Omigod! Run!...It's loaded with boobs..and they look like they're going to explode!

Porno for theocrats.

Scranton, Pa., police say it wasn't funny.

A suspicious package found at the federal courthouse Saturday turned out to contain pornographic material and a note to Attorney General John Ashcroft.

The briefcase-size box was examined by the bomb squad, which decided to destroy it.

Sgt. Dave Benway said the note suggested the package was dangerous. He said he expects charges to be filed.

Last year, two partially nude statues in the Great Hall of the Department of Justice were covered up. A Justice Department spokesman said it was done for aesthetic reasons, but there were reports that Ashcroft didn't like being photographed in front of them.

After hearing that the porn was destroyed, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas burst into tears, sobbing, "Oh, the humanity...".