Our man Mitt! has blown several lifetime's worth of tithing on his campaign, and this is the thanks he gets?
Mike Huckabee's surge apparently isn't just happening in Iowa — he's moving up nationwide, too. The new Gallup poll has Huck in a three-way tie for second. Rudy Giuliani leads with a 25% plurality, with Huckabee at 16%, Fred Thompson 15%, John McCain 15%, and Mitt Romney 12%. Huckabee has gone up an amazing ten points in the last month.
Part of the Romney Master Plan for the United States of New Zion was to sell America on God (well, his god anyway) and family. But it looks like America prefers Huckabee's God and family instead.
The Romney boys:
Lil Huck:
It looks like it has finally reached the time to unleash Jon-Jon Romney:
Sunday Five Brothers Blogging - Mormon Firedrill Edition
I realize that most Romney's look alike but, when playing flag/touch/light tackling football, do they really need to wear colored bibs to figure out who is on which team? "Throw it to the white guy! Throw it to the white guy!"
I don't even want to get into the weird sexual dynamic of wearing one of your flags by your penis... unless you're playing Badtouch Football.
Sunday Five Brothers Blogging - The Hardest Working Man in Show Business Politics EditionWe be ballin'
Apparently internal polls within the Romney campaign show that people don't think that DadMitt has been as active as, say, Fred Thompson who has been staving off decomposition by occasionally clearing his throat and shifting in his chair while he naps.
Therefore the Five Brothers theme this past week has been "energetic".
I’ve stated a few times that one thing is for certain on this campaign trail—my Dad won’t get out worked by anybody. Matthew Miller at Race 4 2008 recently did a few hours or research using the Washington Post’s campaign tracker. Here are a few excerpts from his blog:
"1. Romney’s the hardest working candidate in the race. After tediously tallying each campaigns events, I’ve found that Romney has held 493 events since January 7th. 50 more then his closest competitor, John Edwards. 92 more then McCain. 95 more then Obama. 125 more then Hillary. And a whopping 227 more then Rudy.
My dad was in town last week for a very important play date. I've rarely seen my dad outpaced by anyone, but he admitted he was exhausted after following Parker around the park, the merry go round, and FAO Schwartz.
Yesterday I had the chance to spend the day on the campaign trail with my dad since he came for a visit to Southern California. I get asked all the time how my dad can maintain such a high energy level for so many consecutive days. Let me say honestly I just don’t know how he does it. It’s just the way he is. He’s the hardest worker I’ve ever known, and add the fact that he’s really smart and you’ve got a great combination. Hey this guy ought to be president or something.
5am: Wake up and go for jog. There are no pictures from this because I only woke up long enough to watch him go out the door ... then I went back to bed.
6:45am – 9:15am: I took my dad for a quick tour of my community, Rancho Bernardo, so he could see the devastation from the wild fires first hand. I’ve been helping a friend of mine, Reed, whose house sustained damage in the fire. We’ve been working on removing a stump from a big tree in his front yard that burned down. My dad joined me and a few others (my co-worker, Greg, my uncle, Jim, and Reed) to put some more work into it.
Later Mitt met with scientists from Mountain Dew Laboratories who took a sample of his blood which they intend to synthesize in order to create MittXXXXtreme!!, the first Postum-flavored high energy beverage.
Sunday Five Brothers Blogging - Are We There Yet? EditionDopey, Grumpy, Bashful, Sleazy, and Tagg
With baseball season ended, Los Hermanos Mitt are finding they don't have much to do until DadMitt gets elected Supreme AmericaGod Prime and they can start cashing in, so they've been killing time surfing on the internets at hotmormongirlsdrinkingRedBullandswearing.com and also at YouTube because, quite frankly, they're getting tired of driving around in the fucking MittMobile, talking to the fucking yokels, and faking admiration for their fucking Worlds Largest Screen Door or Worlds Largest something-the-fuck-or-another that people living in these fucking podunk towns build in the futile hope that a tourist might stop and take a picture of it and then might be convinced to help them escape from their smalltown hellhole of boredom, Sams Club, and American gothic existential horror before they go into the barn one gray and unrelenting afternoon with a rope and a footstool, praying that God will forgive them...
