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Wednesday, January 21, 2004
All the best pundits have Oxycontin eyes...
When we last left I Don't Like The Drugs But The Drugs Like Me Theatre, a suddenly-sober Rush Limbaugh had discovered that the ACLU wasn't picky about who they're seen with in public, his fans didn't know about his other "medication" needs, and that while he was drying out at Rancho Stoned & Dethroned, Howard Dean had somehow become the Democratic frontrunner. Although he only has misty watercolored memories from that nothing-he-can-hang-himself-with-in-his-room period, Rush is taking the blame for Dean because he's a big guy and big guys step up to the plate when something needs to done, unless, of course the big guy has a cyst in an embarassing place, and then they just sit (gingerly) in a warm bath and eat Ding Dongs and think about how cool it would be if they had found that genie bottle from I Dream Of Jeanie and Barbara Eden were to suddenly appear in the bathroom and then she...well, you probably don't want to hear the rest because, even if it did happen in a tub, it's still pretty darn icky.
Anyway, here's what Rush had to say yesterday, right before his Snapple colonic:
“Here's the theory: the mainstream media never took Dean seriously, but I was making such a big to-do about him that the mainstream press finally started paying attention and had to take him out.”
“Everyone is blaming me for Dean's loss. If I just kept quiet about Howard Dean the mainstream media wouldn't have gotten onto him. If I had just shut up and been promoting Kerry or any of these other guys, we'd be sitting tight today.”
Wait a minute. Isn't "sitting tight" some of that street slang used by tweakers?
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