327. However, it does suggest that Mr. Mehana embraces certain ideals of martyrdom--similar to the very ideals that drove the 19 hijackers into the World Trade Center.

    You see one thing just leads to another. Mehana read the Koran and then he sang the song which must obviously lead him to support the Palestinian intifada and probably the 9/11 hijackers too because he hates our freedoms (just like they did!) particularly our God-given freedom of speech that allows preppy little Ann Coulter-wannabes to go online and accidently reveal their inner Bull Connor.

    So, you see, he really shouldn't been on that plane. Or, at the very least, he should have been made to sit in the back.

    So there...

    (Home study: Discuss Heather's fascination with Mehana's "cheesy porn-style mustache" and what implications this may have for John Stoessel. as well as how she knows so much about porn mustaches...)

    posted by tbogg at 9:43 PM



    Some bloggers get the readers they deserve...

    Instapundit reader David Hines better keep his day job:

    THESE THINGS JUST WRITE THEMSELVES: Reader David Hines emails:

    Suggested TV commercial:

    FADE IN: on Ted Kennedy, on the podium, partway through his garbled
    convention speech, as he delivers the line, "The only thing we have to
    fear is four more years of George W. Bush!"

    CUT TO: New York City skyline. The old one. With the World Trade



    Last time I checked those towers were still there when we had a Democratic President.

    I don't know who's stupider, Hines for his advertising skills or Reynolds for thinking this commercial is a winner.

    posted by tbogg at 9:35 PM


    Monday, July 26, 2004


    Authentic western gibberish....

    I kept waiting for the punchline for this over at Red State which, in its attempt at simplicity, instead attains a remarkable My Weekly Reader vibe (Note: this is best read using the voice of Dustin Hoffman from Rainman in your head):

    I like George W. Bush. He's a good guy. In a world where most folks wear grey hats or black hats -- he's wearing a white one. Out here in the rugged desert, where I live, one develops an ability to judge a man or a woman and their character rather quickly. I can spot a less than sterling character in a few moments. I can tell a genuinely kind woman from a fake smile and countenance at thirty yards. Out here we have rattlers, big ones, that if you approach will sink their venomous teeth into your leg without hesitation. As a result, one learns to look closely at the path one is traveling. One can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps - birds of a feather always flock together and wolves hunt in packs. George Bush keeps excellent company. His wife is not ambitious or power-hungry and this reflects upon his character. His appointments speak volumes about Bush the man, his beliefs, his values and his prejudices - or lack of them.

    Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice are great company to be in. Character? Definitely. Integrity? Off the charts. The media shows its own character deficiency as they ignore the accomplishments of these two for our United States - for political reasons. I like Bush for choosing them. He certainly didn't have to choose them, but he did. I like that.


    Yes, George Bush likes women. He's surrounded himself with one of the finest, Condoleezza Rice -- who as anyone on the inside knows is inseparable from Bush much of the time. Even at breakfast with the Danish Prime Minister, Anders Fogh Rasmussen. No, Condoleezza Rice is not as the left suggests "color" for his administration -- she is one of the President's MVPs -- and the media and the left can't forgive her for that.

    But not me. I like Condi -- I like Condi a lot.

    Of all women though, George Bush likes his wife Laura best of all. I really like that. In a world where fidelity and failed marriages are common and even moreso among cheating, lying politicians - it's nice to see a relationship that is bonded by love, not greed or lust for power.

    Next week... Taters: Them's Good Eatin'....

    (Thanks to Viktor for the link)

    posted by tbogg at 10:36 PM



    Mirror, mirror, on the wall
    Who's the most witty and vivacious of all?

    Ann Coulter gets dropped by McPaper:

    Ann Coulter, the witty, vivacious HUMAN EVENTS columnist and best-selling author, was hired by USA Today to offer commentary about this week’s Democratic National Convention, but her first column was summarily rejected late last night.

    “Apparently," said Coulter, "USA Today doesn’t like my ‘tone,’ humor, sarcasm, etc. etc., which raises the intriguing question of why they hired me to write for them in the first place. Perhaps they thought they were getting Catherine Coulter.”

    So. Who thinks that Ann is "witty and vivacious"? Well, just check out the byline:

    Banned In Boston!
    The Ann Coulter Column Too Hot for USA Today

    by Ann Coulter
    Posted Jul 26, 2004

    If it weren't for self-lovin' she wouldn't get any lovin' at all, so I would recommend against shaking her hand.


    posted by tbogg at 10:27 PM


    Saturday, July 24, 2004


    I guess it all depends on your defintion of "facts"...

    I'm still having problems with people who wholeheartedly support the man who was asleep at the wheel when 9/11 happened.

    Michael Goldman, a Bush supporter from Maplewood, says the public gloating he hears around town makes his blood boil. "You hear these dumb people at ShopRite criticizing the president, and they're not even well informed," said Mr. Goldman, a retired textile salesman. "It's all emotions and little fact. What they don't realize is that only Bush can keep us safe."

    Anyone else feel safe? Posted by Hello

    posted by tbogg at 11:13 PM



    Ever seen a grown man dressed up like a Klingon....?

    Tomorrow (or more likely today by the time you read this) the daughter and I will be making our annual pilgrimage to Comic-Con here in San Diego. Although we're not what you would call comic book readers or sci-fi fans, it's always a great wallow in pop culture with the added bonus of being able to gawk at the geeks, freaks, and those who are remarkably free of any self-conciousness about dressing up like their favorite comic or movie character and going out in public.

    Since I'm not going to the Democratic Convention, this will have to do. There are some eerie similarities though....

    (Images courtesy of Disembodied Brain)

    posted by tbogg at 10:39 PM


    Friday, July 23, 2004


    Who let the doggerel out...

    After reading this post, reader Sherry went in search of more breathless prose from Gerard van der Leun.

    Unfortunately, she found some.

    My favorite passage:

    The poem's not a path to some fat pension,
    Nor like some hired hand releasing inner tension.
    It requires nothing less than all the soul and mind,
    And is, like love and Homer, always blind.

    It is not made in workshops, whole or part,
    But in the "rag and boneshop of the heart."
    And those that cannot blindly see and sense
    Must chained forever be in Castle Indolence.

    All poetry is dreaming written clear
    To the inner eye that wakes the sleeping ear.
    You must listen to crushed silence, seeing only night,
    If you would give your readers second sight.

    I really must get out my rhyming dictionary and find out what rhymes with 'crapulent'...

    There's pictures too.