Next week the boys will be in Dyersville to see the Worlds Largest Water Heater.
Sunday Five Brothers Blogging - Oh, Mama EditionDeependra, Chandresh, Tungesh, Harshvardhan, and Tagg
Let's start with Tagg because he's the oldest and the favorite:
My Mom always taught me growing up that people would judge me by the friends I kept, and that I needed to be careful to develop friendships with people that would help me want to be better. On the campaign trail, I’ve been so gratified by the people who are associated with the Mitt Romney campaign. The staffers, both at the HQ and in the states, are almost universally pretty great people whom I’m proud to have as my colleagues and in many instances, my friends. And the list of endorsers we have compiled is made up of great men and women from across the country whom we’re proud to have on our team. I was in Florida recently with my parents at the Presidency IV convention, and have attached a photo of some of the people that were on the stage with us—Secretary of Agriculture Charles Bronson, Congressman Connie Mack, Congressman Tom Feeney, and Al Cardenas, a leading Florida business person.
Federal investigators are continuing on Rep. Tom Feeney's (R-FL) trail. The latest pin to drop -- the FBI has asked Florida Today for a video of an interview with Feeney. During the interview, from September of last year, Feeney minimized his relationship to Jack Abramoff to the vanishing point, saying that "“My office has never done anything for Jack Abramoff” and that "he’s never asked us for anything.” (The St. Petersburg Times later found a possible exception to that.)
“We didn’t have any relationship at all with him other than he gave us a contribution" was the kicker.
Feeney, of course, accompanied Abramoff on one of his infamous golf junkets to Scotland in 2003. Feeney was one among three lawmakers on the trip -- the other two were ex-Reps. Bob Ney (R-OH) and Tom DeLay (R-TX).
The assumption being that Feeney can help Tagg with his short game and playing out of the rough.
Meanwhile, Craig (the youngest) dresses up like his dad for Halloween:
...and hey! he has a great idea for his wife Mary, she should dress up like his mom!!:
I thought Mary would have made a great Ann, but she was set on Pocahontas
I know that there is this whole kinky/slutty thing going on with Halloween costumes these days, but asking your wife to dress up like your mom?.
Sunday Five Brothers Blogging - Special Early Halloween EditionJosh, Tagg, Ben, Matt, and Boof Boneser
Let's see...the Red Sox are in the World Series and Tagg invokes the dreaded "we":
A few of you have asked how I was able to watch the debate Sunday night as well as the Red Sox game. I had the hotel tape record the game for me and I watched it early (very early) Monday morning. The hard part was keeping people like Ben Ginsberg from telling me the score. And I started every interview in the spin room after the debate with, "If you tell me the score of the game, you will die. What's your next question?" My Dad was getting score updates while he was on the stage of the debate, and he got back in time afterwards to watch the magical 7th and 8th innings when we went from a 3-2 (should have been 3-3) lead to an 11-2 romp.
No, Tagg. Unless you were warming up in the bullpen or down in the clubhouse reviewing tape before you were due to pinch hit... you are not part of "we" even if you do have a cool warm-up jacket that you got for Christmas. And put your damn hat on right. Also, would it kill you to buy a fitted instead of an adjustable?
In the course of visiting our son and my brother in California, Mitt and I have always been struck by the strength of character of California's residents. Californians have faced these types of natural disasters in the past and have demonstrated the strength and determination to persevere and rebuild their homes and lives. The families affected by these fires and the courageous public servants fighting the fires will be in the thoughts and prayers of the Romney family.
Thanks Ann, You still not going to get our electoral votes, but we appreciate the thought.
Fortunately for Matt (who lives in San Diego) he won't have to demonstrate his strength and determination and perseverance and rebuild his home. That means his neighbors won't have to put up with looking at the MittMobile up on blocks on his lot for the next nine months.
