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  • Thursday, December 16, 2004

     

    Everyone is a slut except me

    Whenever The Virgin Ben attempts a foray into matters regarding the fair sex, particularly when they have actually had sex, well, it's thin-ice time. Victim or not, Ben digs into his Big Bag O'Antiquated Sexual Slurs to describe the young woman who claimed she was assaulted by Kobe Bryant. As in:

    But the irony of Kobe Bryant playing the jealous lover after throwing over his wife, Vanessa, for some Colorado floozy hotel girl provides hilarity all its own.

    [...]

    Even if he didn't rape his Colorado hotel floozy, Bryant committed adultery.

    [...]

    But when Kobe's Colorado vamp rape accuser complains that she didn't consent to Kobe's advances, the feminists rush forward to protect her.


    "Floozy hotel girl", "hotel floozy", and "Colorado vamp". Why is she all of these (and more!) to the worldly Ben whose last contact with a real live vagina was with his mothers? Because there was evidence that she had had sex with another man previous to her run-in with Kobe, therefore she is also a trollop, a harlot, a strumpet, a roundheel, a pink pants, and a courtesan.

    Of course the first woman to have sex with Ben will be a dewy virginal flower who will bestow the gift of her virtue upon Ben. Unfortunately for her, after forty-seven seconds of frenzied Shapiro-schtupping, she'll just be another common whore.

    It's hard being a girl...


     

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