Sense of entitlement

You've got to hand it to the Bush Administration; America is their playpen and they want all the toys. And the odd bagel. Here's hapless, over-his-head Tommy Thompson stealing food and newspapers on an airplane:

NPR's "On the Media" co-host Bob Garfield -- on his way to New York last Thursday morning to promote his book "And Now a Few Words From Me" -- stowed his bagel and newspaper on a front-row seat on the Delta Shuttle before walking back to confer with another passenger, former assistant secretary of state Charlotte Beers.

When he returned, Garfield told us, he was irked to discover that both the paper and the bagel were missing.

"If I find the person who took my bagel, I'll kill the SOB!" the media critic announced to a man sitting behind him -- a grim-looking, gray-suited, beefy type who, Garfield belatedly realized, was wearing a wire in his ear and protecting the gentleman sitting across the aisle -- the man who was, in fact, reading Garfield's newspaper and holding Garfield's bagel.

Namely, Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson.

It turns out that Thompson's traveling aide had assumed the bagel and paper were meant for his boss -- who's on a diet and isn't eating bagels these days anyway. When Garfield told Thompson the items were his, they were immediately surrendered.

"I guess you can never have too many newspapers," Garfield said.

"Oh yes, you can," Thompson muttered.

Yesterday Thompson spokesman Tony Jewell said the mix-up was the unidentified aide's, not the secretary's. Jewell added: "At a time when the nation has more important things going on than Mr. Garfield's bagel, this is obviously another example of why some people are fed up with certain members of the media. Maybe this is a subject Mr. Garfield can carefully examine on his show."

For those keeping score at home, this incident involved Thompson, his bodyguard, his spokesman, and an aide who's responsible for procuring newspapers and snacks for Tommy, as well as presumably cutting his meat for him.

Hope it's not the same guy who shakes his dick for him after he pees.