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Saturday, December 11, 2004
Manly Tips from Motel Messiah
Doug Giles, who offers the words of the Lord in the Royal Palm Ballroom at the Residence Inn, Aventura Florida Sundays at 10:30, has some advice for being a manly man and not the kind of pussy who goes to college to get a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree.
I hate to get your panties in a wad, you pomosexual gender-line-blurrers , you, but the vast, vast majority of American men want to be more like William Wallace and less like Will and Grace.
From the thousands of positive emails I receive week after week from men and women regarding my polemic attempts in print, radio and TV to re-inject, guard and perpetuate the testosterone attitude … it seems that the general populace isn’t queuing up for a radical dose of 21st century misandry.
As you can see from the highlighted words, someone got a gift certificate to the Dictionary Store and blew the whole thing in one trip to the mall (after a quick stop for Dippin' Dots, of course). But, back to Doug:
Last week’s column addressed the good and natural competitive streak with which men come out of momma’s womb, and now I’ll turn my guns to points two and three: Independence and Responsibility.
The second classic characteristic men will naturally exhibit, that is, if they escape the aggressive societal softening of the metrosexual emasculators, is … independence.
Traditionally, men have prized their autonomy more than Clay Aiken does his gale-force-wind-proof hair gel and his chartreuse neckerchief....
Let's pause again here to visualize a certain Clashpoint minister modeling a lovely cranberry open-collared shirt, a bit of the hair mousse, and his most sincere "This is a gay bar? Damn, I better get out of here...but first I have to finish my Mai Tai" look.
I'm sorry. I'm being rude, back to Doug:
But come on, America … somehow we have developed today a race of Nancy-boys, absolute caricatures of the classic male imago, who have extended their mommy’s breast feeding, culture’s coddling and government’s hand holding into their 30’s and beyond!
At the hub of man’s constituent make up is the natural and spiritual resistance to hanging on to any mortal or institution too long for subsistence. By natural command, man is to be independent and is hard wired to go and get a life apart from the nurturing and supportive arms of anyone … and that includes the government.
...and Jesus. Oh wait, maybe not Him, even though He provides a phoney-baloney job preaching to the mooks in the ballroom between restocking the mini-bars and putting out the muffins for the seniors brunch.
Whoops. Sorry. Doug is still talking:
Traditionally, young men fled from getting in touch with their supposed “feminine side” and instead they tapped into the gritty and grubby competitive “real world” where you thrive or die. (By the way … if I want to get in touch with my feminine side … I’ll grab my wife.)
Once the restraining order lapses.
Unfortunately, in the home, in the church, and with our government … thanks to the societal deconstructionists, we have created an extended womb with an umbilical cord of enormous proportions that can sucker and baby men all the way up until their mid-life crises. Historically, this co-dependent wet womb which is presently afforded chronologically mature males past adolescence has utterly weakened whatever society in which it has been allowed to fester.
You see, this is what happens when poor writing skills and bad imagery have a baby and they name it Clashpoint. Speaking of which:
My ClashPoint is this: if concerned conservatives want to improve our nation, then we have got to resist the current culture of man hatred, wherever and whenever we find it, whether that means not going to movies with an emasculating message, or shouting “that’s bull**t” when we hear and see this stuff on TV or in the classroom, or, more positively, developing old school ways of creating environments conducive to raising warriors and wild men. Whatever peaceful form this resistance takes … it is a must that we verbally wail our disapproval of this incessant dissing of men.
One great way to do this is by buying these killer books:
· Future Men by Douglas Wilson
· The Church Impotent by Leon Podles
· Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis
· The Code of Man by Waller Newell
Now maybe it's just me, but shouldn't "warriors and wild men" be unafraid of spelling out "bullshit"? And is there some other way to wail (which seems kinda womanly when you think about it) other than verbally? And doesn't Doug know that, outside of thirteen year-old girls, nobody uses "dissing" anymore.
My TBoggpoint is this: Doug's cure for stopping the emasculation of men comes down to:
A) Stop going to the movies
B) Talking back to the TV
C) Reading books.
What a f**king wild man....