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Tuesday, December 09, 2003
College kids....can't live with them, can't draft their asses and send them off to war.
Over the past year we've taken a look at many amusing and quaint college kids who, when released from the bosoms of their overprotective parents, proceed to create online journals that tell the world: I'm here and I have all the answers..except about life and sex and how to get a decent haircut. There's UCLA's Virgin Ben, Penn State's Amber Pawlik, Harvard's Adam Yoshida (I know...Harvard...hard to believe, isn't it?), and lets not forget an old favorite, Cornell's Joe Sabia who seems to have forgotten the Michael Bolton Rule which states: No matter how long you let it grow out, you're still going bald on top and nobody is fooled.
Anyway, Joe, who is seen here exhibiting amazing balance and motor skills, seems to be quite the ladies man if, by "ladies man", you mean someone who knows what's best for them even though they won't let him touch their boobies:
Deep down, every sane college girl wants to find a loyal, loving, moral guy who will provide for her and keep her safe. She does not want a “friends with benefits arrangement.” She does not want casual sex with a random drunk frat guy. She does not want lesbian experimentation. She wants a lifelong commitment, a church wedding, a loving family, and a white picket fence. She does not want to be her man’s equal, she wants him to put her up on a pedestal.
Thanks in part to feminists foisting their heinous ideology on young women, college girls have chosen a sexual path that has led to physical and emotional chaos. College girls are engaging in rampant recreational sex with multiple partners, hoping to find a guy who will not bolt five seconds after orgasm (keep waiting, girls). As Mansfield noted, “it’s a men’s game they’re playing.”
[snip]
But if college girls want to act like sluts, they should expect men to treat them as such. The rest of us should not be forced to listen to them whine about how unhappy they are. It should not take a psychologist to understand that if certain life choices are continuously making you unhappy, you should stop doing what you’ve been doing and try something healthier. For instance, if you continuously stick your head under a pile of manure, you will probably find it to be a rather unpleasant experience. But rather than whine about how miserable and smelly you are, you might want to stop sticking your head under there!
The sexual incentives for men are clear. Why would a college guy possibly respect a girl who was willing to throw her bra and panties over the headboard on the first night? Why would he treat her like a queen when he has achieved his ultimate goal (SCORE!) mere hours after engaging her in tedious small talk at the local pub?
Why do I get the feeling that Joe has spent many a Saturday night "dating" a well-used copy of Treason after leaving many Ithaca nightspots with phone numbers that all start 555-...? And why don't women like him? After all, he's very self-confident:
My editors offered four chief reasons for their decision not to run “Cornell’s Leftist Sacred Cow”:
(1) The article is poorly constructed and incoherent.
This, of course, is the standard, “You’ve failed as a writer” argument. For example, Jonah Goldberg offered this rationale for dropping Ann Coulter’s column from National Review. Few people bought Mr. Goldberg’s explanation and I’m not buying the Sun’s. You can say a lot of things about my column on Ted Lowi. You can say that it was gutsy and insightful or petty and nasty. But, by any objective standard, it is intellectually dishonest to argue that the piece was poorly constructed.
He's worldly:
Gay men know that the culture of one-night stands has had horrific consequences for the “good” guys out there. While there is much discussion of high suicide rates among young gay men, the chief cause of this depression is often overlooked. “Homophobia” is often blamed for depression among young gay men, but this explanation is overblown and used to achieve political ends (i.e. gay marriage, diversity training, etc.). But one of the main reasons for depression is the leftist gay sub-culture itself, which is characterized by an endless pursuit of sex, self-gratification, and freedom from responsibility. Such a lifestyle is not conducive to true fulfillment.
and your mom will like him:
Instead, many moms want to be their daughters’ friends, talking late at night about boyfriends, parties, who’s hot, etc. Young women do not need more friends, they need mothers who will provide moral guidance. Unfortunately, these self-absorbed moms cannot deal with the fact that they are old and will never again see their early 20s. Thus, they attempt to live their sorority days all over again through their slutty daughters.
In fact the only problem I can see with him, as seen in this picture and this one and this one is...
..he's got no balls.
Additional note to Joe...if you're going to play first base (that is a first baseman's glove on your hand) you don't stand like this. You stand like this. Jeez, my daughter was twelve and even she knew better.
Poser....
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