    Dude. The Renaissance called. They said thanks for applying but they don't have any positions open at this time and that they'll keep your resume on file in case something comes up.

    posted by tbogg at 9:55 AM



    She is the very model of a modern meddlesome Mummy

    This week America's Worst Mother™ drops a bombshell on us, admitting that she is an overbearing hectoring Mummy. Quite frankly I haven't been so stunned since Shaquille O'Neill announced that he was "a large black man".

    It seems that it took a trip to the neighborhood pool with Anselma, Turnip, Levitra, and Horatio for Meghan to realize that she is constantly pick, pick, picking on the kids:

    The more extensive category of What Having Children Teaches You: Dismaying, contains, it turns out, a reservoir that is more like a Cassandra's box. In this reservoir, or box, are endless quantities of tedious, prefabricated comments of the sort every childless career-gal self swears she will never utter. These include, but are not limited to: "You're not going out of this house looking like that," and "I told you so," and "Go put a sweater on, I'm cold." With the advent of children, one recapitulates a long evolutionary line of hector and reprimand presumably originating with Lucy, the Australopithecus. One discovers a fantastic inherited capacity for nagging. One tires of the sound of one's own voice, as I did on this very day on the steps leading up to the swimming pool.

    Molly: (Wincing as her bare foot meets a rock) Ow!

    Me: Put your shoes on, please.

    Molly: It's okay, we're almost there.

    Me: (Chippily) Why do you suppose Daddy and I buy you shoes, sweetheart? To. Protect. Your. Feet. Got it? Put them on.

    Molly: But —

    Me: Is there some reason you will not wear your shoes?

    Molly: No. Okay. Sorry.

    Me: (Splashing uncontrollably into the Reservoir of Nag) I'm not sure you're aware, Molly, but other people take considerable trouble to ensure that you have food to eat, and a house to live in, and shoes to wear. Your feet grow, you need new shoes. So I pile everyone in the car, we go and get you a pair of shoes. To pay for those shoes, Daddy must work long hours. He does not work just for fun, but —

    Unmentioned is the family's deep dark secret that Daddy actually works long hours to stay away from home and get some peace and quiet. That, and to afford his mistress. Daughter Turnip (she's the studious one) will be covering these issues in her memoirs: Bulimic, OCD, Passive/Aggressive, and Gay: Growing Up Gurdon. Check your local listings for her Oprah appearance.

    Other things Meghan tells the kids:

    "I work my fingers to the bone cranking out one column a week for NRO and this is the thanks I get."

    "Levitra, please take your tongue out of the wall socket."

    "Horatio. Take off your sister's underwear this instant."

    "No. You may not have dinner until Mummy has finished her pitcher of Harvey Wallbangers"

    "Put your clothes on this instant and quit playing with your penis"
    (Sorry. That one was for Mr. Meghan.)

    "Because I'm the Mummy, that's why. Now eat your trifle..."

    Back to Meghan's story, she later decides that in the world of Gurdon "tough-love" she's giving off too much tough and not enough love:

    "Mollikins," I say, looking earnestly at her, "Please forgive me nagging you earlier about your shoes."

    "That's all right," she says.

    "The content of what I said is true. You really ought to wear your shoes. But I wish I had used a more pleasant tone of voice."

    "Thank you, Mummy," says she, "I will."

    "One needs, as a mother, to keep things in order," I continue, as much to myself as to her, "But one must be vigilant to keep from turning everything into a total nagfest."

    I'm not sure if Meghan is being ironic here or not, but I was waiting for Anselma to say, "Mummy, would you shut the hell up already! Christ almighty! Go read your Sidney Sheldon and let me get back in the damn pool. I mean, Jesus!".

    But somehow I don't think readers of The Fever Swamp would appreciate that kind of talk.

    Then again, maybe they would....

    Bonus Manly Sighting: "Let's see...," Paris puts his splinted hand ruminatively to his chin. "I guess I'll be a sting ray."

    Super Extra Bonus Anglicism Sighting: Molly: Please don't be cross, Mummy. I have put them on.

    posted by tbogg at 6:49 AM


    Thursday, July 22, 2004


    You may never have heard of him, but you've probably heard him

    RIP Jerry Goldsmith.

    When I was growing up it seemed like every movie had his name in the credits. Lilies of the Field, Seven Days in May, The Sand Pebbles, Planet of the Apes, Patton, Gremlins, Hoosiers, ....

    Along with Elmer Bernstein (The Magnificent Seven, To Kill A Mockingbird) and Bernard Herrmann (Citizen Kane, Psycho, Taxi Driver), he was one of the greats.

    Go count how many you've seen.

    (Added) Reader Stephen writes:

    I've written to you before, last time was about Bad Religion, as I had worked on their next to last album that came out around 12/01.

    I also worked at Capitol Studios in Hollywood for several years, where we did a great deal of film and TV scoring, and while I never worked with Jerry, I have worked with his son, who is very cool.

    But you mentioned Elmer Bernstein; what an amazing guy. I don't know how much you know about the mechanics of scoring, but the conductor these days often isn't the composer (as in the case of Danny Elfman, and other talented, but un-schooled musicians). Bur Elmer, being the epitome of cool, as well as a serious musician, conducts his own music. The conductor watches a screen or monitor which shows the video for the scene, and which has "streamers" superimposed on it; colored bars that indicate various things: green for start of the cue, red for the end, various other colors for special "hits" within the cue, in other words, visual aids and placemarkers.

    No rock and roll session has ever given me as many goose bumps as listening to a 70 piece orchestra play a film cue the first time and make it sound like they have rehearsed it for 3 years. But NOTHING is as cool as watching Elmer conducting a 3 minute cue, never looking at the monitor, and hit the downbeat right on the red streamer. The man is a God, a pro, and legend.


    posted by tbogg at 11:12 PM



    Well, yeah, I can see why he would think this was important commentary

    I've always admired the way that Glenn Reynolds can link to another blogger's "thoughts" and call them "interesting" in such a manner that allows him to keep his distance in case the blogger in question is an even bigger whackaloon than his writings would indicate. But if I were Steven Den Beste I would consider suing the Professor for linking me in the same sentence with this brilliant analyst:

    I realize that it has to be tough to sit in the NR's offices day after day and watch the Left and the Democrats sling one plague ridden corpse after another over the wall, but you just have to hunker down and take it until the right moment, which is not.... quite.... yet.

    Yes, we've had the Wilson Corpse, the Clarke Corpse, the Clinton Corpse, the Moore Corpse, the 9/11 Report Corpse -- all of these disgusting hunks have been lobbed in and now are scattered about the political landscape in various stages of decomposition. It's got to be getting rank in the Republican Fortifications, and there have to be a lot of people wanting to whip out the flamethrowers and start sanitizing the joint.

    But patience, patience, patience please. Always remember that "A Drug and Democrat Free America comes first. "

    You see, it really doesn't matter what happens in the next couple of weeks. All that matters is what happens in October.

