...and you thought "freedom fries" was stupid?

Outside of Steve Chabot's comb-over, there are few things in life sadder than a conservative's attempt at humor..or wit...or the appearance of style. But the idea of Conservative Ice Cream really rises to the top of the dumb idea foodchain:

AT LAST - A CONSERVATIVE ALTERNATIVE TO BEN & JERRY'S
Like millions of your fellow Americans, you enjoy ice cream but do NOT
enjoy seeing your money funneled to wacko left-wing causes. We are not
ashamed of America. We think it's the best country ever, and so we have
set out to make the best ice cream ever! We asked Moxley's, one of
America's premier producers of gourmet ice cream, to help us create a line
of tantalizing flavors from their award winning recipes, and to spare no
expense in the selection of ingredients or preparation process. The
result is Star Spangled Ice Cream, an exquisitely delicious hand-crafted
super premium ice cream featuring a smoothness, texture and taste you
simply cannot find in stores. We invite you to sample it and see for
yourself! And when you serve Star Spangled, you serve your country,
because we proudly donate 10 percent of our profits to charities that
support the men and women of the US Armed Forces.

Nothing like rank capitalistic opportunism to get those salivary glands pumping. And the choices:

I Hate The French Vanilla
Nutty Enviromentalist
Iraqi Road
Smaller Governmint.

I'm holding out for:

Jenna Bush Vodka Swirl
Chunky Cheney
Colin Powell Kinda-Dark Chocolate
Laura Bush's Chock Full O' Xanax