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Monday, April 07, 2003
The dinner went fine until the banana flambé was served.
Then the hooting turned into terrified shrieks.
In case you missed it, and if you have a real life, you probably did, the Media Research Center held their annual "DisHonors Awards: Roasting the Most Outrageously Biased Liberal Reporters of 2002" on Thursday March 27th at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington, D.C. Held in the plush Australopithecus Room just down the hall from the room where the Omni Shoreham stores the urinal cakes, it was a night of gaiety (the straight kind) by Conservatives from all around the country who joined together to laugh at each others strained attempts at humor instead of their usual sitting at home in a pair of loose sweatpants watching Friends while indulging in self abuse. Like this guy.
Notable Conservatives (two words not often used together) who made appearances included Cal Thomas, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and Ann Coulter. John Fund was supposed to be a presenter but instead spent the evening slapping his girlfriend around in the parking structure. Just like last year. Entertainment was provided by washed-up cracker band, The Charlie Daniels Band, who played their one hit song six times before stumbling off-stage and back into obscurity.
The highlight of the evening, besides the Kate O'Beirne/Phyllis Schlafly Astroglide Wresting Smackdown, was the award for the Quote of the Year, this year delivered by Bill Moyers:
“The entire federal government — the Congress, the executive, the courts — is united behind a right-wing agenda for which George W. Bush believes he now has a mandate. That agenda includes the power of the state to force pregnant women to surrender control over their own lives. It includes using the taxing power to transfer wealth from working people to the rich. It includes giving corporations a free hand to eviscerate the environment and control the regulatory agencies meant to hold them accountable. And it includes secrecy on a scale you cannot imagine.
“Above all, it means judges with a political agenda appointed for life. If you like the Supreme Court that put George W. Bush in the White House, you will swoon over what’s coming. And if you like God in government, get ready for the Rapture....”
“So it’s a heady time in Washington, a heady time for piety, profits and military power, all joined at the hip by ideology and money. Don’t forget the money....”
“Republicans out-raised Democrats by $184 million and they came up with the big prize: monopoly control of the American government and the power of the state to turn their radical ideology into the law of the land. Quite a bargain at any price.”
— Bill Moyers’ commentary on PBS’s Now, November 8.
Proving once again, that you can be both biased and absolutely correct at the same time. Afterwards, according to the MRC:
Following the presentation of the awards, attendees saw replays of three of the five winning quotes: ABC's David Wright claiming “it is impossible to say whether” the 99.96 percent vote for Saddam Hussein is “a true measure of the Iraqi people’s feelings,” ABC's Barbara Walters proclaiming that “if literacy alone were the yardstick, Cuba would rank as one of the freest nations on Earth,” and Bill Moyers denouncing conservatives for acquiring “monopoly control of the American government and the power of the state to turn their radical ideology into the law of the land.”
Then, as a picture of each nominee was displayed, audience members were asked by MRC President L. Brent Bozell to hoot, holler and applaud to indicate their preference so that he, along with Cal Thomas, Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter (Sean Hannity had left to do his FNC show), could decipher the audience's preference.
Just like in previous years the "hooting" was accompanied by some feces throwing and "banging of sticks on the table" but was mostly confined to Michelle Malkin's table where she had spent most of the evening demanding to see the busboy's green cards.
Afterwards select attendees retired to L. Brent Bozell's salon where they enjoyed brandies, cigars, and the oral attentions of a latex-clad Ann Coulter wearing a Howell Raines mask.
No arrests were reported.
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