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Monday, June 27, 2005
I am become Hannity, destroyer of worlds...
We've always known that Sean Hannity can take any topic and suck the life and any hope of rational discourse out of it by exposing it to the black hole of his endless stupidity. He is salt on the snail of intellectualism, to coin a phrase that will never ever be used again for obvious reasons. What kind of devastation can he wreak? I'm glad you asked.
Take Debbie Schlussel, right-wing commentator and repository of our National Lip Collagen Reserves:
Attorney, Columnist, and Hip, Conservative Info-Babe Commentator, Debbie Schlussel is the VRWC's latest and greatest sexy, blonde, and beautiful commentator. With a law degree, MBA, long blonde tresses, and sports acumen to boot, she's a red-blooded American guy's dream. If you are into Debbie Schlussel's appearances on FOX News Channel, ESPN, FOX Sports Radio, CNN, ABC's "Politically Incorrect," and Howard Stern, and her Townhall.com and PoliticalUSA.com "Debbie Does Politics" columns, then this is the place for you--her unofficial fan club. If you've heard Rush Limbaugh or Howard Stern talk about her on their national radio shows or seen her speak at the NRA convention, Debbie is proof positive that "Dumb Blonde" is an oxymoron--her beauty and brains are a lethal combination, the reason Ms. Magazine declared Debbie its #1 enemy. To paraphrase "Wayne's World's" Wayne and Garth, if she were President, Debbie Schlussel would be Babe-raham Lincoln.
Fair enough. Outside of her blackened soul she passes a reasonable hottitude level even when we factor in a certain amount of air-brushing. But then came that fateful day when she looked into the howling void that is Sean.
The horror...the horror.
I report. You avert your eyes.
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