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  • Wednesday, May 04, 2005

     

    Witnessing the act, God was heard to mutter, "This is so wrong on so many levels".

    Because John Bolton's confirmation hearings are delayed, confirmbolton.com has received a stay of execution, so that we can delight in the what passes for reasons to confirm President Equine Reacharound's favorite UN-shaker-upper. Most of the reasons fall into the "we're gonna pretend it's not about policy even though Bolton hates the UN like Bush hates reality" territory.

    Now I don't know about you, but I was very pleased to see that America's Favorite Garden Gnome™, Gary Bauer is posting over there and darned if I haven't always wondered about those wild and unsubstantiated rumors of sexual infidelity involving him, sex machine that he is:

    Nine members of Bauer's staff have quit in the last month, including Charles Jarvis, Bauer's campaign manager, and Tim McDonald, former chief of advance operations. Jarvis and McDonald have said publicly that they resigned in protest of Gary Bauer's "inappropriate" behavior in travelling alone and spending time behind closed doors with a 26-year-old deputy campaign manager.

    Jarvis says that he and others in the campaign warned Bauer several times "in the clearest possible terms" that he was creating "the appearance of impropriety" by spending "hours and hours and hours behind closed doors with a young single woman." Neither Jarvis nor McDonald has directly claimed that sex occurred, though.

    An unnamed source in the Bauer campaign said that Bauer has been traveling alone with this hot 26-year old blond (deputy campaign manager Melissa McClard) on a daily basis and the two have been so inseparable that it was like a "husband-wife relationship." This source said that rumors of an affair have circulated inside the campaign for months, and that several people told the candidate of their concern. "Bauer told them basically to buzz off -- that it was his personal business," the source said. Other staff members who quit include media consultant Tom Edwards and Betty Barrett, who was Bauer's secretary for 15 years. They declined comment.


    When thinking about Bauer and some hot blond with a few drinks in her...alone in a room...just the two of them, we were reminded of this passage from Kiss Me, Deadly:

    I reached out for her, took her face in my hands and tilted it up. Her eyes were warm and misty and her mouth a hungry animal that wanted to bite or be bitten, a questioning thing waiting to be tasted and I wanted to tell her she never had to be scared again. Not ever.

    ...except for the part about tilting her face "up".

    Unless there was a footstool involved...


     

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