Walk this way...Okay, now this way. Nope. Nothing yet. How about trying on the French Maid costume and hopping up on the trampoline...
Ah women, sly sexy be-boobed creatures sending off subtle signals under the radar:
Love songs may rhapsodise “something in the way she moves”, but a sexy walk is not a sign that a woman is ready to become pregnant. In fact, a new study suggests that the way a woman walks changes during her monthly cycle, and that the most seductive wiggle occurs when she is least fertile.[…]
For the latest study, Dr Provost and her team dressed female volunteers in suits adorned with light markers, as used in Hollywood special effects departments, along the joints and limbs.
This allowed them to film each woman as she walked and then analyse her gait. They also collected saliva samples to find out whether each woman was in the more or less fertile phase of her menstrual cycle.
The women who were ovulating walked with smaller hip movements and with their knees closer together, New Scientist magazine reported. When 40 men were shown the images of the women walking they rated those in the less fertile part of their cycle as having the sexiest walks. […]
That makes evolutionary sense, because it would benefit a woman to advertise her fertility only to those men she believes would make a suitable mate. In contrast, men can pick up on the attractiveness of a woman’s walk from long distance, and it can therefore act as an unwitting signal to less appealing males whom she might not want to choose.
What I love is that there’s two immovable assumptions: 1) Everything a woman does, including her taxes, has something to do with advertising her sexual status to men, and 2) Women’s desire to have sex is explicable only as a reproducing (and child support sucking) strategy. That we have a wide body of evidence showing that women have sex for pleasure and bonding related reasons doesn’t seem to register. No, it’s all about either deceiving or sperm-sucking. The solid statistical evidence that the vast majority of sexually active straight women use contraception at some point (98%, in fact) seems to me to be a fact that might indicate that the pregnant-or-sneaky theory of female sexuality might be a tad limited in predictive power.
Thank goodness that evolution has continued apace and men no longer have to be on the lookout for clues.
Anything short of the above and we're kinda stupid about the whole thing.