Sunday Five Brothers BloggingRomney boys: Dirk, Lance, Chad, Tagg, and Blade
It's video week as La Famiglia di Romney hits the airwaves.
Here's Josh delivering an in-depth and comprehensive MittPlan for what ails MiTTchigan:
....and here is Ann (Mitt wife #1 with a bullet) talking about the family
Maybe it's just me, but after she said "We have five boys. Five boys and ten grandkids..." I though for sure that she was going to tell us how to get out those tough ground-in stains using OxyMitt! for that whiter than white clean...
Sunday Five Brothers Blogging - Zion or a Comfort Suites or Bust EditionRomney boys arrested after Red Bull & Postum-fueled crime spree
This week we discover Los Hermanos Romney don't quite understand the concept of the recreational vehicle and why it has beds in it.
Yes, they are Hardy Pioneers traveling this Great Country of Ours in the MittConnestoga before settling down for the night by setting up camp in the wilds of a Marriott parking lot.
Sunday Five Brothers BloggingTagg taunts Lee Siegel
Tagg thinks America is laughing with him, not at him:
You know you’ve made it in life when they do a cartoon of you at the New Yorker magazine. The cartoon below is a funny take on a news clip that Mike Luo at the New York Times revealed a few weeks back that I had had a conversation with my Dad in the early 90’s in which I told him I was considering registering as a Democrat (what can I say, we are all young and foolish once, right?) Fortunately I made the right call and stuck with the Grand Old Party, due in large part to my Dad walking me through the way he saw the differences between the parties and the values that were at their core. I love the Republican beliefs in strength, fiscal conservatism, capitalism, self-reliance, respect for life, and a commitment to family values, to name a few.
Of course, Mitt would also tell Tagg that we are all God’s children and that one should not hate Democrats—hate the party, not the party member. He would explain that he is personally offended by the way Democrats live their lives and by their perverse fondness for taxes, but he doesn’t oppose their right to live any way they wish. He would emphasize, however, the unhappy truth—as Tagg will learn—which is that Democrats aren’t like ordinary Americans. That knowledge gives Mitt Romney an inner strength. He knows that, if his words alone don’t suffice, there are support groups out there for people who find themselves helplessly sliding from one party to another.
It's nice to know that DadMitt (and his contributors) are cool with the idea of the campaign paying for his kids to take leave from their jobs to go to baseball games in Boston, Cincinnati, Baltimore, and a couple of football games in Florida under the guise of campaigning.
He really is a good dad.
Meanwhile, JonJon Romney can't wait for the playoffs to start.
Hopefully someone will unstrap him from the MittMobbile over-the-cab bunk to watch.
Meanwhile Matt reads DadMitts new book and thinks it's complete bullshit and ponders legally changing his name to OJ Simpson Jr. to avoid the shame.
Just kidding. He was dazzled:
I just downloaded and printed my dad’s new booklet entitled “Strategy for a Stronger America”. Though I haven’t gotten through everything yet, I have to say that I’m very impressed, but not surprised at all. While other candidates stay in the shallow waters of generalities, my dad has outlined in a very detailed way how he would address today’s biggest challenges to ensure that America continues to get stronger. This is typical of his penchant for detail and analysis when solving problems which he does better than anyone I’ve ever known.
In fact DadMitt touched on some of the biggest challenges facing America, this weekend in Michigan:
Romney hit some of the themes he needs to — he spoke on being a "Change Republican" and emphasized family values in particular. He also pointed out his support for the Federal Marriage Amendment, which, with Thompson's rejection of it, makes him unique among the major Republican candidates.
But then he says he's going to move "In God We Trust" to the front of the new dollar coins instead of the side. Hmmm. I guess I'm all for it, but the crowd took a few seconds to applaud, and I think most people were as confused as I was. Is that a new campaign promise?
Plus, I haven't seen his delivery this bad in quite a while. (I have seen it this bad before.) He was very slow winding up, and the speech has a lot of really, really lame applause lines. I couldn't take much more after this one:
"I'll make sure that our future is defined not by the letters ACLU, but by the letters USA."
