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Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Ben Shapiro...Cub Reporter
Heeding Peggy Noonan's dictum:
"Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to."
The Virgin Ben discovers French perfidy (after looking up 'perfidy", of course).
The other day, I received a letter from a U.S. Air Force officer stationed on a base in Saudi Arabia. He wrote that coalition commanders expelled French soldiers from his base late last week. The French had apparently been caught hacking into the U.S. secret computer system. Their rooms had been evacuated, and British and American troops were allowed to move their own belongings into the plush surroundings the French had previously enjoyed. The officer reported that the information was 60-70 percent reliable, as a couple of semi-reliable sources had corroborated the story.
This story has been kept under tight wrap by the governments involved -- perhaps because the information is false.
60-70 percent reliable?....semi-reliable sources?....information might be false?
In the journalistic food chain, that puts Ben slightly below Bill Safire but miles above Fox News when it comes to "facts". Here are some more gems:
French President Jacques Chirac pledged to oppose any U.S.-led effort to gain an "after-the-fact" U.N. resolution condoning our campaign to disarm Iraq. In a letter to fellow peacenik Pope John Paul II,
Pope John Paul II...peacenik? Sure there's the incense and the sandals and he has seemed kind of down since Phish stopped touring, but, come on....
And just to prove that Ben is majoring in PoliSci at UCLA and not math:
France currently has 5 million Muslims, totaling somewhere between 5 percent and 10 percent of its population.
...although I imagine that even a PoliSci professor might have requested that he "show work" were he to submit that phrase and those numbers in a paper. But then UCLA has slightly different standards than Townhall.com.
And it was inevitable that a turgid Ben, stewing in his own unrealeased bodily fluids, would finally lurch into full-fledged Steven Den Beste paranoia:
The French government has nuclear weapons. What will happen if an extremist Muslim government rises to power in France, with control of full-fledged nuclear weapons? This is a problem that cannot be solved in the short term, with people like Jacques Chirac in charge of foreign policy. But over the long term, France must be given some sort of economic incentive or disincentive to disarm, before it is too late. If France is willing to spy on United States forces in the Persian Gulf now, can we expect any better if the electoral majority in France is militantly Islamist?
Most kids set up lemonade stands...Ben got a column. Lucky him...lucky us.
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