    Yes, there's going to be a Democratic Convention next week. Nothing can be done about that, it is our way. And yes, we're going to be getting even greater levels of putrid pablum spewed about by the media as the preening pundits of puce prevarication strut and fret their hours behind the teleprompter. It will be a sickening time as we watch, night after night, the chosen of the party hard at work defining deviancy as Democratic. But that is not a bad thing. It helps people to make a choice.

    In time the convention will, like some mistakenly swallowed razor blade, pass. Then the annointed demented will ooze out on the streets to take their platform of taxation, complaint and appeasement to the American people in the form of what is possibly the most boring Democratic candidate since Mortimer Snerd.

    Do you really want the President to say anything substantive that would allow these quislings and poltroons to be able to grind it through their lie machine? I think not. Why hand your enemy ammunition when you can watch him use up his own puncturing his clown shoes?


    "...greater levels of putrid pablum spewed about by the media as the preening pundits of puce prevarication strut and fret their hours behind the teleprompter."

    Kind of makes you wish you couldn't read english, doesn't it?

    posted by tbogg at 10:17 PM



    My big fat gay President

    Andy outs W:

    The only faintly civil impulse is the president's declaration that the debate should be conducted with respect. I will grant the president the benefit of the doubt on this if and when he ever says the words "gay and lesbian citizens." It is the first mark of respect to call people by their name. But he won't. We are unmentionable to him - because if he ever named us, he would humanize us, and if he humanized us, it would become clear how callous and divisive his policies are. I am amused by the fuss made by Bush's refusal to visit the NAACP, and go to the Urban League instead. Isn't it telling that no one even asks whether the president has met with any group representing millions of his fellow gay Americans?(my emphasis)

    posted by tbogg at 10:09 PM



    Listen to me dammit! I only have 30 seconds of fame left!!!

    Roy points out that Lil Annie Panic just...won't....let...go:

    On Monday, a Federal Air Marshal Service spokesman, Dave Adams, said that the suspicious characters on Flight 327 were musicians. The man in the yellow shirt was a drummer, he said. "We interviewed all 14 of these individuals," Adams said. "They were members of a Syrian band" traveling to a gig at a casino near Los Angeles, he said, adding that their names were run through "every possible" data bank and terrorist watch list. "They were scrubbed. Nothing came back."

    Annie Jacobsen isn't convinced. I asked her about the inevitable charge that ethnic stereotyping was driving her narrative. "I am simply not a racist," she said. "I travel everywhere. This situation was entirely different. I have never been so terrified."

    I'm still waiting to hear her explanation for this:

    I looked around to see if any other passengers were watching. I immediately spotted a distraught couple seated two rows back. The woman was crying into the man's shoulder. He was holding her hand. I heard him say to her, "You've got to calm down." Behind them sat the once pleasant-smiling, goatee-wearing man.

    I grabbed my son, I held my husband's hand and, despite the fact that I am not a particularly religious person, I prayed. The last man came out of the bathroom, and as he passed the man in the yellow shirt he ran his forefinger across his neck and mouthed the word "No."

    Better that than "Auuugh!"

    (Added): Annie wins a coveted Prick of thre Week

    posted by tbogg at 11:27 AM



    Defining "trophy wife" down....

    Okay. I found this at Wonkette who pretty much said all that needed to said about it....

    Except for the obvious.

    These are not potential "trophy wives". They are the semi-cute usually picked up over at the Remaindered Bar just before closing time.

    This a trophy wife.

    I'm glad we cleared that up....

    posted by tbogg at 10:39 AM



    Home of serious policy discussion and haberdashery tips....

    For those keeping score at home, the Chuck E. Cheese table at The Corner posted on "stuffing things in your socks" this many times:


    While this may not seem too enlightening to most, it did keep Dick Morris out of the foot porn sites...for a day or two...

    posted by tbogg at 9:54 AM


    Wednesday, July 21, 2004


    Bring on the B-team
    The Republicans have announced their line-up for the 2004 Convention and it contains all the oratorical firepower that you might expect, including a special speaker who hits the Karl Rove trifecta

    African American
    and a virgin

    (No. Not her)

    Actually it's Erika Harold. You know. Erika Harold? Miss America 2003? Oh, just go here fer cryin' out loud:

    Harold responded to the "encouragement" by sticking to the subject of youth violence during the national pageant and immediately after, when she flew to Brussels for the launch of the World Health Organization's Report on Violence and Health, and garnered the support of several other social and political advocacy groups, including the Anti-Defamation League and the National Center for Victims of Crime. She repeated a litany of heartbreaking stories about the racial and sexual harassment she suffered in the ninth grade, a brutal time in which she said she was called a whore and a slut, and discovered that kids were pooling lunch money to buy a rifle to kill her. (my emphasis) 
    Now that is a story that will resonate with the attending Republican delegates who pretty much all were unpopular in high school (as well as being unattractive and lousy dancers).

    I'm sure the topic of Ms. Harold's speech will be abstinence and morals and values and uh...uh....well, maybe a few of the delegates won't stick around because they're out seeing the sights. Yeah. That's it. The sights. They'll be seeing them..

    With thousands of Republicans set to invade the city this summer, high-priced escorts and strippers are preparing for one grand old party.

    Agencies are flying in extra call girls from around the globe to meet the expected demand during the Aug. 30-Sept. 2 gathering at Madison Square Garden.

    "We have girls from London, Seattle, California, all coming in for that week," said a madam at a Manhattan escort service. "It's the week everyone wants to work."

    "It's going to be big," agreed one operator at a midtown escort service.
    Charging from $300 to upwards of $1,000 for an hour of companionship and a whole lot more, escorts said they can always count on conventioneers for big business.

    "It doesn't matter what party you come from," said Robyn Few, a $500-an-hour California call girl who now runs Sex Workers Outreach Project, an advocacy group. "When you want to buy sex, you will."

    That's the hope among escort services expecting a windfall from randy Republicans.

    I want to be fair to the Republican delegates. Many of them , okay, a few of them at least,  will not be going to New York in search of some strange-lovin'. Many will be there to select their nominee and patiently listen to speakers like Ms. Harold...while wondering what she looks like naked.

    (Bonus speaker!) Sen Rick Santorum has also been invited to speak! Here we see Rick's secretary putting the finishing touches on his speech.

    God, she is one hot bitch..... Posted by Hello

    posted by tbogg at 10:49 PM



    Don we now our MRC kneepads

    Tim Graham publicly fellates Brent Bozell for a column that is pretty mediocre and weak, even by Bozell standards, and throws in an bonus plug for Bozell's book:

    Uh-oh. Liberals, watch out. Brent Bozell has the goods on the new Move0n DVD campaign against Fox. And yeah, he is the guy with that new book, Weapons of Mass Distortion: the Coming Meltdown of the Liberal News Media.

