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Wednesday, March 03, 2004
After his talk with "Janie", Ben sat at the table for ten more minutes until he resumed his normal flaccid state
There is nothing more fun than reading Ben Shapiro (The Virgin Ben™) who, in the great restaurant of sex, enjoys nothing more than reading the menu, and then critiquing the food, without ever having taken a bite. Today he talks dirty with his friend Janie, who is obviously some kind of whore, about her sexual experiences:
But perhaps not every young person having sex is damaged. My friend Janie (name changed to protect her privacy) could be considered a poster child for the sexual dream. Janie, a self-described "typical college student," attends UCLA. She's intelligent, creative and pretty. She's a political and social left-leaning moderate. Janie became sexually active at age 15 (she's now 21) and has slept with five men. She has never become pregnant and has never contracted an STD.
Janie decides to have sex "if I've been dating a guy for a while and we say we love each other." When asked if she would sleep with someone she didn't love, Janie replies "Never, ever ... I was dating a guy for a while, and I really liked him, I even thought I loved him. We dated each other exclusively, but because he wouldn't say he loved me, I wouldn't have sex, and I broke up with him," she explains. What is it about those magic words "I love you"? What if the guy is lying? "I can tell if he means it," Janie says. "I've had guys say they loved me before, but I know they don't mean it. It's intuition."
Her intuition has led her to bed with five different men, but Janie is quick to explain that she doesn't get around: "You have to understand that just because I was having sex when I was 15 doesn't mean I was promiscuous. I've been having sex since I was 15, right? And I'm 21 now, so that's six years, and yet I've only had five partners. You know, that's pretty good compared to other people who started having sex when they were 15."
Little does "Janie" know that Ben normally pays $2.99 a minute for this kind of talk.
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