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Thursday, May 01, 2003
Tonights Presidential (sic) speech brought to you by Depends. The first choice of poopy, peeing, run-away-from-danger Commanders in Chief.
Oy. That Ari, what a stitch. He should get himself to the Catskills with this kind of material:
President Bush plans to make history today by landing in a small plane on a moving aircraft carrier hundreds of miles from shore to declare an end to the combat phase of the war in Iraq.
The White House downplayed any danger to the president, whose four-person Navy S-3B Viking anti-submarine aircraft will hook onto a steel cable after landing to prevent it from plunging off the flight deck and into the Pacific Ocean. Mr. Bush will be in the co-pilot's seat.
"He is a former pilot," White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer said of his boss, who once flew jet fighters for the Texas Air National Guard. "For the sake of the landing, I'm sure he will be doing no piloting," the spokesman deadpanned. "Hope he's not watching today's briefing."
But later in the day, Mr. Bush playfully left open the possibility that he would take the controls of the plane.
"Never can tell what's going to kick in — the urge," he told reporters in the Oval Office. "Let me just say: Stay clear of the landing pattern."
Yeah, right. "The Urge". We saw that in action back on 9/11.
But isn't it funny that Ari didn't mention that the former Texas Air National Guardsman was suspended from flying?
"Verbal orders of the Comdr on 1 Aug. 72 suspending 1st Lt. George W. Bush ... from flying status are confirmed... Reason for suspension: failure to accomplish medical examination."
Year of refusing to take medical: 1972 Year drug testing implemented in military medical exams: 1972
When pinned down, George W. Bush said he has not taken drugs "since 1974."
I guess he could take the controls today. Most of the cocaine should be out of his system by now.
I mean is this the face of a man who's not clean and straight?
(Added: So how many times do you think the Liberal Media is going to show us the footage of Bush's plane's touching down with him climbing out and giving us a "thumbs up"? Let's just say that if you use this as a drinking game, we'll see you next Tuesday.)
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