Quite frankly the Five Brothers travels across America has become excruciatingly boring. This week we get Craig and his wife Mary and their son Parker in South Carolina and the people there are oh so wonderful and oh god we are oh so adorable.... and dull. Dull. Dull. Dull. And it's like going over to someone's house and being forced to watch the most boring vacation pictures ever and next thing you know your mind drifts to questions like "Does the razor cut across the wrists or lengthwise?" and "A truly just and wise God would see suicide as the only rational response. Right?".
Then out comes the sponge cake.
Emily Dickinson once wrote: "Hope is the thing with feathers".
She didn't know that eternity is three people in an RV in South Carolina.
Sunday Five Brothers BloggingCallum, Cody, Dakota, Roshawn-el, and Ben
This weeks edition of Five Brothers brings contests and potential fun for the maliciously inclined.
First off, Tagg has a new dog and between him, his wife, and his twelve children they can't seem to come up with a name for the future horribly abused animal and they want your help. Just go to the comments here, and cast your vote. They have narrowed the names down to
Roofrack
Strap-on
Windshits
and
Whoops!-keep-driving-kids-don't-look-back
As always, when voting for anything Romney, DadMitt will pay you, like, $4800 or your vote.
Which will be difficult because the Romney campaign is running out of money which is why they are asking the public to create their ads for them.
Once in a while an opportunity comes along that sounds too good to be true. And often there’s a catch…
This is not one of those times.
We want you to make a new official television advertisement. Yes, we are serious.
Your ad could feature Mitt’s biography, his family, his record as Governor of Massachusetts, or his agenda for a stronger America. In fact, your ad can have practically any theme as long as it supports the campaign creatively and responsibly.
How does it work? We provide the photos, videos and audio clips to get you started. You can add your own multimedia if you’d like. Then just cut, splice and edit until your heart’s content, using easy and free online tools. Everything you’ll need is available at this new site:
The deadline for ad submissions is September 17th, so you can even get the family involved over Labor Day weekend.
After a public vote, the winner’s video will hit the airwaves as an official campaign TV ad in conjunction with the massive Rally for Romney at the end of September.
You’ve seen how the professionals do it. Let’s see what you can do!
This is what is known as the Tom Sawyer Feint where other people do your work for you:
Tom wheeled suddenly and said:
“Why, it’s you, Ben! I warn’t noticing.”
“Say - I’m going in a -swimming, I am. Don’t you wish you could? But of course you’d druther work - wouldn’t you? Course you would!”
Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said:
“What do you call work?”
“Why, ain’t that work?”
Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly:
“Well, maybe it is, and maybe it ain’t. All I know it suits Tom Sawyer.”
“Oh, come now, you don’t mean to let on that you like it?”
The brush continued to move.
“Like it? Well, I don’t see why I oughtn’t to like it. does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?”
That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom swept his brush daintily back and forth - stepped back to note the effect - added a touch here and there - criticized the effect again - Ben watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more absorbed. Presently he said:
“Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little.”
Tom Considered, was about to consent; but he altered his mind:
“No-no-I reckon it wouldn’t hardly do, Ben. You see, Aunt Polly’s awful particular about this fence - right here on the street, you know - but if it was the back fence, I wouldn’t mind, and she wouldn’t. Yes, she’s awful particular about this fence; it’s got to be done very careful; I recon there ain’t one boy in a thousand, maybe two thousand, that can do it the way it’s got to be done.”
“No-is that so? Oh, come now - lemme try. Only just a little - I’d let you, if you was me, Tom.”
“Ben, I’d like to, honest injun; but Aunt Polly - well, Jim wanted to do it, but she wouldn’t let him; Sid wanted to do it, and she wouldn’t let Sid. Now, don’t you see how I’ fixed? If you was to tackle this fence and anything was to happen to it --”
“Oh, shucks, I’ll be just as careful. Now lemme try. Say - I’ll give you the core of my apple.”