    Did I mention that Tim Graham works for Bozell?

    Looks like someone is going to get a little extra in his next paycheck. Probably just enough to allow him to supersize his hooker when he attends the NYC Republican Convention....

    posted by tbogg at 11:49 AM



    Dark and, you know, stormy and stuff...

    Via Julia we find that the Bulwer-Lytton awards are out.

    My personal faves:

    The notion that they would no longer be a couple dashed Helen's hopes and scrambled her thoughts not unlike the time her sleeve caught the edge of the open egg carton and the contents hit the floor like fragile things hitting cold tiles, more pitiable because they were the expensive organic brown eggs from free-range chickens, and one of them clearly had double yolks entwined in one sac just the way Helen and Richard used to be.
    Pamela Patchet Hamilton
    Beaconsfield, Quebec

    It was a dark and stormy night--actually not all that dark, but more dusky or maybe cloudy, and to say "stormy" may be overstating things a bit, although the sidewalks were still wettish and smelled of ozone, and, truth be told, characterizing the time as night is a stretch as it was more in the late, late afternoon because I think Oprah was still on.
    Gregory Snider, MD
    Lexington, KY

    posted by tbogg at 11:25 AM


    Tuesday, July 20, 2004


    Wilson and Berger and Moore, oh my!

    The Professor is in full-on strokin' it mode over the Sandy Berger thing (which will probably fizzle out in a week or two, Drudge willing,, since there's no there there)and that has almost untracked him from his Wilson beat(off), and hell, he's even almost forgotten about Michael Moore.

    All of this is to say that, when confronted with an ugly truth, it's time to deflect, deflect, deflect...

    Love all the quotes from the Limbaughs of the world that "If Condi Rice had done this she would have been driven from office..."

    Which would be a shame when you consider the totally bitchin' job she's done so far....

    Bet this doesn't show up on her resume.... Posted by Hello

    posted by tbogg at 10:58 PM



    George Bush....in his bachelor pad....with a bong

    I'm sorry. I thought we were playing Clue.

    posted by tbogg at 3:52 PM



    The possibilities are endless....

    Start working on your questions now:

    Bush’s twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna, were to accompany him Tuesday. It’s the first time they have made joint appearances with their dad on the campaign trail, although they each have traveled separately with him on other outings. The twins also will take part in an online chat Friday on Bush’s re-election Web site.

    Jello shots or body shots?

    posted by tbogg at 12:25 PM



    You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers, these are people of the land, the common clay of the New West. You know . . . morons.

    Rick Perlstein on the True Believers:

    The vibe at my next stop is different. None of the people at Kitty and Tom Harmon's bungalow are stupid. Instead they are the kind of "well-informed" that comes from overlong exposure to conservative media: conservatives who construct towers of impressive intellectual complexity on toothpick-weak foundations. My hosts are Stepford-nice (Mom sports "Hello Kitty!" seat covers in her car and loads me down with shortbread for the flight home; Dad shows off the herb garden he'll use to season my eggs if I consent to stay the night). But everyone present shows a glint of steel when their man's character is challenged.

    "One of the reasons I respect this president is that he is honest. I believe that after eight years, the dark years of the Clinton administration, we finally have a man in the White House who respects that office and who speaks honestly."

    The speaker is Christina, an intense, articulate, and passionate publicist.

    "Such a refreshing change for the country. People believe in the president."

    I don't mention recent poll figures suggesting that more Americans believe John Kerry than Bush when it comes to terrorism.

    After affirming "I still believe that there are weapons of mass destruction"—the commonplace is beyond challenge—Christina displays another facet of the conservative fantasy: Going into Iraq, she says, "is not the sort of thing one does if one wants to be popular. . . . He doesn't stick his finger in the wind." I don't challenge that point, either—though if I did I might ask why Bush scheduled the divisive debate over the intervention for the height of the 2002 campaign season, more certain of what Andrew Card called "new products" than his father, who held off deliberation on the first Iraq war until after the 1990 congressional elections.

    Instead I challenge the grandmotherly lady sitting on the piano bench.

    Says Delores: "There is an agenda—to get rid of God in our country."

    Chirps the reporter: Certainly not on the part of John Kerry, who once entertained dreams of entering the priesthood.

    I'm almost laughed out of the room.

    I ask why Kerry goes to mass every week if he's trying to get rid of God. "Public relations!" a young man calls out from across the room. "Same reason he does everything else." Cue for Delores to repeat something a rabbi told her: "We have to stand together, because this is what happened in Europe. You know—once they start taking this right and that right. And you have the Islamic people . . . "

    She trails off. I ask whether she's referring to the rise of fascism. "We're losing our rights as Christians: yes. And being persecuted again."

    posted by tbogg at 10:48 AM


    Monday, July 19, 2004


    You mean 1100 people didn't storm the lobby and start flinging feces?

    First we read this:

    Singer Linda Ronstadt was thrown out of the Aladdin casino in Las Vegas on the weekend after dedicating a song to liberal filmmaker Michael Moore and his movie "Fahrenheit 9/11," a casino spokeswoman said Monday.

    Ronstadt, who had been hired for a one-show engagement Saturday night at the Las Vegas Strip casino, dedicated a performance of "Desperado" to Moore and his controversial documentary, which criticizes President Bush and the U.S.-led war in Iraq.

    That dedication angered some Aladdin guests who spilled drinks, tore down posters and demanded their money back, said casino spokeswoman Sara Gorgon.

    "We had quite a scene at the box office," she said.

    About a quarter of the 4,500 people in the audience got up and left before the performance had finished, Gorgon said.
    (my emphasis)

    Then there is this:

    From a reader:

    Mr. Goldberg --
    My wife & I were at the Linda Ronstadt performance in question, at the Aladdin in Las Vegas, and quite frankly, Aladdin President Bill Timmins' account of what happened is complete crap. There was mixed booing and cheering at Ronstadt's pro-Michael Moore comment, and that was about the extent of the "bedlam" that supposedly broke out. I saw no posters being torn down or cocktails being thrown in the air, and if people stomped out of the theatre unhappy, it was because 1) that was the last song Ronstadt performed; it was her encore; and 2) she mainly sang her standards repertoire, with the Nelson Riddle orchestrations, and a large part of the crowd wanted to hear more of her rock-'n'-roll stuff; she got the biggest round of applause for doing a lackadaisical run-through of her version of "Blue Bayou."

    Frankly, my suspicion is that Timmins is way overdramatizing what happened, in order to justify giving Ronstadt the boot. It simply wasn't that big a deal.

