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Friday, May 26, 2006
I lost it at the movies
Neely O'Hara: That's a switch from the fags you're usually stuck with!
Helen Lawson: At least I never had to MARRY one!
Neely O'Hara: YOU TAKE THAT BACK...
[pulls off Helen's wig while scuffling]
Neely O'Hara: ... oh my God, it's a wig! HER HAIR'S AS PHONY AS SHE IS!
Helen Lawson: Get your hands off of me... GIMMIE BACK MY HAIR!
It looks like Hollywood anti-power couple Jason Apuzzo and Govindini Murtry are on hiatus and so we are left with the mysterious Dirty Harry, a "writer-director" at Libertas, to explain to us everything that is wrong with Hollywood that the good folks the Liberty Film Festival are unable to correct because nobody at the big studios will return their calls offering advice. Small wonder.
Here's Harry pitching a blockbuster:What I want are to see are mainstream films that find insidious conspiracies in the environmental movement. I want to see films that treat the United Nations like the Nixon White House. I want to see films where the World Court is shown to be feckless and dangerous; where Castro’s Cuba is portrayed as soul-crushing; the ACLU as fanatics out to remake America in their own depraved image; Hillary as a megalomaniac; Richard Clarke as an opportunistic glory hound; The New York Times as agenda-driven liars.
I want PETA treated like the oil companies. I want Amnesty International treated like the CIA. I want terrorists treated like Bush. And I want conservatives treated like liberals. Where’s the movie of the self-made man who dropped out of college, struggled till he was forty to reach the peak of his profession, was almost destroyed by a handicap and an overzealous prosecutor, but prevailed? Where’s the Rush Limbaugh story? It would be sort of like Horatio Alger meets Valley of The Dolls...
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