“Well, here - No, Ben, no you don’t. I’m afeared --”
“I’ll give you all of it!”
Tom gave up the brush with reluctance in his face, but alacrity in his heart. And while the late steamer Big Missouri worked and sweated in the sun, the retired artist sat on a barrel in the shade close by, dangled his legs munched his apple, and planned the slaughter of more innocents.
Now if I were a character of low moral standing and too much time on my hands I might consider going to the MittRomney/your ad link and downloading some of the generously provided Romney materials (or current shitty entries) and making up my own special brand of Romney commercials and then posting them somewhere on the internets for all to enjoy.
Sunday Five Brothers BloggingA whiter shade of white
This weeks MittTheme is stamina and the fact that the five brothers are self-confessed pussies compared to DadMitt who never sleeps because he has to watch for the skies for the MittSignal in case America needs him to bail out an Olympics or strap the dog to the top of the car for a quick Labor Day road trip or something.
Ben Ginsberg and I just completed a 2-day 9-airport 6-city swing through California. It came on the heels of a 2-day 10-event stop in Houston for me, and I have to be honest with you, I am a little tired. I have no idea how my Dad keeps his schedule - he has more energy than anyone I have known other than his Dad.
I was in Arizona yesterday rolling out the "Rally for Romney" program.
I kept busy all day doing about 10 television, radio and print interviews. It's pretty exhausting, I still have no idea how my dad is able to do it day after day. Here's a shot of me with Tom and Austin from the Liddy and Hill show.
Ben:
I just flew in from Boston and boy are my dad's arms not tired.
Obviously I made up that last one because we all know that Ben is the Reluctant Romney and just wishes his dad would get a real job and quit using him and his brothers as props while wasting their inheritance.
Meanwhile Craig travels to Florida to meet with supporters who are diligently working on campaign signs guaranteed to appeal to the all-important five year-old demographic.
Here I am after making some signs with local supporters
I, for one, applaud the Romney campaign for employing "Special Needs" Young Republicans.
Tuition at Regent University isn't cheap, you know...
As you may remember, DadMitt won the Iowa Straw Poll but nobody took it seriously because he had to give the each of the 4516 people who voted for him a new car just like Oprah would if she were running for President. The end result was a bevy of articles about second place finisher Mike Huckabee and what a great guy he is even though nobody wanted to mention his crazy son who, like the Romney boys, is also not in Iraq but for better reasons.
This week Tom Brady look-alike Craig was at the Illinois State Fair (yes, the Romneys do like their state fairs) where there was ANOTHER STRAW POLL which you probably didn't hear about. And for good reason. We'll let Craig 'splain it:
I spent the day yesterday at the Illinois State Fair where my dad won the Republican Presidential Straw Poll. It was exciting to see the campaign carry some momentum from the Iowa Straw Poll victory into Illinois. We don’t have a lot of paid staff or an extensive field operation in Illinois, but the efforts of the volunteers, particularly Senator Dan Rutherford, helped secure the win. Here I am pictured with Senator Rutherford and Illinois Finance Co-Chairman, Terry Graunke.
By: Kevin McDermott St. Louis Post-Dispatch Friday, Aug 17, 2007
"Not far from the cotton candy vendors, Illinois Republicans spun a small piece of political history at the Illinois State Fair Thursday, with a presidential straw poll that organizers hope could someday provide an Iowa-like influence in early primary campaigning."
...
"Fewer than 1,000 people voted in the event, which handed former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney his second Midwestern poll victory in as many weeks. Primed by beer and a live band, fairgoers lined up at electronic voting screens on a muddy lawn near the fairground's goat barn. Media coverage was mostly local and subdued."
Several points:
The point of the Craig's post was to emphasize that DadMitt can too win a straw poll without buying all of the voters a pork sandwich and a gift card from Stuckey's.
This all-important vote took place over by the goat barn. Yes, the goat barn. This would explain why the voters had to get liquored up to vote.
Craig Romney doesn't know how to create an embedded link.