    Maybe the people were just trying to beat the rush to get out of the Aladdin and get to the good casinos....

    posted by tbogg at 11:37 PM



    This years model

    Annie Jacobson is making the most of her 15 minutes and becoming this year's version of Eunice Stone:

    TERROR IN THE SKIES AUTHOR Annie Jacobsen is on MSNBC right now, with her husband.

    UPDATE: Good hour of TV. The Jacobsens seemed credible -- by which I mean they seemed honest. The experts afterward were skeptical that they actually witnessed anything untoward, but they all agreed that security is still weak. Annie Jacobsen said that the investigators couldn't even say what kind of instruments the musicians were carrying suggesting that the investigation wasn't as thorough as the FBI is claiming, and at the end Joe Scarborough said they had been flooded with emails from passengers and crew who said that things have seemed odd lately on a number of flights.

    ...and now she's back for more:

    Since publishing the first article, I have received dozens of emails from people in the airline industry, including flight attendants, captains and pilots, some of whom I have also spoken with on the telephone. As of Sunday morning, to my knowledge, WWS had received no emails from anyone in the airline industry suggesting that the incident described in my first article did not happen.

    If I let my imagination run away with me and start to believe that Jennifer Anniston wants to play naked wheelbarrow with me....well, who's to say it isn't true?

    posted by tbogg at 11:23 PM



    Since you asked....

    Regarding Sandy Berger, Hugh Hewitt asks:

    Ask yourself what would be going on in Washington, D.C. tonght(sic), and on the network news, within the blogospere, and in the morning papers, if it had been revealed that Condi Rice was the target of a criminal investigation for removing classified handwritten notes from the government records relating to terrorism.

    Even if Rice had taken some notes or memos, it probably wouldn't be a big thing since she's not really big on actually reading them.

    She has been made to appear out of the loop by colleagues' claims that she did not read or recall vital pieces of intelligence. And she has made statements about U.S. intelligence on Iraq that have been contradicted by facts that later emerged.

    The remarks by Rice and her associates raise two uncomfortable possibilities for the national security adviser. Either she missed or overlooked numerous warnings from intelligence agencies seeking to put caveats on claims about Iraq's nuclear weapons program, or she made public claims that she knew to be false.

    Most prominent is her claim that the White House had not heard about CIA doubts about an allegation that Iraq sought uranium in Africa before the charge landed in Bush's State of the Union address on Jan. 28; in fact, her National Security Council staff received two memos doubting the claim and a phone call from CIA Director George J. Tenet months before the speech. Various other of Rice's public characterizations of intelligence documents and agencies' positions have been similarly cast into doubt.

    "If Condi didn't know the exact state of intel on Saddam's nuclear programs . . . she wasn't doing her job," said Brookings Institution foreign policy specialist Michael E. O'Hanlon. "This was foreign policy priority number one for the administration last summer, so the claim that someone else should have done her homework for her is unconvincing."

    posted by tbogg at 10:57 PM



    Thanks, but that's more than I want to know....

    Besides linking to a hilarious New Yorker column, Ezra weighs in on C2 and the comments start to flow.

    The Bush/Kerry divide has nothing on the soda wars.

    For the record, the daughter and I are pretty big on C2 and we're not into that whole carb-watch thing.

    posted by tbogg at 10:22 PM



    A fairly safe prediction...

    This Krugman column is going to be the talk of the blogosphere all week long.

    The freepers and the warbloggers (and the line between them is becoming as narrow as Dick Cheney's arteries) are going to be frothing at the mouth over this one.

    It's an absolute must read.

    posted by tbogg at 10:01 PM




    I'm sure you've already heard about this, but thanks to Kevin for asking.

    posted by tbogg at 10:20 AM



    Why, yes....

    It is a slow news day.

    It is any wonder why Drudge is so influential?

    posted by tbogg at 10:15 AM


    Saturday, July 17, 2004


    By semi-popular demand...

    People have written asking to see Satchmo who has been mentioned so many times on this blog Here you go:

    Satchmo the Wonder Bassett and Beckham the Possessed-By-Satan Bassett. Posted by Hello

    No. This doesn't mean the beginning of Bassett Blogging Saturday....

    posted by tbogg at 12:26 AM


    Friday, July 16, 2004


    Window seat or aisle? Swarthy or non-swarthy?
    I read this article last night and thought it was hilarious (particularly the part where one of the Syrian's asked the author's husband, "Do you mind if we dance wif yo date?"). World O'Crap makes it...hilarious-er.

    Meanwhile Lilek's goes all nasal-whiny-mommy-mommy!:
    Our present enemy will nuke us as soon as they can, because it means heaven, period.
    I hate this; God I hate this. But I don’t have any longing for normalcy, as Noonan put it the other day, because normalcy was a delusion, a diaphanous curtain draped over the statue of Mars. Nor do I want a time out, a breather, an operational pause. I want to cut to the chase.
    I say we give them Gnat...

    posted by tbogg at 8:01 AM



    Ward? I'm worried about the Beaver. No. Not that one...
    This week has been a particularly gay week in America with continous talk about gay marriage  and how it's probably a bad thing and what about the children? So it's not too surprising that todays  America's Worst Mother  it's all manly-son, all the time. Daughters Hibiscus, Ephemera, and Newt are rarely seen...much like Mary Cheney.  Instead we are informed that son Arthur Rex has taken up the manly art of...whittling:
    Now, in between bursts of wild athleticism, he will sit in prolonged, silent contentment cutting down a length of Laurentien smoke grey/gris fer acquired in Canada, or a Crayola mahogany/acajou bought here, or a bright pink UltraColor (TM) of no fixed origin.

    "Make sure to cut away from yourself," my husband will say, as he arrives home to find Paris on the front steps, spraying shards of painted wood.

    "I will."

    "Welcome home," I greet my husband. Tousling the head of the heir, I too will say, "Make sure to cut away from yourself."

    "I will."
    (Please note the cameo appearance by Mr. Meghan who is always coming and going, and going and coming...and always too soon.)
    Anyway, to make a short column even shorter, and since we can see it coming from a mile away(thanks to Meghan's oh-so-subtle foreshadowing), the wildly athletic Arthur Rex does what you knew he was going to do:
    We are nattering away pleasantly about this and that, and occasionally adjudicating a case of "Violet said," and "RJ won't," and handing out more bits of bread, when —
    "Aagh! Mummy!"

    I am not quick to leap out of my seat. People are constantly yelling, "aagh, Mummy!" around me, and usually they have stubbed their toe. But when Paris' voice rises sharply, so do I.

    "Aaaagh! Mummy!"

