Suddenly nobody is talking about John Kerry anymore... 400 pounds of dumbass
The California election scene was fairly boring this cycle with uninspiring candidates abounding. It's hard to believe that a state full of the most image conscious people in the country could have so many dull unappealing politicians. Maybe it's because all of the witty, intelligent, good-looking people are too busy in Hollywood...or blogging. One of those.
And so we turn our lonely eyes to the rest of the country that, truth be told, we would just as soon fly over if you don't mind, thank you very much...
Obviously I am thrilled that America's Stupidest Congressman* JD Hayworth is going to have to go back to broadcasting high school football games since we already have a National Mexican Hater in place. Maybe he can work in the minors; standing on sidewalks and screaming at Taco Bells. Also in Arizona, gubernatorial not-even-close Len Munsil isn't going to be needing any new business cards and should now have lots more time to "do it" with his wife, more proof that you should never let your career aspirations get in the way of your hobby.
I'm very surprised that Jim Ryun (Kansas-02) was kicked to the curb (regardless of his shady real estate deal), but not so surprised that all the women-beaters (Fine - MN , Sherwood - PA, Sweeney - NY) found out that Smack My Bitch Up doesn't work well as a campaign slogan. I don't know what the hell John Hostettler (IN-08) did to only receive 39 % of the vote, but it had to be along the lines of grunting while strangling puppies during the debates and then throwing their limp floppy bodies at his opponent. What works for Dick Cheney doesn't necessarily play in Peoria.
Musgrave (CO-04) looks like she's going to survive and will have a kindred Godsmacked spirit in Michele Bachman (MN-06) to caucus with (in tongues, we assume), so we can expect lots of faith-based gay hatin' from the fringes this Congress. Also in Minnesota, Keith Ellison (MN-05) won and here's hoping that he calls John Hinderaker every morning at about 3AM and shouts "Allah Akbar" and then starts giggling like a madman. Good fun...
As I mentioned earlier today, a few Congressmen under clouds survived (Lewis CA-41, Renzi AZ-01), but I wouldn't be writing anyone's name down in ink on your Congressional scorecard just yet. And we still haven't seen the end of the Foley scandal, particularly with the Democrats holding the big stick.
And this just in...McCaskill wins in MO. Now Rush Limbaugh has the shakes...
Jesus. What a slaughter. Bush to attempt to put a positive spin on it tomorrow. That's it for now. Gotta make plans to start harvesting stem cells from Mary Katherine Ham's future babies so I can clone me some Muslims...
*The Stupidest Congressman tiara and sash are now passed to Lynn Westmoreland of Georgia-3
May he not strangle himself trying to put them on...
