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Sunday, January 09, 2005
Sex & Drugs & Macro-economics
According to the Motel Messiah™, Doug Giles, we learn that the schools of Red State Florida are, like, totally dens of iniquity:
I was sitting at our neighborhood pool New Year’s morning, enjoying the great South Florida weather while trying to grind out a couple of chapters for my new book, when three high school girls took the chaise lounges next to me and started talking about their New Year’s Eve party with their high school mates.
Seemingly still semi-drunk from the party, the 16- and 17-year-old girls began to recount how much coke, weed, vodka, guys and girls they did the night before. Listening to the F-bomb riddled report of the previous night’s peccadilloes left me thinking, how sad … and … what a waste … and … thank God my wife and I yanked our kids out of the public school system and away from these visionless, dissolute and spoiled morons.
Doug doesn't tell us how long he had to stay in the pool until Lil' Jesus quit tent-poling his Speedo after listening to the kind of thing that he usually pays 98 cents-a-minute for, but were guessing Doug was pretty darn pruney by the end of the day.
Then we learn some things that we didn't know about Florida's schools (also please note Doug's weekly reference to a band that he thinks, by mentioning, will give him street cred):
It’s been eleven months since we pulled our teenage daughters out of the public school system and started to home school them, and I could kick myself for waiting so long. The educational, emotional, spiritual and physical progress they have made has been amazing. Not that they were anti-intellectual psychologically teetering bloated decadent nut jobs before they started home schooling, it’s just that I’ve been ecstatically stunned at how they have aggressively embraced this new lease on their educational life.
[...]
Also, it seems that our alpha females really do not miss …
· Having everything they hold dear from a Christian standpoint trashed like a hotel room with Sum41 in it, by secular and atheistic teachers and students,
· Enduring the daily physical assaults and threats made by the multitudinous scum bag thugs and punk gang bangers on campus,
· Watching the constant drug trafficking, and
· Trying to ignore the lesbian, queer and over-the-top heterosexual make-out sessions during their lunch break.
Wow. When did Jeb Bush hire Neil Bush as Superintendent of Schools?
So how are the Giles girls doing?
Instead of being the goofy-looking home-schooled inbred stooges portrayed by TV and movies, my ladies are sharp, solid and full of holy chutzpah. Yeah … they’re clipping along at a nice pace, taking classes like macro-economics, logic, Latin, intelligence and national security, and afterward, pursuing the martial art of jiu-jitsu from the world-famous Gracie family, surfing and occasionally going with me big game hunting and fishing. Getting away from the prison-like public school system has caused their spirit and vision to soar even higher as they have resolutely separated from the pack and decided to run their own lives, rather than schlep with the lemmings.
And a lovely pair they are once you get past the whole lesbian vibe.
And, in defense, of homeschoolers, not all of them are "goofy-looking... inbred stooges". Just this one. Okay, and maybe this one..
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