Then there is the matter of Craig's selective block-quoting from McDermott's article. Here is Craig again:
"Not far from the cotton candy vendors, Illinois Republicans spun a small piece of political history at the Illinois State Fair Thursday, with a presidential straw poll that organizers hope could someday provide an Iowa-like influence in early primary campaigning."
Not far from the cotton candy vendors, Illinois Republicans spun a small piece of political history at the Illinois State Fair Thursday, with a presidential straw poll that organizers hope could someday provide an Iowa-like influence in early primary campaigning.
For now, though, even the event's boosters admit it was all fluff and little substance.
A lot of people have written their stories about the straw poll victory we enjoyed at Ames. Having seen the effort and the triumph from the inside, I thought I'd share a few of my own thoughts and photos.
1. Why do you think that Governor Romney won?
He won for two reasons.
Neither of which involves $5 million.
First, my Dad is the best candidate in the race. But the fact is that as the people in Iowa have gotten to know my Dad, they have liked him and his message.
...and his $5 million.
He has traveled extensively across Iowa (over 200 events total) and answered hundreds of questions in dozens and dozens of townhalls open to the public and the media. And he has risen from about 5% in Iowa to 28% and first place in the polls in only a few months.
By spending $4.9 million more than Mike Huckabee.
2. Without some of the other top tier candidates there, does this qualify as a win?
Yes. As my Dad has said, if the other guys thought they could have won or even done well, they would have been there. Which makes the win all that more extraordinary. Do you know how hard it is to motivate voters to hop on a bus on a Saturday morning and drive several hours each way so they can wait around for hours more in 100 degree sticky heat, all for the privilege of voting for a candidate who has everyone says is a shoe-in to win?
We offered barbeque sandwiches to folks there, which was the least we could do for our supporters who braved temperatures reaching 100 degrees. And do you think that holds a candle to what they could have had a few miles down the road at the state fair? Fried twinkies, fried snicker bars, pork chops on a stick, fried Oreos... Yes, I tried them all and heavenly doesn’t begin to describe them. And you think offering them a bus ride and a pulled pork sandwich is what got them to Ames?
Well let's see...DadMitt paid the $35 voting fee, paid for the bus, and gave them free lunch for the day, and according to reports people voted and then left not even sticking around to watch the finish. Leaving plenty of time to spend the evening clogging their arteries with "heavenly" goods, so I'm gonna have to vote 'yes' on the pulled-pork/Ames question.
This will help with my Dad's name ID. He was the number one blogged about muggle...
What the fu...
the last few days, beaten only by Harry Potter.
Oh. An off-hand cultural reference for the common touch. Subtle. Nice . Proving that the Romney boys are just like any other young man in Ameri-
Mitt Romney has been asked before on the campaign trail if his sons have served in the military, and he usually has dispatched the question easily enough.
But an awkward response last week in Iowa, in which Mr. Romney said in part that “one of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping to get me elected,” forced him several days later to say he misspoke and injected a discordant note into his otherwise triumphant few days after he won the state’s Republican straw poll.
It has also threatened to put a chink in what has been widely viewed as a major asset in his bid for the Republican presidential nomination: his crowded family portrait, which includes five successful adult sons who have been a prominent part of his campaign.
[...]
Some have questioned the fairness of impugning Mr. Romney for his sons’ choices. It is also unclear why Mr. Romney’s children have drawn scrutiny and not those of others, like Rudolph W. Giuliani, who has a son at Duke University.
“Is it a fair question?” said Stewart Peay, the husband of Mr. Romney’s niece, who went to Iraq with the Utah National Guard. “In the world of the all-volunteer army, I don’t know if it is or not.”
But Mr. Peay said that while in Iraq he had wrestled with what difference it might have made if President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney had family members in harm’s way.
“I think it’s unfortunate sometimes that we don’t have a broader group of people in the military,” he said, “but that’s a result of an all-volunteer military.”
[...]
Politicians should try to envision whether they believe in a war enough that they would send their own children, said Nancy Lessin, co-founder of Military Families Speak Out, an antiwar group made up of more than 3,600 military families.
