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Tuesday, August 19, 2003
It's axiomatic, yo.
George Will is never an easy read. Apparently when he sold his small blackened vestigial soul to Beelzebub for a gig as a professional pundit and debate coach, he threw his ability to get to the point into the deal. So it was with great relief that reader Chris provided me with a simple internet tool that allows me (and now you) to read Will and actually be entertained. First we take Will's latest which reads like this:
This anniversary reminds us that America is not new to the business of regime change. Fifty years ago U.S. and British intelligence services -- the principal U.S. operative was Kermit Roosevelt, Teddy's grandson -- had a remarkably easy time overthrowing Iran's government.
It took just two months and $200,000, mobs being cheap to rent back then. It was so easy that, according to the late CIA Director Richard Helms in his just-published memoir, ``A Look Over My Shoulder,'' Roosevelt felt the need to sound a warning that Secretary of State John Foster Dulles did not want to hear.
Roosevelt said the coup succeeded because the CIA had accurately concluded that the Iranians, including most of the military, ``wanted exactly'' the result we were seeking. ``If we,'' said Roosevelt, referring to the CIA, ``are ever going to try something like this again, we must be absolutely sure that (the) people and army want what we want. If not, you had better give the job to the Marines!''
The shah's ``at least temporary control of the country'' lasted just a bit more than half of these 50 years. The fact that his control crumbled in 1979 under the assault of Islamic fundamentalists responsive to the Ayatollah Khomeini does not mean the coup was misguided or unavailing.
...and then we run it through Snoop Dog's Shizzolater to get this:
This anniversary reminds us that America is not new da business of regime change, know what I'm sayin'? Fifty years ago U.S. 'n British intelligence services -- da principal U.S. operative wuz Kermit Roosevelt, Teddy's grandson -- had a remarkably easy time overthrowing Iran's government."
It took just two months 'n $200,000, mobs being cheap rent back then n' shit. It wuz so easy that, according da late CIA Director Richard Helms in tha dude's just-published memoir, ``A Look Over My Shoulder,'' Roosevelt felt da need sound a warning that Secretary of State John Foster Dulles did not want hear."
Roosevelt be like da coup succeeded because da CIA had accurately concluded that da Iranians, including most of da military, ``wanted exactly'' da result we wuz seeking, know what I'm sayin'? ``If we,'' be like Roosevelt, referring da CIA, ``are ever going try something like this again, we gots be absolutely sho that (da) muthas 'n army want what we want n' shit. If not, yo' ass had better give da job da Marines!''
The shah's ``at least temporary control of da country'' lasted just a bit mo' than half of these 50 years n' shit. The fact that tha dude's control crumbled in 1979 under da assault of Islamic fundamentalists responsive da Ayatollah Khomeini does not mean da coup wuz misguided or unavailing."
See? Bet you didn't know Will be havin' da mad skillz, know what I'm sayin'?
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