    Paris is standing atop a little earthen hut in the children's garden. He is flapping his hands and something dark is spraying and spattering across his white shirt and bare arms. I race to grab a handful of napkins from our picnic and run to him, aware that I too am flapping my hands, with the same expression out of Edvard Munch.
    "Oh, God, sweetheart, oh, no, what's happened? Here, clamp this over — " The expanse of white napkin blooms bright red, and I tighten my hands over it. Paris looks up at me, his face white under streaks of dirt and tears.

    "I forgot. I cut towards — "
    Yes. Arthur Rex has cut himself and now Meghan must rush him to Emergency which conveniently allows her to complain, once again, about doctors and nurses who continually ignore her and her perfect chidren while instead helping others who aren't as Anglocentric as the Gurdon clan:
    The emergency room, when we reach it, is apparently staffed by lotus-eaters. Let a blood-spattered mother and son step through the automatic doors, and the indifference is so thick you can cut it with a pocket knife. Indifference is an exaggeration; it is as though we are not there.
    "Excuse me?" I say after a while to a nurse behind a protective plexiglass panel. She does not look up, and moves away. I fill out a little sheet of paper (patient name, patient age, nature of patient's complaint), slip it under the panel, and gently guide Paris towards the waiting area.

    A TV mounted above everyone's heads is running an infomercial about abdominal bloating which features many swollen female midriffs, an animated colon, and consequent happy faces of relief. Paris sits on my lap and watches it. The other patrons sit in attitudes of resignation. We are none of us made-for-TV emergencies, but the lassitude is unbelievable.
    "Mwandi mfumo?" a nurse says hesitantly, coming into the waiting room.

    "Mwend — "
    A dazed-looking woman rises, one hand to her head, and follows the nurse down a hallway.

    Can't they see her son, the Pride of Western Civilization, is bleeding
    Meghan then takes Arthur's hand into her own hands and does the Florence Nightingale thing:
    An hour later, having stopped at the drugstore and applied, in the parking lot, antibacterial gel, no-stick bandages, and a peewee sized finger splint, and having reacquired the girls, who had gone off with Charlotte and RJ, we arrive home. Everyone unfurls from the car and of course tread immediately on the festive splinters of wood left by Paris the Scrimshaw Man.

    "Say," I suggest rakishly, "how about a little — "
    "No thanks," Paris says, "In fact, Mummy, I think I'm going to take a break from whittling."
    Awww. Cue the theme music, roll the credits.
    Next week: Arthur wakes up from a special boy dream and discovers a new toy that was always in front of him...

    posted by tbogg at 6:54 AM


    Thursday, July 15, 2004


    Shorter Den Beste 
    When faced with facts that are inconvenient, declare them irrelevant and point out that might makes right.
    I guess it's also time to invoke Den Beste's Law
    Lots of links prove that you did your homework but they don't necessarily mean that your homework is correct.
    Added: Yes. things are going swimingly in Iraq. Of course, the 31 dead Americans since the handover could just be a "perception". Their families may beg to differ....

    posted by tbogg at 10:06 PM



    George needs Dick
    Dick Cheney isn't walking away from his job (we never ever thought he would walk away, maybe leave on a gurney, but not walking):
    Vice President Dick Cheney says rumors aside, he's not dropping out of the race.

    President Bush has been "very clear he doesn't want to break up the team," Cheney said in a C-SPAN interview that will be broadcast Sunday.
    There has been persistent speculation that
    Cheney would step down for political or health reasons.

    "He's made his decision," Cheney said of Bush. "I've made mine. I suppose right now, because we're in the run up to the convention, people don't have much to talk about so you get speculation on that. It's normal. When we get to the convention, I think that'll put an end to it."
    Cheney also said, "Now why don't you ****ing so-called journalists just drop it before I come over to your ****ing houses and **** your kids and your ****ing wife with a *****, you little half-***ed ***** *************,  ******* **** and than I'll let my Secret Service detail **** your *****
    till your *** falls off, you ******-***** ****, ********!"
    Then the Vice President boarded his campaign plane ,the Obscene Gerund II, and headed off to **** America's taxpayers out of even more of their tax dollars for his pals over at ******* Halliburton.
    Disclaimer: I made a some of this up.

    posted by tbogg at 6:43 PM



    Gay agenda item #162: Invade America's pastime.
    Let's be honest. For the most part the ranks of professional athletes aren't exactly a recruiting ground for MENSA. Baseball, which is less reluctant to draft athletes from high school than the other major sports (football and basketball...no, I don't count hockey), is loaded with kids from small towns who take their small town values and are shipped off to often smaller towns (Visalia, Billings, Idaho Falls anyone?) where they live eat and sleep baseball with the hope of making it to 'the show'. Except for the top picks who get the big signing bonuses, it's a hard life not exactly filled with opportunities to develop intellectually as a person or see much of the world other than what can be seen from a bus window. For a minor leaguer it's a state of continued adolescence playing a childs game, albeit better than most of us could ever dream of playing it.
    So when I read something like this:
    Most of the questions in a survey of Major League Baseball's 30 teams produced fairly clear-cut answers from the players on subjects ranging from best player and favorite ballpark to competitive balance and performance-enhancing drugs.
    In the above-mentioned survey, nearly 63 percent (475) of the major league population (750 players) responded to 10 "state of the game" questions posed by reporters from the Chicago Tribune and seven other Tribune Co. newspapers.
    Having a gay teammate: Better than 74 percent said it would not be a problem. 
    ...coming just two years after the Mike Piazza rumors, I find it intriguing how far acceptance of gays has slipped into the mainstream, contrary to the opinions of the Family Research Council.
    Next stop: NASCAR.

    posted by tbogg at 5:46 PM



    The accusation that dare not speak it's name
    Um! She can't say that! She can't say that!
    The verbal battle broke out after Rep. Steve Buyer, R-Ind., proposed a measure barring any federal official from requesting that the United Nations (news - web sites) formally observe the U.S. elections on Nov. 2.
    "We welcome America to observe the integrity of our electoral process and we do not ask, though, for the United Nations to come as monitors at our polling stations," Buyer said.

    "I come from Florida, where you and others participated in what I call the United States coup d'etat. We need to make sure it doesn't happen again," Brown said. "Over and over again after the election when you stole the election, you came back here and said, 'Get over it.' No, we're not going to get over it. And we want verification from the world."

    At that point, Buyer demanded that Brown's words be "taken down," or removed the debate's permanent record.

    The House's presiding officer, Rep. Mac Thornberry, R-Texas, ruled that Brown's words violated a House rule.

    "Members should not accuse other members of committing a crime such as, quote, stealing, end quote, an election," Thornberry said.