“If this war is so important, why is it O.K. for you to support our loved ones fighting it but not send your own sons?” said Ms. Lessin, whose stepson joined the Marines after college and went to Iraq.
The fact that Mr. Romney’s sons have not served is not necessarily surprising, she said, because the military tends to be dominated by those from less well-to-do backgrounds.
“There is the economic, or the opportunity, draft,” Ms. Lessin said.
[...]
Fair or not, it is likely that the issue will continue to dog Mr. Romney. He got the question again later in the week at the Iowa State Fair, this time from a man holding a photograph of his son in a soldier’s uniform.
“None of your sons are in the military?” the man asked.
Mr. Romney said they were not.
“Are they going to go over to Iraq?” the man asked.
“No, they are not,” Mr. Romney said.
“Who is going to do his job?” the man said.
“We have a volunteer army,” Mr. Romney said. “That’s the reason.”
Now I'm no political consultant, but I'm guessing that making the Five Brothers a centerpiece of a campaign while families in small towns are burying their sons and daughters is like sharing Taggs baby pictures at the funeral.
Sunday Five Brothers BloggingAll your straw vote are belong to us
Finally. All of that hard work (and six million dollars) paid off and 4516 Iowans, with nothing better to do until cow-tipping season begins, showed up for a free bus ride and lunch to select Mitt Romney as the bestest person in the world to win the War On Terror by strapping evildoers to his car roof and driving real fast until they shit themselves. Hey, if he'd do it to his dog, one can only imagine what he would do to an Islamonotlatterdaysaintian.
In honor of the Five Brothers choosing to not serve in Iraq and instead attempting to get their dad elected President and then cashing in on the connections, the Romney campaign wisely elected to dress their volunteers (the Mittiots) in yellow
...so the boys could mingle without being noticed.
I'm a little sad to be nearing the end of my tour of Iowa as I visited the 97th and 98th counties yesterday, although I must admit that I am excited both for the Iowa State Fair and the Ames Straw poll coming up. From what I hear you can get any sort of deep fried treat you'd like at the fair, I'm hoping for a Snickers. The life sized butter cow promises to be another highlight. As for Ames, I can't wait to see family and friends and work hard to get my dad a victory there.
Tagg and I visited Albert, the world's largest bull, in Audubon County.
Proving, once again, that it's not heaven. It's Iowa.
Sunday Five Brothers Blogging - Lightening Up the Campaign Edition
Mark 7, Akil, Chali 2NA, Soup, and Tagg
When we last left the Five Brothers Craig was talkin' Mexican, reluctant AlbinoBen had disappeared, Tagg, (who always seems to be around his dad, smiling and doing that crazy eye thing) was missing, Matt was showing off pictures of his parents dancing (thereby losing the Baptist vote), and Josh's wife was redecorating the MittMobile, making it the VomitVehicle.
This week....
Hey! Where the hell did everyone go?
Well, Matt uses Politico to keep track of how many times Democratic candidates mention his Dad at the debate and how, if it was a drinking game, Matt would be soooooo wasted, but he's not because alcohol is a sin and people who drink, like George W. Bush and Ann Althouse are going to Hell. Or Orem. One of those.
Meanwhile Josh&Jen continue their whirlwind "99 Counties But A Bitch Ain't One" tour of Iowa with stops by a sign, another sign, a county fair (where Josh&Jen bought the kids some fried sugar and then Jen threw up again), and a drugstore where Josh used Grace to break in to get Jen some Pepto.
As for the other boys, well it looks like Mitt had to let them go because they were dragging the campaign down and he needed to lighten up the load.
I had heard that Fred Thompson was going to pick one or two of them up on waivers but he didn't have the money. The good news is that Mike Huckabee is holding auditions for a new campaign son since the old one isn't working out.
'Tagg Huckabee'. I like that. I think he'll work out as long as he doesn't dance because then he would be going to Hell. Or Arkansas. One of those.
