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Tuesday, June 17, 2003
26 things that are more or less true about Bill O'Reilly
Bill O'Reilly says:
Sex, lies and videotape on the Internet, that's the subject of this evening's Talking Points Memo. Nearly everyday, there's something written on the Internet about me that's flat out untrue. And I'm not alone. Nearly every famous person in the country's under siege.
Just so I can keep his DiMaggio-like streak going....
Bill O'Reilly--- The Untold Factoids:
A) Bill thinks there is a Nobel Prize for "Non-Spinning".
B) Bill likes to play "The Shepardess and the Hun" with his wife.
C) Sometimes Bill plays the Hun.
D) Bill once had carnal thoughts about the sumptuous ass of Karen Hughes.
E) Bill listens to the farm reports while eating breakfast in the nude.
F) Bill once won a Peabody award.
G) Bill has ten toes, but six of them are on one foot
H) Bill once said Creed "totally rocks".
I) Bill wanted be an actuary when he was growing up. A naked actuary.
J) Bill once had carnal thoughts about the sumptuous ass of the AFLAC duck.
K) Bill cannot distinguish the color gray.
L) Bill can felate himself.
M) After defecating, Bill makes his secretary flush for him by saying "Go abort the food-baby".
N) Bill taught Denny Terrio everything he knows.
0) Bill can be heard on Cheap Trick: Live at Budokan yelling "Freeeee Birrrrd!".
P) Bill didn't know she was only sixteen
Q) Bill longs for the day when Angel Flight pants will come back in fashion.
R) Bill has a cat that can ask for waffles by simply saying "Waffles"
S) Bill doesn't know who Luke Skywalker's father is.
T) Bill owns every Happy Meal toy manufactured since 1983
U) Bill went out last Halloween naked and on rollerskates and told people he was a "pull-toy".
V) Bill can sing American Pie in it's entirety in pig latin.
W) Bill fakes an orgasm once a week...when masturbating.
X) Bill eats a pint of "Chubby Hubby" every Saturday night while watching How Stella Got Her Groove Back with his cat.
Y) Bill is a member of New York City's Sewer Alligator Rescue.
Z) Bill can't live if living is without you
I report...you decide.
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