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  • Tuesday, March 02, 2004

     

    The slippery slope...of her firm untrammeled and supple breasts...

    Well aren't we all just going to hell in a handbasket? First the Supreme Court allowed sodomy, then Janet Jackson bared a boob, then came the gay marriages, now it's time to free the Mammary Two!:

    There's a topless protest being planned this weekend in Daytona Beach, at the end of Bike Week.

    Liz Book of Ormond Beach is among the organizers. She hopes to lead a thousand "top-free" women and men along a half-mile of Main Street from the pier to the bridge. The goal is to add Daytona Beach to the small but growing list of places that allow women to show their breasts openly, just like men.

    Even if only two people join her protest, she plans to still go through with it. City officials and police are mostly taking a wait-and-see approach, in part because the city's ordinance allows nudity when it is clothed in political protest.

    Book's husband, Robert Van Winkle, bailed her out in 1998 when she was arrested for baring her breasts inside the Full Moon Saloon. A group of women in Brevard County, known as the "Topfree Ten" have filed a federal lawsuit seeking the right to go shirtless in non-sexual contexts wherever men do, during such outside activities as beachgoing or gardening.


    All concerned and right-thinking Christian citizens are now preparing to bunker down in their local cinemas and watch S&M TheoPorn from the Book of Mel until the Rapture comes...or they run out of Milk Duds, whichever comes first.

    Oh, the humanity...the sorrow...the...hey!... are those real?

    (Don't forget to vote. It's what makes us the Greatest Country on Earth. USA! USA!)


     

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