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Friday, March 07, 2003
I have my reservations...
Although I would like to throw my full support behind Jim Cappozola's Quixotic run against Arlen Specter, I do have a few questions:
Is his brow furrowed? Furrowed brows connote deep thought that may be incompatible in a Senate chamber filled with smooth brows unruffled by complexities and gray areas.
His hair. Does he have a full thick shock of hair that requires expensive upkeep? Should the good people of Pennsylvania suffer runway shutdowns at Philadelphia International Airport because he needs a crème rinse and possibly some highlights?
Although his name indicates that he is Italian, he has mentioned that he contains some Irish blood. What happens if some of this Irish blood is tainted by Jewish blood? What is he hiding and is this indicative of the way that he changes ethnicity to suit the latest restaurant he visits? Is he Thai today but Cracker Barrel Down Home Cooking tomorrow?
I remember that Jim wears predominately black clothes. Black can be an earth-tone. What does this say about him?
I personally know that Jim has never ever seen a James Bond film. Not one. What happens if he draws duty on the Senate Intelligence Committee? Will America's Silent Warriors be denied exploding watches, pens that shoot nerve gas, and exciting opening chase scenes, simply because he hasn't done his homework? What of femme fatales like Pussy Galore or Lotta Cleavage? Who will keep them in catsuits? I also think the risk of unchecked super villain masterminds in their secret island lairs is just too great a risk to take.
And lastly...Mildred's pet cause is autoerotic poo eating and that one is already taken by Lynne Cheney.
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