    Thin-skinned, aren't they?

    posted by tbogg at 5:31 PM



    And he's just the man for the job....
    Our Lady of the Dolphins says:
    A leader cannot seem ambivalent about crucial actions and decisions, and he can't seem so weighed down by the facts and implications of those decisions that people begin to wonder if he's lost his fight.
    If there was ever a President who wasn't "weighed down by the facts and implications"...
    Or, for you Shorter Peggy Noonan fans:
    I like 'em big and stupid.

    Additional note: When Noonan writes:

    We cannot leave Iraq and should not leave Iraq. Certainly lately, since the transfer of sovereignty, things seem to be looking up, but that may well prove temporary. But the great reason, as I have written before on Iraq, is that there's no way 'round it but through it. We have to stay, and we have to win.

    I have to wonder where Noonan's son is and why he isn't fighting to keep his mom from becoming one of the lesser concubines of some heavily bearded, wild-eyed jihadist bent on conquering America and enslaving his mom.

    Last we saw of him he was pounding down a brew with Peg.

    posted by tbogg at 4:31 PM



    Shedding her Hillary mask, the Senator unhinged her jaw and swallowed John Edwards whole as a warning....
    Over at the Corner, KJL has been IM'ing Barbara Comstock about her dream date with Rich Lowry their mutual Hillary obsession:
    Was just e-chatting with Barbara Comstock. Here's her read of the situation: "I think they are genuinely afraid of her stealing the limelight and there is no love lost between Kerry and Clintons since they wanted Wesley Clark as nominee.....And then you have the fact that Kerry DOES understand that Hillary's plans for 2008 are based on Kerry losing....there's no way around that . But I think the uproar from not having her was just too much to sustain the position. I think it's a good sign that the Kerry campaign is pretty tone deaf even within their own crowd.....and they are arrogant even among their own....."
    Do you get the feeling that, come Nov. 1 they'll still be talking about Hillary knocking off Kerry, draping his bloody shirt around her neck, and bravely stepping into the breech?

    posted by tbogg at 4:22 PM


    Wednesday, July 14, 2004


    Blogging the convention

    Actually, no, I'm not one of the select ones for many reasons, the primary one being: I never applied.

    First off, I never thought that I was exactly what they were looking for. Secondly, and most importantly, I don't like to travel. Hate planes, hate hotel rooms, hate meeting strangers (No. Really. I'm painfully shy...ask my wife). I would rather hurl myself down a flight of stairs than go to a party or a dinner with people that I don't know.

    About a year ago I attended a little get-together at Kevin Drum's house (before he became a Political Animal) and my wife still comments on how surprised she was that I didn't bail at the last moment. It was one of the most pleasant and entertaining evenings I've ever had...and one of the most personally excruciating. So, it would be safe to say that attending a hullabaloo like the Democratic Convention would probably be one of my personal Circles of Hell (coming right after a That's So Raven marathon).

    Therefore I will be blogging the bloggers who will be blogging about the bloggers at the convention.

    I'm guessing that someone will be blogging me blogging the bloggers who will be...

    ...this is why the Internet is infinite...except in Indiana.

    Additional personal note: The money that I am saving by not traveling to Boston (and I love Boston) will instead be used by my wife and daughter for yet another trip to Palm Springs where they will NOT, I repeat NOT, be buying another puppy.

    We should have named him Cerberus instead of Beckham...
     Posted by Hello

    posted by tbogg at 10:30 PM



    Maybe we should move the Pentagon to the Green Zone

    Guess is depends on your definition of safe....

    With tens of thousands of American troops hunkered down on yearlong tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, the military is arguably not the most family-friendly employer these days. Now add this to the list that the Pentagon is closing its child care center.

    Citing intelligence that the Pentagon is the second most likely target for a terrorist attack in the capital region after the White House, military officials want to shut the day care building next to the Pentagon by the fall. Officials said that they hoped to build a new center nearby but that it would not be finished until 2007.

    Dozens of Pentagon parents are expressing outrage at the decision, which was announced on July 7, arguing that their day care center faced no greater risk of attack than those operated for Senate and House employees on Capitol Hill or centers at other federal agencies like the State Department and Central Intelligence Agency.

    None of those sites plan to close, federal officials said.

    Despite all of this, America is safer:

    The world is changing for the better because of American leadership. Three years ago, Afghanistan was the home base of al Qaeda. Now, the terror camps are closed, democracy is rising, and the American people are safer. Three years ago, Pakistan was a safe transit point for terrorists on missions of murder. Now, we're working with the Pakistani government to find those killers in remote regions of that country, and America is safer. Three years ago, Saudi -- in Saudi Arabia, terrorists were -- were not challenged by that government. Today we're working with the Saudi government, and the Saudi government is running down al Qaeda leadership, and America is safer. (Applause.) Three years ago, three years ago, Libya was spending millions of dollars to acquire weapons of mass destruction. Now, thousands of Libyan chemical munitions have been destroyed. Libya has given up its nuclear processing equipment, and America is safer. (Applause.)

    Except when it's not....

    posted by tbogg at 10:18 PM



    He sounds almost Presidentable

    Mike Ditka bows out with a statement that is almost Bush-like:

    "Five [or] six years ago, I would have jumped on it, I would have ran(sic) with it and I know this -- that I would make a good senator because I'm for the people."

    Equal parts bad grammar and bullshit. C'mon, he's got a restaurant to run? That can't take any more time than it takes to knock up Karen Santorum every ten months....

    posted by tbogg at 9:39 PM



    Bob Casey wasn't allowed to speak to the '92 convention because he was anti-abortion
    Al Gore invented the internet
    Howard Fineman is a reputable journalist

    I haven't picked on Howie the Bush Nunn Bush humper for some time but he's using a Beltway myth to make his point:

    Republican strategists hope the gay marriage issue will be particularly helpful in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, which are home to one of the leading proponents of the amendment, Santorum. But a Pennsylvania Democrat with strong credentials as a cultural traditionalist contends it won't help the GOP much. "It could have an effect in some parts of the state," said Robert Casey, an ardent anti-abortion Catholic who is state auditor. (His late father and namesake was so anti-abortion that he was denied the opportunity to speak at a Democratic convention.)

    From Media Matters:

    According to those who actually doled out the 1992 convention speaking slots, Casey was denied a turn for one simple reason: his refusal to endorse the Clinton-Gore ticket. "It's [Casey's claim that he was denied a convention speech because of his pro-life views] just not factual!" stammers James Carville, apoplectic over Casey's claims. "You'd have to be idiotic to give a speaking role to a person who hadn't even endorsed you." "Why are you doing this to me?" moans Paul Begala, who, with Carville, managed two Casey campaigns before joining Clinton's team in 1992. "I love Bob Casey, but my understanding was that the dispute was not about his right-to-life views, it was about the Clinton-Gore ticket."

