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  • Friday, August 20, 2004


    Career as an idiot assured

    Well it was a meeting of the minds (loosely speaking) on Rush today when the drug-addled, tripled divorced, didn't-go-to-Vietnam-because-of-a-pimple-on-his-fat-ass Rush Limbaugh had Michelle "If I wanted to be publicly humiliated I would have signed on for a bukkake video instead of going on Hardball" Malkin on:

    First, a horny and lonely Rush tries buttering her up by lying:

    We'd like to welcome to the program Michelle Malkin, the well known, famous and powerful and influential writer and author.

    Yes. She also quite blond, omnipotent, and immortal.

    Then Michelle is pissed she didn't get to plug her book "In Praise of Racism":

    MALKIN: Well, they said that they wanted me to come and talk about two topics: the swift boat veterans and my book and the reason why I was there in the first place is that I, you know, was able to go on a competing network -- I am a Fox News contributor -- during my book tour. So they knew that I was there to talk about the book, and in fact Matthews had chitchatted with me a little bit before the second segment began about Japanese-Americans.

    RUSH: Now, did you get thrown off the show --

    MALKIN: Yes.

    RUSH: -- before your segment ended or before it was scheduled to end?

    MALKIN: Yes. They had told me from the start and then right as -- before I sat down that it would be for two segments and that the second segment would talk about my book and I was summarily dismissed at the end of that first segment.

    RUSH: How did he do that? What did he say to you?

    MALKIN: He just said, "You're off," and so somebody escorted me off, and this is interesting, because I mention it on my blog. As soon as I left the room he dispatched one of his staffers to go and try to find the book Unfit for Command, and of course they went to an office where I had left my copy and snatched my copy up -- copy of it and were desperately flipping through it to see if what he said was true.

    RUSH: Now we're jumping the gun a little bit. But the first thing that strikes me about this is they don't have at MSNBC their own copy of this book.

    MALKIN: Yes.

    RUSH: They had to go get your copy.

    MALKIN: Yes. They didn't ask you for it? They just took it?

    MALKIN: They just took it. It was quite flabbergasting but I guess this is how they operate.

    Yeah. They invite guests on to steal their books...and they also go through their purses in the Green Room looking for cigarettes, condoms, and Mentos.

    Rush becomes aroused:

    MALKIN: Right. Bingo. I had specifically referred to "self-inflicted wounds" and I was trying to give him the context and it to talk about the incidents that are described in the book very explicitly about how those shrapnel wounds were apparently sustained by Kerry. He wouldn't let me finish. He kept trying to stuff his warped interpretation down my throat and I tried as hard as possible not to let him do that and --

    "stuff his warped interpretation down my throat "

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    Michelle demonstrates her devasting and cutting wit:

    MALKIN: They really got to change the name of the show to "Slimeball" or "Spitball" because that's what they threw at me.

    Ooooo. Snap!... if you're in middle school.

    Then Rush makes a salient point:

    RUSH: Why did Olbermann call you an idiot? Nobody watches that show, either, so...

    MALKIN: No, nobody does, but apparently he was just so carried away and --

    RUSH: It was because your appearance on Matthews' show earlier he called you...?

    MALKIN: Yeah.

    RUSH: So you had a carry-over effect.

    MALKIN: I guess so. (Laughing.)

    RUSH: Michelle, you should be proud. Careers are made over this thing.

    Yes. We prize our idiots. Sometimes we even let them be President.

    Back to Rush:

    RUSH: Say, Michelle, are you aware of a statement that Matthews posted on the MSNBC website last night about your appearance?

    MALKIN: On his blog, yes. He basically cast himself as the truth teller and repeated his claims of wanting to keep irresponsible comments off of his show.

    RUSH: Here's what I have here. He said, "One of my jobs on Hardball is to cut to the truth, cut through to the truth of the tonight on Hardball one of our guests pushed the idea that John Kerry had won his Purple Heart by deliberately shooting himself." (Laughing.) Nobody's ever said that, nor did you! (Laughing.) You weren't given a chance to explain it. "The charge is without merit and baseless as our guest under close questioning herself admitted. We'll keep covering these issues..." (Crumbling up paper.) You know what's happening? These people are cracking up, Michelle. They cannot deal with the truth. They don't want to defend the charges because they can't, so they have to discredit those who carry those charges forward, and you were in that position last night.

    MALKIN: Indeed, they are really in full desperation mode, and it really was a wake-up call to me to see firsthand how absolutely batty they have been driven by alternative media sources, including you and talk radio, the blogsphere, Fox News. They can't --

    RUSH: Yeah, their monopoly is gone --

    MALKIN: Yeah.

    RUSH: -- and they're never going to get it back and they don't know how to operate when they don't have a monopoly.

    MALKIN: They can't deal with it.

    Yeah. So they ran off to Washington Journal, and Unfiltered and Rush Limbaugh's show to whine about it. And they also immediately wrote a Dear Diary about their horrible experience and listed Malkin's phone number so they could call her up later and murmur vague obscenities.

    Oh wait. That's Michelle doing that...

    Bonus: Michelle is going to appearing at Berkeley:

    RUSH: So you're going to Berkeley. That's your first stop?

    MALKIN: (Laughs.) Uhhh, yes.

    RUSH: Now what's the date of that?

    MALKIN: I believe it's September 5.

    RUSH: September 5?

    MALKIN: Yes.

    RUSH: Wow, that's like around Labor Day.

    You know what's really good on Labor Day?


    Yeah. I like pie on Labor Day.


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