    But that's not what Lloyd Grove told Sally Quinn who dictated to Steno Sue Schmidt who told Chalabi who slipped a note to Judith Miller who......

    posted by tbogg at 2:25 PM


    Tuesday, July 13, 2004


    Why does Brent Baker hate the military?

    Writing about Outfoxed:

    Boynton found the film convincing: “It is not exactly earth-shattering, of course, to learn that Fox is more conservative than other news networks. What Outfoxed does is detail the specific ways, both onscreen and behind the scenes, in which the network's conservatism shapes its news and opinion programs. The most stinging blow that Outfoxed delivers to Fox's 'fair and balanced' claim comes in a segment of the film on the daily memos apparently sent to the entire Fox news operation by John Moody, Fox News's senior vice president for news and editorial. The memos, which Greenwald says were provided by two unnamed employees at the network, set the agenda for how events will be covered. One memo, thought to have been circulated at Fox in April, instructs employees how to report on the increasing number of American fatalities in Iraq: 'Do not fall into the easy trap of mourning the loss of U.S. lives,' it reads. Another memo outlines the approach to covering the United States military's siege on Falluja: 'It won't be long before some people start to decry the use of 'excessive force,' it says. 'We won't be among that group.' A third, on the 9/11 Commission, is equally firm: 'The fact that former Clinton and both former and current Bush administration officials are testifying gives it a certain tension, but this is not 'what did he know and when did he know it' stuff,' it cautions. 'Do not turn this into Watergate.” (my emphasis)

    To which Brent Baker writes:

    They sound to me like reasonable precautions to avoid falling into the liberal bias delivered by all the other networks, something that will never be a subject of a New York Times Magazine story.

    Brent than adds:

    On the page for the Times Magazine the newspaper has posted this question: “Is Fox News 'fair and balanced’?” As of a few hours ago, after I voted “yes,” the results stood at: Yes: 12% No: 88%

    That says a lot about the audience for the Times Web site.

    I think that all of this says a lot about you, Brent....

    posted by tbogg at 11:52 PM



    Operation Family Man

    Not to be upstaged by John Edwards who kids have yet to popped for underage drinking, Karl Rove got Jenna and Not-Jenna all cleaned up for appearances with their putative father. Here's Not-Jenna with dad going to Michigan. And here's Jenna with dad on their way to Pennsylvania (where presumably a Rolling Rock tour was planned).

    And for you dog lovers out there (sit down Santorum), here's official White House dog Barney playing Jack Ryan's career.

    posted by tbogg at 11:24 PM



    Rick admired the lovely orange jacket and wondered if it could be accessorized with a studded dog collar.

    If you're going to roll out someone who was a B-list celebrity in the seventies and has dropped so far down the alphabetical celebrity food chain that they haven't even discovered the letter for it yet, shouldn't you mandate a dress code?

    It was nice to see Dean Jones' cadaver make an appearance.

    Meanwhile, the scourge of Rhodesian Ridgebacks said:

    In a strongly worded speech, Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., said some criticism runs along these lines: "Marriage is hate. Marriage is a stain. Marriage is an evil thing. That's what we hear. People who stand for traditional marriage are haters, they're bashers, they're mean-spirited, they're intolerant. ... Well, we're not," he added.

    ...unless you're gay and you want to get married. We won't tolerate that.

    posted by tbogg at 11:06 PM



    Sure they can read. Understanding, on the other hand....

    Pinko Commie Biznitch News Network on selling books.

    The other day, however, I had a wee run in with a man who should really learn to keep his big mouth shut. The book is still at the front of the store because it's currently the #1 non-fiction book and it is SELLING, which, you would think Republican freakos would appreciate, the pursuit of the mighty dollar, yes? Oh, but no. This gentleman was so very concerned with my poor feminine self.

    I don't understand how you as a woman can walk by that book and not be appalled! Haven't you had complaints?!?!

    posted by tbogg at 10:57 PM



    Multiplying faster than Santorums....

    Chris sends me a link:

    8,000 bloggers born every day

    Weblog search engine Technorati says it is now tracking over three million weblogs, with 8,000-17,000 new blogs created every single day. That means that a new weblog is created somewhere in the world every 5.8 seconds. Of these, a reported 36 per cent irritate friends or family with their twitterings, while a staggering 12 per cent attract the attention of lawyers with their biting commentary.


    According to a survey by MIT conducted earlier this year, the great majority of bloggers identify themselves on their sites: 55 per cent of respondents provide their real names, while another 20 per cent provide some variant of the real name: first name only, first name and initial of surname, or just a pseudonym friends would know.

    I've just stuck with tbogg because all the really good names like Bloviatus Maximus or Emperor Premature Ejaculator were already taken....

    posted by tbogg at 10:30 PM



    You lies down with dogs.....

    Jeff Jarvis writes:

    Any friend of his...

    : Roger Simon should sue Amazon. My "plog" (which disappears on its own, by the way) started this way today:

    Jeffrey's Plog Beta Monday, July 12, 2004
    Weapons of Mass Distortion : The Coming Meltdown of the Liberal Media was released just 6 days ago on July 6, 2004; We thought you'd be interested because you bought Director's Cut : A Moses Wine Novel.

    Moses Wine, by smart man Roger Simon. Weapons of Mass Distortion by frightening self-appointed national nanny and religious fanatic and enemy of free speech and the First Amendment Brent Bozell. And what the hell made Amazon's computers think these would go together?

    If Jarvis (and Simon, for that matter) can't figure this one out, I'm not sure who can help them.

    posted by tbogg at 10:16 PM



    Volunteers of America

    Fun letter to the editor in South Florida:

    The Army is so short of help that it is recalling thousands who have served one enlistment, but still have a reserve obligation. This should be a call to arms for those who support our president's war effort.

    If you are among those who have written letters supporting the president, you have demonstrated that you have the ability to write a persuasive letter. You should turn your writing ability toward your children, grandchildren, nephews and nieces. Write them and urge them to join the president's battle for freedom by signing up with a branch of the military. If you are young enough, you should consider enlisting.

    We cannot depend on left-wing radicals to fill the gap. If you support President Bush, it is time to do more than just vote for him -- it is time to join his battle for freedom by enlisting, or by urging your friends and relatives to enlist. You might also consider writing your state and federal legislators and asking them to do the same.

    Brian Mattis
    Fort Lauderdale

    Recruiters are standing by......

    (Thanks to Richard)

    posted by tbogg at 1:22 PM



    Evildoers Hijacking America

    If you google www.bushcheney04.com they seem...confused.


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